A MUCH NEEDED BREAK FROM DOOMSCROLLING...

FIND LOTS MORE HERE.

DEAR AMERICA... YOU'RE BEING PLAYED...

-- "To conduct the study, the researchers reviewed the following programs from January 6 through June 30: ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC’s Late Night with Seth Meyers and The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, CBS’s The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, and Comedy Central’s The Daily Show." --

THE OFFENSIVE JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES...

-- “'We would like to inform you that on Jan. 9, 2025, by the decision of the Minister of Defense, the Head of the Support Inspectorate, Maj. Gen. Artur Kępczynski, was dismissed from his post,' the Polish defense ministry shared in a post on X." --

IT AIN'T JUST TIM WALZ... YET ANOTHER DEMOCRAT CAUGHT LYING ABOUT MILITARY SERVICE...

- [ ]

-- "The Louisiana Office of Special Counsel recommended to the State Judiciary Commission that 19th District Court Judge Tiffany Foxworth-Roberts be removed from office for lying about her military service and engaging in 'egregious unethical conduct.'   She allegedly made her military service and the achievement of the rank of Captain a central theme of her election campaign," --

It gets better...

-- "Records show Foxworth-Roberts was passed over twice for the promotion and never earned the rank she claimed.   The Louisiana Office of Special Counsel reported that officers who are passed over twice for promotion to captain are forced to separate from the Army." --

And better...

-- "The ad also claims the judge served in the Desert Storm, Iraq, and Afghanistan wars. However, the OSC report stated Foxworth-Roberts would have been 16 during Desert Storm." --

GLACIALLY SLOW & INSANELY EXPENSIVE... JUST THE WAY WE LIKE IT...

-- "‘Though the submarine was in refit for 14 years give or take, we have three other submarines that were operating at the same time.’ Upgrades to Corner Brook’s sonar and communications systems were also needed, costing roughly $690 million." --

IT'S A METAPHOR FOR THE WHOLE BIDEN-HARRIS ADMINISTRATION...

-- "Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass, who was on a trip to Ghana when fire engulfed large portions of the city, cut nearly $20 million from the city’s budget for fire services for the current fiscal year — and proposed even higher cuts." --

Civil War 2.0... it's coming

Just ask a frontline trooper...

“The university does not support or condone the use of any of its educational platforms to belittle people or wish harm on those who hold differing political views.

Professor Jennifer Mosher was removed from the classroom yesterday and is on administrative leave,” the statement read.

As bodies drop and infrastructure burns, it seems the worm is turning...

"News of peaceful protests has been largely replaced by news of violent and destructive incidents of unrest."

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH:

A Canadian political science professor called for arson, prompting accusations he made a terroristic threat.

"Burn Congress down before letting Trump try to appoint anyone to SCOTUS," Waterloo professor Emmett MacFarlane tweeted.

Oops...

Only approved followers can see @EmmMacfarlane’s Tweets.

The Dumbass Chronicles

Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of my own actions...

Investigators from Peel Regional Police’s homicide bureau are probing the deaths of three men in their late 20s who died inside a Mississauga condo on Wednesday.

Illicit substances believed laced with other substances were found at the scene.

Let's talk about the constitutional right to put poison in your veins on the taxpayer dime.

#ThinningTheHerd: The problem will take care of itself...

From January until the end of July, Peel Region saw a total of 107 overdose deaths; there were 127 in the region all of last year.

Look, it's just the way it works... you can't save everybody.

ASK THE MAYOR:

RULE#1: You've gotta have "Big City" priorities...RULE#2: Pick someone from the right identity group...

Toronto Mayor John Tory slammed the sentence “chair girl” Marcella Zoia received for tossing a chair off a downtown highrise balcony onto a busy highway, saying it won’t serve as a deterrent for her or anyone else filming dangerous conduct and sharing it on social media.

“She should have gone to jail,” the mayor told CP24 on Wednesday.

That's certainly a harder line than he's taking on the recent epidemic of Black-on-Black gangbanger shootings...RULE#3: Bend the Knee...

“I think that kind of talk about sort of, you know, where this all arises from, or sort of who’s to blame, is not very constructive,” Toronto Mayor John Tory told reporters in Nathan Phillips Square.

I don't remember His Honour commenting on this one...

TORONTO • "Despite being charged with 22 offences — including gun, dangerous driving and assault police charges — and facing an apparently 'overwhelming case,' Shakiem Anderson was freed on bail with his mentally-ill brother as his surety by Justice Joseph Bovard 17 days later."

LAST WORD: It'll never be enough

Sucking up to the enemy doesn't make them your friend...

Toronto Mayor John Tory was forced to leave a groundbreaking ceremony for a luxury office building project Thursday after protesters disrupted the event.

“You are people that came and engaged in violent activity in front of my home,” the mayor said, just before he abandoned the podium and was was escorted from the scene by police.

Feet Loaf

We should've seen it coming...

...like a drama teacher's beard...RELATED: Monsters are real

#UnibrowMovement

"Used to be a werewolf, but I'm alright naawoooooooo!!!!"

Never a guillotine around...

...when you really, really need one...

Federal prosecutors says Prince Andrew has 'provided zero cooperation' in their Jeffrey Epstein investigation despite publicly promising he WOULD.

Remember what happened the last time Randy Andy tried to clarify the situation?

RELATED: Unimpeachable wisdom...

...from the guy who traded in Princess Di for Camilla Parker-Bowles.

Build a Wall, top it with glass shards...

...dot it with guntowers and lay landmines...

"It's an expression of power," she remarked, as she drove through the graveyard. "Even in your death you're powerful with air conditioning and bathrooms, kitchens, rooms inside. Your front yards, backyards, garages for the cars, parking lots to play music for the dead."

"The living spend a lot of time there," said Juan Gonzalez, a former Navy SEAL and the owner of a private security firm traveling with Logan. "Obviously, this is a good place to keep weapons. Good place to keep money."

A society that tolerates, never mind glorifies, mass murder... deserves to be isolated...

"Welcome to the weird, violent world of 'Narcocorridos,' songs about and for Mexico’s drug lords."

"If it only saves one life..."

Another "insignificant" factoid you won't hear about at Drag Queen Story Hour...

“Between 2012 and June 30 of this year, the FDA documented over 40,764 adverse reactions suffered by patients who took Leuprolide Acetate (Lupron), which is used as a hormone blocker...including 6,370 deaths.”

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RELATED: Ask an Endocrinologist

This new approach, called “gender affirmation,” makes gender dysphoria less likely to resolve, pushing children down the path toward irreversible medical and surgical interventions. The fact is, no child is actually born in the wrong body.

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

"Throw a little gas on the fire: 'Islam is right about gays'.”

It's alive!!!

Will the Farside website be brought back to life?

Just about crapped myself...

..."It was horrifically appetizing”...

VANCOUVER – "Researchers at the A&W Centre for Theoretical Food at the University of British Columbia were found yammering incoherently after piercing the scientific veil and briefly seeing what lies beyond 'Beyond Meat'."

“Everyone was screaming, brandishing forks, and spraying condiments this way and that,” reported a first responder. “And the smell, it wasn’t meat, but it wasn’t not meat, either."

Several of the younger researchers had removed their clothing and were screaming about a “flavour that should never be tasted” and demanding their tongues be removed so they could never taste again.

I'm with Joe Rogan...

"That's not ice cream, that's frozen tofu bullshit that tastes like sadness."

Aging politician living life-long lie...

...apparently suddenly decides he needs a little public affirmation... and the MSM eats it up...I once worked with a guy, whose every waking moment was dedicated to ensuring that everyone he came in contact with... each and every day... knew that he really, really liked dick.

Yeah, you heard me... dick... as in penis.

Despite this campaign, or more likely because of it, I actually knew nothing non-sex-related about this guy's day to day life.

What I do know is that every one of his professional peers was thoroughly sick and tired about knowing what he did with his genitals. Had he been hetero and so "in your face" with his proclivities, I'm damned sure H.R. would've been called in lickety-split.

This being the fabulous 90's we all just put up with it.

So here's a thought, bro. Go ahead and tell your family or friends and let them celebrate your newly found "specialness"... but unless anybody else expresses an actual & specific interest, maybe keep it in your metaphorical harem pants.

Because we really, really don't care.

Praise the Lord and pass the...

...well, clotting agent...

A man was stabbed to death during a fight at a church in Hillcrest Village Wednesday afternoon. Toronto Police say the deadly encounter unfolded near St. Clair Ave. W. and Rushton Rd. — west of Bathurst St. — just after 3 p.m.

Meanwhile, in other Hogtown stabby news.

Remember back... you were a kid...

...and there were citywide bomb threats at colleges & universities?

YEAH, ME NEITHER.

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RELATED: The Usual Suspects