21 October 2018

NO GUN, NO PROBLEM...

..."Shanked in Scarberia"... not a love story...insert alt text here

A 25-year-old man is dead and another male suspect is in custody after a stabbing occurred inside Kennedy subway station on Saturday evening. Police arrested a suspect at the scene.


20 October 2018

Doug Ford gets it...

...making nice with ISIS just seems like a really bad idea...insert alt text hereSeems Prime Minister Kardashian is walking a gentler, flower-strewn path...

"Suspected Islamic State fighter Jack Letts – nicknamed “Jihadi Jack” by the British media – is likely to be repatriated to Canada rather than the UK."
In Liberal Canada, there's no such thing as too many terrorists.


19 October 2018

From the folks who brought you...

...melamine in baby formula...

The Zheng drug trafficking organization was hardly clandestine. The Shanghai-based network sold synthetic narcotics, including deadly fentanyl, on websites posted in 35 languages, from Arabic and English to Icelandic and Uzbek.

The Chinese syndicate bragged that its laboratory could “synthesize nearly any” drug and that it churned out 16 tons of illicit chemicals a month.
When will Justin legalise fentanyl and really start "protecting our children?"

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RELATED: Fentanyl, fentanyl...

...that sounds so familiar...


18 October 2018

But, but, but... they said Tru-Dope...

...would make me faster, smarter AND better looking...insert alt text here

"The ticket, like a lot of offences pertaining to legal marijuana, comes with a $672 fine."
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RELATED: I'm from the government...

...I'm here to save you...
The only problem is that the Ontario Cannabis Store had initially mislabelled how to apply the product, saying it was for "sublingual" use, which means under the tongue -- in other words, orally.

The spray made by Hexo Corp. is meant to be applied on the genitals.
Weed for that itchy, worn-out millennial wazoo.

Thanks Prime Minister!


Jane-Finch apprenticeship program...

...producing mixed results...insert alt text here

A 16-year-old boy and a suspect, police identify as Christopher Palmer, of Toronto, are facing a combined 26 charges, including attempted murder, possessing a loaded firearm, discharging a firearm with the intent to endanger life, and aggravated assault.
Mentoring B+... Civics F.

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RELATED: Sorry, Mom... you're out of luck...
Police didn’t release a description of the shooter or any other occupant of the suspect vehicle.
Because... racism.


17 October 2018

Diversity is our streng...

...sweet baby jebus...

As he started to dismember the body, Salah Muhammad al-Tubaigy put on earphones and listened to music. He advised other members of the squad to do the same. Tubaigy began to cut Khashoggi’s body up on a table in the study while he was still alive, the Turkish source said.

When I do this job, I listen to music. You should do that too,” Tubaigy, the president of the Saudi Fellowship of Forensic Pathology, was recorded as saying.
I wonder if Sneezy, Dopey, Freddie and all the other imbeciles on the 15 man assassination squad just realised that their horoscopes have suddenly been changed to protect the Crown Prince's deniability.

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UPDATE: A plane crash would be cleaner...
One of the 15 Saudis who arrived in Turkey the same day Jamal Khashoggi disappeared has died in a “suspicious traffic accident.”
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RELATED: Somebody's gotta take the fall...
The rulers of Saudi Arabia are considering blaming a top intelligence official close to Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman for the killing of Jamal Khashoggi.
Sucks to be Ahmed al-Assiri.


Today in Justin's Canada

Legal dope and let's free a serial killer...

BATH, Ont. -- Convicted rapist and killer Paul Bernardo is due to plead for release today.
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UPDATE: Fuck you, you piece of shit

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LAST WORD: Of course, it could be worse...
Facing a massive surge in gang-related crimes, in particular involving the use of hand grenades, police in Sweden have introduced a three-month-long amnesty for “explosive goods.”


16 October 2018

Black Lives Matter, Toronto?

Apparently, just not to each other...insert alt text here

"An armed standoff in the elevator of a Front St. condominium triggered a 'gang war kidnapping,' where two male teens were tortured, held captive for several days, forced to perform sex acts on each other while being videotaped and to play Russian roulette with a loaded gun."
You don't remember this one?
"Investigators believe the kidnapping was precipitated by a shootout involving the Young Buck Killas and the Queens Drive Crips that unfolded April 19 in the 25th-floor hallway of 300 Front St. W."
Oh, it gets better... by which I mean worse.

Remember... Justin Trudeau thinks confiscating my legally registered firearms will solve this problem.


15 October 2018

That's why they call it...

...the Entertainment District...toronto's most wanted

Gunshots rang out at around 3 a.m. in the area of Peter and Adelaide streets and multiple vehicles sustained damage.

Police have not released any information on possible suspects.
So, where is "Black Lives Matters Toronto" these days?
Toronto police say a 19-year-old suspect in a fatal shooting that led to a brief lockdown at two high schools has been charged with second-degree murder. Amal Jones of Toronto turned himself in Sunday evening.
The problem isn't guns... it's gangbangers.


"So, humanity. What is humanity?"

"Well, we’ve touched upon it there. We’re great apes. Not metaphorically! We’re literally great apes. We are 98.6% genetically identical to a chimpanzee. We’re closer to chimps than chimps are to gorillas."

"Don’t ever dead-name me. Don’t call me Ricky Gervais again. From now on, you call me Bobo. I’m gonna have species realignment. I’m halfway there. I’m short, with short legs and long arms. I stoop. My back’s getting hairier by the day. I’ve got fangs, like that. I love nuts. I love nuts."

"I’ll be legally a chimp. I’ll be well… properly chimped-up. I’ll be able to use chimp toilets!"


13 October 2018

Diversity is our streng...

...sweet baby jebus...insert alt text here

Officials are investigating allegations of voter manipulation in Richmond, Burnaby and Vancouver, B.C. after messages from the Canada Wenzhou Friendship Society sent out on the social media app WeChat appeared to be offering money for voting in those three cities.

The City of Vancouver, Richmond and Burnaby are all conducting investigations and the matter has been referred to Vancouver Police.


12 October 2018

Taking guns away from farmers, hunters...

...and skeet shooters... that'll solve everything...insert alt text here

Police say the male suspect accused of killing 18-year-old Elliott Reid-Doyle in a Scarborough parking lot last week knew him for no more than one minute before firing several shots at him and fleeing on foot.
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UPDATE: Just a matter of time...
On Saturday, Toronto Police said they identified the suspect as Amal Jones of Toronto. He is considered armed and dangerous and should not be approached if seen.
But wait... there's more...insert alt text here
Police have issued a Canada-wide warrant for 31-year-old Richard Chambers of Innisfil who allegedly shot up a nightclub in Mississauga in September.
The usual suspects.


Living longer

The antiaging science being done at Google-backed Calico Labs is “as self-serving as the Medici building a Renaissance chapel in Italy, but with a little extra Silicon Valley narcissism thrown in.”
Then again, maybe we're already dead.


Remember, back... you were a kid...

...all those hundreds & hundreds of grave robberies...

grave robbersYeah, me neither.


11 October 2018

Notorious northwest end of Toronto...

...claims another life...most wanted

"A man was shot and killed in the North York neighbourhood of Downsview Thursday afternoon in the area of Sheppard Ave. W. and Keele St. in North York."
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UPDATE: Murder victim id'dinsert alt text here
The victim is 26-year-old Roy Zamora, a Ryerson student who had just celebrated his birthday a week ago.
Homicide #85.


FROM THE FOLKS WHO BROUGHT YOU...

...Omar Khadr, multimillionaire...insert alt text here

"Suspected Islamic State fighter Jack Letts – nicknamed “Jihadi Jack” by the British media – is likely to be repatriated to Canada rather than the UK."
Ah, yes, Canada... special laws for special people.

RELATED: As "Canadian" as an IED...
Four years ago, the Canadian was a defiant voice of the so-called Islamic State, using his social media accounts to spread beheading photos, threats and incitement messages to an English-speaking audience.