CONAN THE OCTAGENARIAN...

-- "At 78, legendary actor Arnold Schwarzenegger has dealt with shoulder, knee, elbow, and hip problems, including a hip replacement, and has had a pacemaker implanted after several open-heart surgeries." --

I SAY WE HOLD HIM DOWN AND TATTOO SKYNET ON HIS FOREHEAD...

-- "OpenAI CEO Sam Altman has unveiled to employees the company’s ambitious plans to develop and ship 100 million AI 'companion devices,' created in collaboration with former Apple designer Jony Ive. OpenAI acquired Ive’s company 'io' to build AI devices Altman hopes will soon be in every home." --

Yeah, I think I’ve seen this movie…

"The progressive brainiacs of Silicon Valley have created a metric called 'p(doom)' to define the chance AI destroys humanity."

And what about PoopNet?

Down the rabbit hole

In a modern feminist’s ideal world Wonder Woman would make fart jokes and look like Leslie Jones. She’d chop the heads off “Nazis” and then go home with an equally fat and ugly chick. This movie would tank, of course, and everyone involved would be out of a career.

That’s what you get when you appease people who want art to become fueled by spite: bankruptcy.

Forget about Disneyland

"The more I learn about Elon Musk’s Boring Project — a batshit idea to build a tunnel that sends cars at breakneck speeds under Los Angeles — the more I want to take a ride.

The twisted genius just posted video of a test sled zooming through a test tunnel. Holy shit, it’s like going into hyperspeed, and I want to ride!"

86, you say?

"Tiwari himself was last seen standing atop the Taj Mahal, pounding his chest and threatening passing biplanes with his junk."

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Hey, who doesn't like a...

...good zombie flick?

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