06 October 2011

With apologies to Biggus Dickus

I dunno... is it just my imagination... or is it always the guys with the way-cool names who keep getting all the gun-related headlines?

-- TORONTO -- Maximus Williams, 21, is charged with careless storage of a firearm, knowingly possessing an unauthorized firearm, possession of a prohibited firearm with ammunition, unauthorized possession of a firearm, possessing a firearm obtained by crime, careless storage of ammunition, failing to comply with an undertaking, possessing a prohibited device, and altering a firearm serial number.
That oughta be good for a couple days at the Crowbar Motel.

Well, he still made out better than ol' Jefflin.

**********

RELATED: Pop goes the, well... you know...

Toronto... another day, another dead guy..
"People in the west-end neighbourhood say the man who was shot goes by the nickname Weezy. He hasn't otherwise been identified."
The total legacy of a human life?

So sad.

**********

LAST WORD: In other "crime is down" news

Psssst... wanna beat that 6 hour wait at your local germ-infested hospital emergency room? Try showing up at this place...
Inside, the building is bright and airy. The 12 injection stalls are kept scrupulously clean, with new needles, water and antiseptic wipes laid out on a table in front of a mirror for each new client. Nurses attend to wounds, abscesses, vein and skin conditions.
I've gotta say... these places sound way more engaging & hospitable than the hospitals I've been to recently...
“A lively and warm place,” as its website advertises, “where people of all stripes come to get injection equipment, condoms, crack pipes, counselling and even to draw a picture or play an instrument.”
And they go out of their way to make a person feel welcome.
You are all invited to join in the seasonnal(sic) seringe(sic) picking in your community.
You might as well reap the benefits, Canada... after all, you're paying for it.


4 comments:

JA Goneaux said...

A few days in jail? Nah. See, he only has one previous "failure to comply", which is pretty much a mulligan these days....

Anonymous said...

How much do you want to bet ol' Maximus does not understand one word of the numerous charges against him?
"Maximus, can you define the term 'undertaking'"?
" Ya, that's when the body is on the ground and you got to reach under to take his wallet."

Anonymous said...

I have kinda wondered about this phenomenon myself Neo.
I mean cause your name is "Jam Master Jay" or "Two-pack" the latter possibly bein' 4 short of a six pack, but I digress as usual.
I wonder if there is some sort of "bullet magnet" effect in having a too cool for school name.
Probably has an effect on their trouser waistbands also, they seem to hang a little low, is that weird or what?
Maybe Bishop TuTu and the Deli Lama could do a study?

Neo Conservative said...

*
from what i've observed over the last decade... having a cool birth name... or better yet, a street name... paints a large red target on your back.

there's probably a doctoral thesis in there somewhere.

*