Same Planet, Different worlds

Disaster relief... check. -- Food bank... check. -- Blood donor clinic... yeah. --

Bloody jihad... hey... wait just a freakin' minute...

"Indeed, every person should according to Islam prepare himself/herself for jihad and every person should eagerly and patiently wait for the day when Allah will call them to show their willingness to sacrifice their lives."

Uh, guys... I think maybe there's a little bit of confusion here... Baghdad's that-a-way.

And speaking of Baghdad... Obama may have "ended the war"... he just forgot about ending the killing...

The fighting came to an end after the two assailants who breached the compound ran out of bullets and detonated their explosives vests, the official said. He spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to reporters.

Two weeks earlier, an al-Qaida-linked suicide bomber waded into a crowd of hundreds of army recruits outside the building and detonated a blast that killed 61 people. That was the deadliest act of violence in Baghdad in months.

Man, what's the word for this kind of crazy-ass thing?

Oh yeah... jihad.

Those darned Iraqis

-- BAGHDAD -- An Iraqi reality television program broadcast during Ramadan has been planting fake bombs in celebrities’ cars, having an Iraqi army checkpoint find them and terrifying the celebrities into thinking that they are headed for maximum security prison.

The punch-line here, apparently... is that these folks are then threatened with execution.

So, unless I'm missing something here... the same nation that claimed to have been collectively traumatised by Abu-Ghraib... has turned that dynamic into a little light after-dinner entertainment?

Ohhhh-kay... that's one more destination struck off the ol' vacation list.

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FROM THE TIMES COMMENTS:

"This is the sort of thing that would do quite well here in Germany. Substitute 'bomb' for 'unsorted recyclables' however."

Hmmm... would've been a bigger story...

...I guess, if there had been widespread rioting... or a slew of death-threats... in response to the news...

A close reader of ChristWire will soon figure out (one hopes) that the site is not serious. But many of the columns are deft enough, just plausible enough, to fool the casual reader. Even — or perhaps especially — a reader whose beliefs are being mocked.

I guess some folks cows... are more sacred than others.

Maybe if there had been some cartoons...

It's a book...

...about what?

Hey, no biggie Faysal...

I hear those SWAT Team guys are pretty laid back... especially, you know... when you're kidding around about guns...

"Phone call was an accident or a prank call. Must have been some big joke that I did not take part of, and all I wanted to do was figure out what happened," Abdiwali told CBC News.

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RELATED: Speaking of big jokes

I, like many Canadians, learned of this petition when author and “A-list” cultural nationalist Margaret Atwood announced she had signed it.

Atwood is not the only A-list “celebrity” that has signed.

Dwight Shroot (from The Office), Boba Fett (of Star Wars), Snuffaluffagus (Sesame Street) and Homer Simpson are also signatories. Clearly the CRTC should take note of such distinguished individuals lending their name to this smear job.

This is not the first time Atwood has put her political agenda ahead of principles and patriotism.

In the 2008 election campaign she was asked if she would vote for the separatist Bloc Quebecois if she lived in Quebec, she said: “Yes. Absolutely. What is the alternative?”

The Puffin King -- A Field Guide

Finally, though, destiny wove its predestined web. Mr. Ignatieff became Liberal Party Leader without a single vote being cast, very possibly a first in the long history of democracy.

From there on up it's been downhill all the way.

Soon the Ignatieff Liberals were being embraced by the same 25 per cent of the voters even Stéphane Dion couldn’t alienate.

But only fanatical Liberals – a dying breed, alas – can really be surprised. After four years, it's hard to see why Mr. Ignatieff has bothered at all.

He appears to stand for nothing except the centre, wherever and whatever that is.

If you truly love this planet...

...you'll start wiring up pipe-bombs too...

The man was rushed to hospital after the explosion in Repentigny, just east of Montreal. Police say about 40 homes in the area have been evacuated and a bomb squad will be investigating.

Repentigny police spokesman Bruno Marier says the man is in his 50s and works for a major petroleum company.

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UPDATE: Bombing victim id'd

Neighbours say the man is André Girard, 52, an employee of Petro-Canada.

For what it's worth, another suspicious package was found this morning in Brossard... another Montreal suburb.

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UPDATE2: False alarm in Brossard

The package, spotted in a driveway on Salvador Cr. near Santiago St. about 7 a.m., “turned out to be a phony bomb,” Longueuil police Constable Mark David said.

The SQ bomb squad officers nevertheless said it had been designed to look a lot like a bomb and the squad “neutralized” it shortly before noon.

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RELATED: It's always the "true believers"...

...you really have to worry about...

"Yesterday, Stéphane Dion’s candidate in Central Nova, Elizabeth May retracted her characterization of NATO and Canadian forces as 'Christian Crusaders'."

The fourth Horseface of the Apocalypse

Writing that the NDP will help turn Canada into an “unregulated gun zone”, Ms. Mallick contends that Jack Layton will be responsible for the women who die at the hands of their violent husbands if the registry vanishes. The registration forms for handguns, she contends, are designed to guard against men who buy guns after a divorce to seek retribution.

“What is the NDP saying then? Have a go?”

What is Heather saying? That only the gun registry stands between deranged husbands and murder? Blunt trauma weapons won’t work? Sharp pointy objects? Ropes? Deep water?

Wow... you know the "Red Star" is getting desperate when they go after Toronto's most infamous socialist.

Hopefully, Heather Mallick is just getting warmed up. I'm looking forward to a continuing series of "Eating Your Young Week" masterpieces.

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RELATED: Keep standing on the pedal, baby

It's total dumb-assery like Heather Mallick's ravings that truly convinces people this thing was a horrible, mindless waste.

Crapping on Jack Layton is just ice-cream.

Assuming the registry data is accurate -- which rank and file police officers tell us is a huge assumption given that less than one-half of Canadian long guns are registered on the CFRO -- what difference do any of these firearms data searches make?

Where no guns are revealed on the database do officers shed their Kevlar vests and leave their guns at home because the firearms registry says "no guns." If guns are listed, does this mean the SWAT arrives?

Of course not.

Dalton does downward

Spiral... that is...

A recent Ipsos Reid poll indicates a dramatic shift in Ontario’s political landscape over the past year, with Liberal support sinking in the wake of various scandals and unpopular decisions. Two thirds, or 64 per cent, of respondents believe it’s time for a new party to take the helm.

Exactly what Toronto needs...

...higher taxes AND hiring quotas...

As mayor, George Smitherman says he would encourage youth employment by charging businesses to create a $10-million fund subsidizing companies that hire young people.

He would also oblige firms doing business with the city – including transit, Toronto Hydro and the police service – to hire youth.

Hang on... Smitherman, Smitherman... that sounds so familiar.

That secretive, controlling Stephen Harp...

...wait a minute...

-- OTTAWA -- CBC may demand accountability from the government but Canada’s taxpayer-funded broadcaster is going to court once again in order to keep its own affairs secret.

The CBC will square off against the information commissioner, an independent officer of Parliament, in a Montreal courtroom on Sept. 13.

Never a dirty capitalist infidel around...

...when you really need one...

"If the U.S. Treasury Department will guarantee that everyone will get their money, maybe that will work," said Karzai, who holds 7 percent of the bank's shares, making him the third-biggest shareholder.

Karzai, who spends most of his time in Dubai - where he lives in a waterfront villa paid for by Kabul Bank - rushed to Kabul on Wednesday to join efforts to salvage the bank.

Meanwhile... back in the good ol' U.S. of A. --

All the speakers said repeatedly that they do not condone the violence in the community and "gang banging" and want to stop it. But they argued that gangs are not the cause of the violence.

Meanwhile, it was another violent night in Chicago, as one gang-related shooting quickly led to another in retaliation.

Bloc Talk

“I think the Liberals and the NDP are going to have a lot of explaining to do about why they want to be a coalition partner with a party that thinks things like the national parks are a federalist plot,” Mr. Harper said.

“I think it’s just bizarre.”

And, hey... while we're on bizarre... the compassionate, intellectual left replies... in the comments...

"is that what you tell you(sic) friends in the dark in high park neo?? AH HAHA AH AHA HA AH AHHA HA"

He even supplied his own laugh-track.

Good gawd.

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FROM THE COMMMENTS: Parting is such sweet sorrow

"don't worry, I'll now leave you"
Posted by Anonymous to halls of macadamia at 11:56 AM, September 03, 2010

"I think I'm almost about done here whaddaya say?"
Posted by Anonymous to halls of macadamia at 2:05 PM, September 03, 2010

"I think I'm almost about done here whaddaya say?"
Posted by Anonymous to halls of macadamia at 2:56 PM, September 03, 2010

"I think I'm almost about done here whaddaya say?"
Posted by Anonymous to halls of macadamia at 3:21 PM, September 03, 2010

Poor Libby... he's got it bad.

Never a gun registry around...

...when you really need it.

-- Fish lake, B.C. -- “People are willing and ready to defend our lands. As one of my elders had said when we were going through the panel hearings, she will be there on the road in her wheelchair. She will have her shotguns and she will not move."

“We are willing to sacrifice our lives."

And apparently anybody elses' who oppose them. Nice.

Try this sometime with a few of your middle-aged, non-aboriginal friends. You're upset about, say... your municipal taxes... just threaten to shoot the mayor of your city.

Then sit back and see how long it takes for the local SWAT team to show up at your house... and drop you like a crazy ex-girlfriend.

So my question is... when will the RCMP confiscate the firearms of people who are threatening to shoot other citizens?

No wonder Law School is so expensive...

...there's that operation to remove any last vestige of a conscience...

The Iranian-Canadian accused of a terrorist-bomb conspiracy plans to fight to get “every scrap” of secret evidence amassed against him – a strategy that could delay his trial for years, and possibly even scuttle the case.

This will include details about informants, covert wiretaps, and foreign spy sources used in the probe.

Ol' Bill Shakespeare had it right... "the first thing we do, is hang all the lawyers."

The Crown last year dropped a case against a man whom the government considered a dangerous terrorist after CSIS complained a judge’s order for greater disclosure might compromise its informants and blow the lid off some foreign partnerships.

Whaddaya wanna bet... one of these jihadis actually sets off a bomb and turns a hundred urban socialists into multi-coloured rice-pudding, say... in front of Osgoode Law School... all these militant legal truth-seekers have a miraculous change of heart.

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THE COMPASSIONATE, INTELLECTUAL LEFT REPLIES:

"forwarded to CSIS so they can keep tabs on a political radical with violent online fantasies"

Oh no... Liberal Supporter's siccing secret agents on me.

Whatever will I do?

How exactly does targeting farmers...

...duck hunters & skeet shooters... reduce urban handgun crime?

-- WINNIPEG -- "The general consensus among sporting shooters is that the kinds of guns we are using are not the kinds of guns to commit crimes," Mosscrop said. "No one is going to take a $17,000 Perazzi shotgun and hold up a 7-Eleven."

That's funny... it was just the other day...

...I was thinking... if only we could give Nigerians a six-fold increase in internet bandwidth... that'd fix everything.

Yup... and I do mean everything.

If you build it...

...they will swarm...

The city should refrain from camping prohibitions until housing, support and health care are in place, according to the umbrella group, comprising Committee to End Homelessness, Harm Reduction Victoria, the Society of Living Intravenous Drug Users and the Victoria Coalition Against Poverty.

Yeah... "camping".

I guess that's how the the "Society of Living Intravenous Drug Users" kick back after a long day at the orifice.

Feelin' hot, hot, hot

One of three Ontario men charged in connection with an alleged terrorism plot has been linked to the Pakistan Taliban, according to a news report.

The unconfirmed report comes from The Daily Times newspaper in Pakistan, which did not reveal its source nor indicate which of the three accused it believes had direct contact with the Tehrik-e-Taliban.

I say we toss in Elizabeth May and a...

...couple of flashbangs...

Suffice it to say, we hope the police are able to find a way to talk Mr. Lee down from the brink, because it’s unlikely that the Discovery Channel will agree to these … varied …demands.

For those interested in a look into the mind of a disturbed individual, read on.

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UPDATE: Yeah, that's our biggest problem...

...those nutjobs from the Tea Party... wait...

He said he was inspired by “Ishmael,” a novel by environmentalist Daniel Quinn and by former vice-president Al Gore's documentary "An Inconvenient Truth."

Oh, that's awkward.

I wonder how the CBC will manage to spin this one.

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UPDATE: The moral of the story

Never, ever... bring a tinfoil hat to a gunfight.

Another Jane Taber tongue-bath...

...must be Wednesday.

Krauthammer's Law - via Maggie's Farm

To understand the workings of American politics, you have to understand this fundamental law: Conservatives think liberals are stupid. Liberals think conservatives are evil.

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FROM THE COMMENTS:

PJ O'Rourke has it as "the right says you shouldn't make fun of cripples. The left says you can't."

Now, if the Liberals were back in power...

...these folks would already be running around their own little corner of Scarberia... soliciting funds for the "natural governing party"...

More than three dozen Tamil migrants have been segregated from 492 others who arrived by boat for questioning by police on suspicion of being linked to the Tamil Tigers, or other inadmissible groups, including war criminals.

Police said several men were moved to a segregation unit because they were “threatening or intimidating” other migrants.

Surprise, surprise.

You ever wonder why the Tamils did that about-face after initially heading for Australia?

Australia is now in negotiations with East Timor, New Zealand and the United Nations about setting up a “regional processing centre” where intercepted ships will be taken.

“Arriving by boat would just be a ticket back to the regional processing centre,” warned Gillard.

Oh yeah... that "processing centre"? I'm not sure it's as comfy as the Canadian accommodations.

Right now, refugee applicants are processed on a remote Australian island called Christmas Island, where they’re held until their cases are heard.

Yup... good ol' Australia... the people Iggy referred to in rather unflattering terms.

Right — Canada, not Australia. We don’t need to learn nuthin from nobody. Because nobody knows nuthin better’n we know it. So just tell them Australians to shut their yaps, thank-yew-very-much, and we’ll just run our own country. Hear?

Seriously. That’s how international scholars talk. Especially when they’ve been on a bus all summer

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RELATED: In other Australia news

Northern Territory police say that more than 70 men escaped early Wednesday by breaking through two electrified fences.

The break-out follows disturbances at the center in Darwin Saturday and Sunday involving a group of Indonesians accused of smuggling asylum seekers into Australian waters.

Immigration featured prominently in Australia's recent election. Both major parties promised tough action to curb the flow of asylum seekers arriving by sea.

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LAST WORD: More pavilions at folkfest...
Watch out for that damnable "North York Beef"...

The Canadian Food Inspection Agency is warning people not to eat raw beef purchased from a North York store that may contain E. Coli.

CFIA officials say the alert applies to all cuts of raw beef, including, but not limited to, tenderloin, beef chunks and ground beef, sold Aug. 6 from Kabul Farms retail store at 40 Beverley Hills Dr.

The cuts were wrapped at the store and may not have a label with a packing date, lot code or best before date, officials warned.

Kabul Farms... we cut through all that silly red tape for you.

Hmmm... you wanna be Prime Minister...

...I'm not so sure trotting out the one-time flower child and infamous, ex-pantiless-Stones groupie extraordinaire... is the wisest move here...

His famous mother, Margaret, meanwhile, is poised to release a new biography in the fall, explaining how her mental illness (she suffers from bipolar disorder) affected decisions around her marriage, her career and her relationships with some very famous men.

Of course... it's not like dear old dad was such a prize either...

"I met Trudeau back around 1970 at Exhibition Stadium in Toronto. I was a cub scout attending a jamboree and PET was the guest speaker."

"Afterwards a group of us were chosen to go backstage and meet the PM. We were waiting behind a curtain. He didn't know we were there."

"He called the crowd of cubs and scouts, "the Hitler youth of tomorrow", and spit on the ground."

Oh Canada.