Hopey-changey enviro-witchery

FROM THE COMMENTS:"If you bring them home from the market in one of those enviro-bags, that will make them taste a bit better.""Another little trick is to walk or bicycle home from the store.""This is one reason I only buy free-range eggs. Way to elicit confidence in the consumer...it's like a little reminder...'this egg may be poison...

In other "your home, their castle" news...

...it's David Chen... all over again...By the time police arrived — just five minutes later, according to Robert — the stabbing victim and four others allegedly involved in the home invasion — three women and one man — had sped away in a car, crossing into Ontario in the hopes that by seeking treatment at the Montfort Hospital, they would not be connected to the Gatineau incident.And surprise, surprise......

If these two were so smart...

...why didn't they realise that "actions have consequences?" -- New Jersey -- Rubin Sinins said Molly Wei, 18, wrote to the university and asked to "withdraw without prejudice" after Clementi’s death.The Home News Tribune reported that Dharun Ravi, the other Rutgers student charged in the case, has also withdrawn from the universi...

Who's laughing now?

All of this, of course, could give rise to a novel explanation on November 3, after the results of the elections are in. I look forward to Stewart saying, on his show, that the Democrats lost in large numbers because "America is insane." And then he, and others like him, can take elegant consolation in their sani...

Hello Kitty!

The ongoing pussification of the western world...

No more Trudeaupia

“We make no apologies for saying that someone who pays a smuggler as part of a criminal enterprise tens of thousands of dollars to come to Canada illegally without identification — with hundreds of other people, flooding our system’s ability to identify them — should face more robust detention provisions.”Yes, of course... those evil, draconian Neocons...As QMI’s investigative report shows, 71% of...

Michael Ignatieff & Liberal stalwarts...

...demand immediate action on "National Shoulder-Fired Rocket Registry"...

Reading, Writing and Ridiculous

These multiplying programs sadly illustrate how "compassion" for the less fortunate can evolve into a powerful lobby and run unchecked since nobody dares oppose the glittering nonsense. Providing the "college experience" to those baffled by college is a close cousin to awarding diplomas to semi-literates, defining all students as "gifted" though in different ways, or creating empty-calorie group identity...

Meanwhile... in other breaking news from...

...the worldwide fight against Islamophob... wait a minute...Two hotel workers have been arrested after Swiss tourists renewing their wedding vows at a luxury resort in the Indian Ocean were branded "infidels" and "swine" during the ceremony, according to reports.Amateur video of the incident in the Maldives shows the marriage officiator abusing the couple in the Dhivehi tongue — as the bride and...

One for the good guys

"Peter Lindsay, lawyer for the three men, successfully argued that Mr. Bennett - whose record of 43 convictions, many for theft, reaches back more than 30 years - was the only criminal involved in the incident, and that Mr. Chen responded reasonably each time the thief escalated his bid to evade capture."Of course... it's a funny kind of victory... I imagine David Chen is out at least ten thousand...

You know, Rob... call me a little anal...

... but I'm just not sure that... this time anyway... "troubled" is gonna cover it...Is it just possible... that giving five dollar blowjobs to unwashed strangers in dark, dirty alleys to cover your next hit on the devil's glass pipe... isn't an optimum career choice after all?Darlene MacNeill was 35...

The Turkey Baster Chronicles

Hey, I know you... you're that messed-up chick whose mom needs a man... like a fish needs a bicycle..."A study from the Commission on Parenthood's Future found children conceived by sperm donation are more likely to suffer from isolation and depression, and are roughly twice as likely as biological children to struggle with substance abuse."Hmmm... there's a couple of possibilities that jump out here.Either...

In other "Your home, their castle" news

Yet again... the world appears to be upside-down...Singleton and his wife Marilyn arrived home to discover a strange vehicle parked in the driveway May 29. The 46-year-old homeowner parked behind it, trapping it while he fetched a hatchet from his home northwest of Taber, RCMP say.The man searched his house and found no one inside, but encountered a man in his 20s trying to escape in the blocked car....

Welcome Back Khadr?

Not bloody likely...“I speak in the name of the Government of Canada and what I can tell you is that any plea bargain was between Mr. Khadr’s officials, his lawyers as well as the American government.""And the Government of Canada is not involved in that.”**********RELATED: Meanwhile, across the aisle......the Natural Governing Party ramps up... "Operation Bite My Own Testicles"...He went on to talk...

See, here's the deal, David...

...if there's one thing I don't mind my tax dollars being spent on... it's keeping very bad people in jail for as long as humanly possible...On the eve of his trial next week for first-degree murder, Tucker, 24, has pleaded guilty to manslaughter.Defence lawyer David Heath argued that a sentence of six to eight years would spare Canadians the expense of continued incarceration. He told the judge the...

It ain't all cheap plastic lawn furniture...

...and lead-painted baby toys...The secret sauce behind the system — and the technological achievement — is the interconnect, or networking technology, developed by Chinese researchers that shuttles data back and forth across the smaller computers at breakneck rates, Mr. Dongarra said.“That technology was built by them,” Mr. Dongarra said. “They are taking supercomputing very seriously and making...

The first thing we do...

...is hang all the lawye...

Of course, switching to Hot-Air Balloons...

...would be both more ecologically AND aesthetically pleasing...Ignatieff says the public is questioning whether the country needs stealth fighters to defend its airspace -- especially given the huge deficit run up by the Tories.He says Liberals will get Canadians better value for money.Seriously, Professor Poupon... you really wanna die on this particular hill?On his first day in office in 1993,...

Yet another "slow news day"...

...in the nation's capital..."She had to be 300 pounds," says Labelle. She's lying prone on her back on top of me. ... She's totally covering me. There's nothing I can do.""I couldn't breathe. I thought I was going to have a heart attack." -- Fortunately... it looks like there's a way VIA Rail can...

From our voluminous...

..."Hope is cheap" file..."If the drug were substandard, the attorneys argue, it could cause the condemned pain or suffering."[....

Old School

Flowery speeches & airy-fairy promises notwithstanding... most people actually do give a crap that the trains run on time...That was always Ford's claim to fame: that even if you didn't live in his ward, he returned your call. If you were wrapped up in red tape and called Rob Ford, an hour or maybe a day later, the tape got snipped. The Wheeltrans showed up at your elderly mother's door. That...

Hope, Change and...

...perhaps he'd better start polishing up his resume...Currently, two-thirds of Americans (67%) have a negative opinion of the job President Obama is doing while just over one-third (37%) have a positive opinion. This continues the president's downward trend and he is now at the lowest job approval rating of his presidency.These are some of the results of The Harris Poll of 3,084 adults surveyed online...

The ties that bind...

...and enrage & inflame... McGuinty cabinet minister says Torontonians are bigots...**********THE COMPASSIONATE, INTELLECTUAL LEFT REPLIES:"One funny part of this election is the far right shills trying to "prove" that the left of centre is having major conniptions about Ford. Like your little fabricated...

The Devil is in the...

...details, er... law degree...In a phone interview with the CBC from Guantanamo Bay, Khadr's lawyer, Dennis Edney labelled the plea deal "a piece of paper," and said his client "would have confessed to anything, including the killing of John F. Kennedy, just to get out of this hellhole."Geez, Dennis.. I hope you're not saying you counseled your client to lie under oath...He told the court no one...

Coming soon... to a neighbourhood...

...near you...Omar Khadr’s sentence will not change if he transfers to a Canadian prison cell, but he would hit the jackpot when it comes to parole. In the United States, prisoners have little chance of being paroled until they have served 85 per cent of their prison sentence, Mr. Greenspan said.In...

And overnight, the sad strains...

...of "Puff the Magic Dragon" continue to haunt the lonely streets...A race that late polls were still declaring to be neck and neck turned out to be nothing of the kind. Neck and ankle, maybe.The tweeters were beside themselves. Goodbye bike lanes, they tweeted, time to pack the bags and flee to a more moderate, progressive, inclusive city, like … Calgary.**********FROM THE COMMENTS:"Calgary?! We...

I remember Canada

"All London taxpayers pay for the London Convention Centre, but the London Convention Centre apparently does not serve all London taxpayers. It won't be too long now and, like Robin Hood and his Merrie Men, we'll be having to hold our get-togethers in a clearing in the forest on the edge of town."It's...

Never a Liberal ballsack around...

...when you really need one...Something odd is going on with Michael Ignatieff and China. It’s more than two weeks since dissident Liu Xiaobo was awarded the Nobel peace prize while residing in a Chinese jail cell. If Mr. Ignatieff has had anything to say about it, he’s keeping it well hidden.If he’s afraid to be seen lecturing the Chinese now, what’s he going to do if he ends up as Prime Minister?Ooh,...

GUILTY

Mr. Khadr assented to knowing that he was attacking civilians, that he wanted to kill U.S. troops, that he planted mines and that he received one-on-one terrorist training from an al-Qaeda operative. Mr. Khadr's guilty plea short circuits the trial phase but a sentencing phase will proceed. Testimony from Tabitha Speer, the widow of the special forces soldier killed by a grenade thrown during a fierce,...

A slice of animation history passes on

The talking cartoon animals suggested it was a kid's show; the smart humor, delivered at warp speed, clued adults that the series was really for them. The trick that The Simpsons, South Park and Family Guy try to master 14 to 24 times a year — populate a cartoon world with indelible characters — Rocky pulled off five times a we...

Where's Waldo?

Maybe you should ask Alexa...

Never a gun registry around...

...when you really need one...Two men were killed and the young woman was in critical condition after the shootings Saturday evening near a housing complex in Winnipeg's north end. Police say a 13-year-old girl was shot first and seriously wounded. Fifteen minutes later, an adult male was gunned down and killed a few blocks away, followed 20 minutes later by the fatal shooting of another man in a...

I know it's probably gilding the lily...

...but there's just a few small details the Globe & Mail (and celebrity/guest editor Bono)... left out of their recent mini-series on the "socio-economic miracle" that is modern-day Africa..."The dismembered body of a young albino boy has been found in a river on the Burundi-Tanzania border, reports say. Albino body parts are prized in parts of Africa, with witch-doctors claiming they have special...

BREAKING IN BC...

...stand by for massive outbreaks of Christian rioting, firebombing & looting... in three, two, one...A Roman Catholic bishop from Kamloops in southern BC remains in serious condition after being beaten at a downtown church Friday night.At 10:15p.m. the suspect forced his way into the rectory at the Sacred Heart Cathedral and "allegedly assaulted" 69-year-old Bishop David Monroe. A priest at the...

It's a legal system... not a justice system

But, hey... a few quick fixes and we're good to go -- you know... like fewer "victim impact" statements... more lethal injection..."Canadians can do with a little toughening up. If Ms. Comeau could fight off Mr. Williams with her hands bound behind her back, her eyes covered, her body battered, to...

No word yet, from Mayor Miller's office...

...which gun club the shooters belonged to...Police in 14 Division said the shooting could be gang-related and are appealing for witnesses to come forward."Nobody talks to us," Superintendent Ruth White, who commands the division, told The Globe, adding there have been six similar shootings in the past two weeks.Hmmm, Ruthie... you think it might have anything to do with today's "pretty, pretty please"...

"Let's go harrass a sick elderly lady"

More fun & games from courtesy of the... compassionate, intellectual le...

Wake up Toronto...

...and smell the rainbows and candied unicorns...George Smitherman wants to tap into the energy of Toronto’s diverse business community to sell the city to the world.Good grief, I don't even understand what that means... but I do remember how Liberal Health Minister Smitherman "fixed" all of Ontario's healthcare woes. Is this his big plan to "save" Toronto? Moreover, the last time I looked... the...

Fewer social workers... more fresh water

Do people really need the United Nations to show them how to plant crops, raise goats or dig a well? Build a desalinisation plant and drop off a hundred simple tractors for goodness sake... and move on to the next disaster zone.I mean, it's not like the U.N. is gonna do something useful... like remove a corrupt administration...Catherine Huck, deputy country director for the U.N. Office for the Coordination...

Darwin was right

Where's Steve Irwin when you really, really need him? -- DRC -- A report of the incident said: "The terrified air hostess hurried towards the cockpit, followed by the passengers."The plane was then sent off-balance "despite the desperate efforts of the pilo...

Do the right thing thing

Once again... Canada steps up... -- SHANGHAI -- Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon says he will call for the release of jailed Nobel Peace Prize winner Liu Xiaobo when he meets the Chinese foreign minister in Beijing Friday.Cannon said that when he meets Chinese Foreign Minister Yang Jiechi, he will point to Prime Minister Stephen Harper's statement calling for Liu's release that was issued...

You 'ave leesaunce for your minky?

Way to audible, Clouseau... that narrows it down to about half a million suspects...The suspect is described as 6' with a medium build. He was last seen wearing a black hoodie and black track pants, and heading eastbound on foot on Bloor Street West.Seriously? That's the BOLO you're tossing out there?Apparently... there's never a Constable Twitter around... when you really need one...“The only way...

Handing out concrete life-jackets...

...that'll solve everything...The projections of additional bailouts for Fannie and Freddie are in sharp contrast to recent discussions by the Obama administration about how the bank rescue known as the Troubled Assets Relief Program, originally valued a $700 billion, is expected to cost taxpayers less than a tenth of that.Just ask yourself, if... instead of Stephen Harper... Michael Ignatieff was...

Lock your doors... wear a seatbelt and...

..."teach your children well"...This is exactly the kind of story I make sure I show my own 14 year-old son...A 22-year-old Western student from the faculty of science died early Sunday morning after a 15-storey fall from an apartment building on Richmond Street.Edmondson was sitting on the edge of a balcony railing when he lost his balance and slipped off the balcony, according to several friends...

The evil dumbassery of George W....

...wait a minute..."We want to make sure that they have the tools that they need to be able to defend themselves," he said of Saudi Arabia, a key regional ally. The kingdom had no immediate comment.Some details of the proposed sale have been known for months, but the inclusion of up to 1,000 one-ton bombs known as Joint Direct Attack Munitions, or JDAMs, and other guided bombs in the package, was...

Bright lights, big city...

...never a gun registry around... when you really need it...Toronto police are investigating a double shooting that occurred near Christie subway station Wednesday afternoon, one that has left two people wounded.Toronto EMS said they have transported one male, estimated to be in his mid-20s, to a trauma centre for treatment of a serious gunshot wound to his arm. A second male patient had their head...

The World According to...

...San Francisco...**********RELATED: Pentagon tells Obama......"Screw you... we're enlisting gays!"...Washington (CNN) -- The Obama administration has filed a request with the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to stay a lower court injunction stopping the military policy regarding openly gay troops...

Apparently, Furious George can't even...

...deliver coals to Newcastle...“He’s pretty ill informed, which is really disappointing considering he is a former health minister,” McClelland told Xtra. “Calling them shooting galleries is really offensive. He is blatantly ignoring evidence.”Looks like Smitherman may not be able to scoop up the junkie vote after all.**********RELATED: A McSlippery SlopeGeez... what kind of Health Minister would...

No, no, you dumbass... you go right ahead

Hey, it's a free world... more sweat lodge, less hippy-dippy bunk -- it's just ice-cream that this sort of nonsense serves to toughen the gene...Nobody is sure exactly what is keeping people away from Sedona’s four vortexes, swirling energy sources emanating from the earth, but the effects are clear: far fewer crystals are being bought, spiritual tours taken and treatments ordered, from aura cleansings...

I don't care what Vic Toews says

In a more perfect world, Russell Williams would be publicly crucified... and no... that's not a figure of speech.Why exactly are we warehousing the likes of Williams, Paul Bernardo and Clifford Olson?I don't get it.**********UPDATE: Two concurrent life sentences......not good enough...No more bullshit, please. If Russell Williams can ever be released, and under Canada's "faint hope" provision......

Multi-culturalism versus Melting Pot

Two words -- FIT... IN -- and you'll probably do just fine...Mayor Naheed Nenshi will be at the helm and with the help of 14 aldermen will face Calgarians as the new council heads the city in a new direction.Back here in the center of the universe, of course... this can only be about one thing...That's...

Wake up and smell...

...the way the world really works..."Reporters always come here demanding to see the victims," says Olga Kostyuk, deputy head of the charity Faith, Hope, Love, which provides assistance to Odessa's sex workers. "They want to see the men, the pimps, the manipulators behind all of this. But things are not so simple now."The poverty and general hopelessness in many villages of eastern Ukraine, Moldova...

Jihad goes glossy

Just when you thought it was safe to cross the street...Lest Canadians think we’re somehow not on AQAP’s target list, the journal piece specifically suggests carrying out such attacks “in countries like Israel, the U.S., Britain, Canada, Australia, France, Germany, Denmark and Holland.”(via moose & squirrel)**********FROM THE COMMENTS: But, of course..."I blame Stephen Harpe...

Too many Chiefs...

...not enough accountability...At least 30 aboriginal band chiefs received more pay than the average after-tax income of Canada’s provincial premiers in 2008-09, according to data obtained by the Canadian Taxpayers Federation. Using federal Access to Information laws, the organization asked the Department of Indian and Northern Affairs to provide the salary information for every band chief and councillor...

Sorry... gotta draw the line somewhere

Call me a crusty old curmudgeon... but, for myself, anyway... providing euthanasia services to grieving relatives is it...

Uh, son... I think we're just gonna...

...skip this o...

That noise you hear...

... is a thundering herd of lawyers...A hiker in Washington's Olympic National Park was gored to death by a mountain goat while picnicking on Saturday. The goat was notoriously aggressive, and park rangers had been "hazing" the animal for years by shooting it with bean bags.How exactly is endlessly tormenting an animal a viable solution to this problem.Somebody remind me... how much is a single round...

Save the Children

An American charity has paid a British man addicted to drugs 200 pounds (about $320) to get a vasectomy, the BBC reported Monday.Hmmm... a pro-active solution... that prevents a serious social problem from spreading exponentially... makes perfect sense to me. In fact, let's get the government involved and offer these people serious cash.Make it a years equivalent of pogey and they'd still come out...

There oughta be a law...

...oh, man... there's just never a gun registry around when you need one...Toronto Police responded to reports of gunshots on Firvalley Crt. in the Warden Ave.-Danforth Rd. area around 1 a.m.The victim was discovered short distance away — in a small parking lot next to Cataraqui Crt. — dead in the driver’s seat. He has been identified as Isba Hassan Ismeil, 29, of Toronto.“I heard three or four shots,”...

SKYNET... it's already here

Most of the time, MDARS do random fully autonomous patrols, using RFID tags to check the status of locks and gates. If they notice something out of the ordinary, a human can take ov...

If things were working out so well...

...in the old country... why would anyone ever choose to leave? -- -- Berlin -- "Many speak little or no German, work in low paying jobs or live off of government handouts at the same time the country faces an aging population and a shortage of highly skilled workers."**********RELATED: Yeah,...

Local forecasters are calling for...

"...bullets... with a possibility of death..."A spate of armed standoffs in the tiny Nunavut community of Cape Dorset began months before it was decided that the four RCMP officers stationed there had to be pulled out this week for what their commander says is “advanced health intervention.”Gawd forbid we assign any sort of blame here. Let's just pretend it's about, uh... "lead poisoning"... yeah,...

More rainbows & candied unicorns

As CTV & the corpse that used to be Lloyd Robertson continue their non-stop weeks long "Who wants to be a Celebrity Miner" coverage... it's important to note that the world does not stop spinning...Last year 2,631 Chinese miners were killed, according to official statistics, but independent labour groups say the true figure is likely to be much higher as many accidents are believed to be covered...

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"This is one of the funniest stories I have come across in a long time. The solution to the country's burgeoning weight/obesity problem is to ban 'fat talk' and hide the bathroom scale...

From the... "Can't live with 'em..."

"...can't kill 'em" files..."He may be disciplined, and he may be made to ask forgiveness. That should be enoug...

"Are you tired..."

"...of the high taxes and constant boondoggles by the Mcguinty government!""If you are, then please join Debbie, Shirley and Ruth on a most exciting adventure to Toronto on Oct 16th! We will all meet at 12:30 pm at Nathan Phillip Square at the Winston Churchill statue!""The Rally will begin at 1 pm shar...

Splitting the difference...

...as definitive and satisfying as a pre-op transvestite...The committee of students that picked the mascot said it hoped to avoid any racial significance in the design.One finalist had gray-colored skin because, said Margaret Ann Morgan, 19, a committee co-chairwoman, “it is a combination of black and white.”**********RELATED: Hmmm, apparently there's no gray area......for President McDreamy and...