APPARENTLY 'ZERO PERCENT CONTAINMENT' IS SHORTHAND FOR 'LESBIANS RULE'...

My God. I checked, it's a real headline. A real story. Someone actually wrote that, and thought to themselves, ‘nailed it.’ 

  --  “The stereotype of lesbians always being prepared for an emergency — everyone knows a queer woman who doesn’t leave the house without a Leatherman multitool and carabiners — holds true for Los Angeles’ first openly LGBTQ+ Fire Chief Kristin Crowley who is overseeing the firefighters trying to stop the Palisades fire.
"  --  

Is that the stereotype of lesbians? I had no clue. You learn something new every day!

Seems not everyone is celebrating this amazing news.

RESISTANCE IS NOT FUTILE...

-- "A Northern Ontario mayor who was fined for voting against flying a Pride flag at his town hall says he will not be bullied into paying the $5,000 penalty.   Nor will Mayor Harold McQuaker be taking LGBTQ training as he has been ordered to by the Ontario Human Rights Commission.   And, McQuaker, insisted he won’t cave to demands that he must host a Drag Time story hour in the local library, either." --

Let the OHRC know what you think of them. 

And there's this...

-- "Traditional rules were abandoned as then Chief of the Defence Staff Gen. Wayne Eyre dumped all restrictions on hair length, allowed for coloured hair, face tattoos and long nails as well as gender-neutral uniforms. But in July the military announced a partial reversal on the new policy, admitting the changes had gone too far." --

General Twink strikes back...

-- "Eyre claimed those questioning diversity policies were aiding Russian President Vladimir Putin." --

♪ "JUST LIKE ROMEO AND JULIET" ♪

-- "The retired hockey pro who played junior hockey in the QMJHL, recently had moved out after the relationship ended, but had remained ‘somewhat involved’ with his former lover, investigators said." --

I CAN'T EVEN GET A FAMILY DOCTOR

MORE SPECIAL RULES FOR SPECIAL PEOPLE...

-- "A gay employee of Global Affairs Canada posted in China, who travelled to the U.S. for the birth of his child through surrogacy, will have those expenses covered after a tribunal ruling." --

THE RACIST SHITHOLE WHERE I LIVE - A CONTINUING SERIES

AND WHADDAYA MEAN... I CAN'T BEAT MY WIFE?

-- "For many prospective homebuyers in Canada, obtaining a mortgage can be a challenge due to elevated home prices. But for members of Canada’s Muslim community, those looking to purchase a home may be faced with an additional barrier – securing a mortgage that aligns with their faith." --

'QUEERS AGAINST ISRAELI APARTHEID' UNAVAILABLE FOR COMMENT

-- "Anti-Israel activists silent on the beheading of a gay man in Palestinian Authority territory." --

APPARENTLY CAN'T KEEP THEIR PAWS OFF EACH OTHER

-- "The number of lab-confirmed cases of Monkeypox in Ontario tripled in the past two weeks TO 101, with 85 of them in Toronto and all of them in men." --

I'm sure that's just a coincidence.

MAP PORN

BLACK LIVES MATTER WAS UNAVAILABLE FOR COMMENT:

"I did not have sex..."

"...with that woman"... Part Deux...

Stern replied, “Raise your right hand; you’ve never had a lesbian affair.”

If she just owned up, in today's political climate, it'd bring more votes than it cost, but now that's off the table.

COMPARE AND CONTRAST:

Clinton was aware that Hillary was bisexual and he didn’t care. "He said Hillary had eaten more pussy than he had."

IT'S NOT A BUG, IT'S A FEATURE:

The angry feminists were out in force. There were more signs talking about “PUSSY” than on the Reeperbahn.

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LAST WORD: I'm with Joe Rogan...

"If Hillary Clinton was my own mom, I’d be like, 'Mom! You can’t be president. You can’t stand up fast.'"

Going down like a two dollar hooker

Authorities in Chicago on Wednesday approved felony criminal charges against "Empire" actor Jussie Smollett, hours after he was "officially classified as a suspect in a criminal investigation" for allegedly "filing a false police report" in connection with his Jan. 29 attack claims.

Who you gonna believe... me, or your own damn eyes?

Chicago’s local CBS affiliate has obtained video of the two brothers tied to the alleged staged attack on Empire actor Justice Smollett purchasing ski masks from a store one day prior to the purported assault.

**********

UPDATE: So much for Gay Tupac...

The lesson here is... never go "full Milli-Vanilli."

“Jussie Smollet is under arrest and in custody of detectives,” the department’s chief communications officers Anthony Guglielmi said on Twitter Thursday morning.

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UPDATE2: Dropped quicker than a crazy ex-girlfriend...

Jussie Smollett has been removed from the final two episodes of the latest season of "Empire."

On Thursday, Warner Bros.-owned TNT pulled an episode of "Drop the Mic" that featured Smollett.

Jussie just got "Roseanne Barred."

Once again, the lunatic left goes...

..."A Bridge Too Far"...**********

RELATED: ♫ "I fought the law and the law won" ♫

Empire actor Jussie Smollett is refusing to be questioned by the Chicago Police Department and has hired the services of a crisis management firm amid reports he staged an attack on himself last month.

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UPDATE: Whitewashing the Politburo

As the Jussie Smollett "attack" is looking more and more like a class-4 felony hoax, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) quietly deleted a tweet sympathetic to the Empire actor who claimed that he was assaulted, in what Pelosi uncritically described as a "racist, homophobic attack." It had over 100,000 "likes" and 21,000 retweets.

2020 Democratic contenders Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA) and Corey Booker (D-NJ) have yet to delete their tweets.

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LAST WORD: A database of fake hate crimes

That's Showbiz!

Just not sure self-identifying as "Gay Tupac" is the most effective way to score points within "the community."

On the other hand, Ellen Page & Steven Colbert sure ate it up...

“It never happened. CPD is wasting hundreds of man hours to solve a Grindr date gone bad. The 'victim' is refusing all forms of cooperation, his 'ear witness' isn’t cooperating, the Hollywood press is running with a non-existent narrative."

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UPDATE: This is Quiznos country!

"If it had been a club sandwich, he could have used it as a weapon."

$450,000 taxpayer "Safety Break!"

Remember... never a penis and a vagina shall meet... oh wait... Bruce McArthur was a gay serial killer...

"Olivia Nuamah, executive director of Pride Toronto said the talks will be a "deep dive" into the experiences of safety and security of the LGBTQ community across Canada. She said the second step will be a research and analysis process to come up with solutions."

How about "promiscuous drug fuelled-sex with strangers isn't always a good idea?" Oh, you can have that one for free, Olivia.

Or we could use that money to hire half a dozen cops for a year...

A 46-year-old man, Harry Rajkumar, who is known to police, is wanted for attempted murder, assault with a weapon and aggravated assault in a violent attack on a 37-year-old woman and her 16-year-old daughter at a Scarborough highrise Friday evening.

Hmmm... wonder who that could be?

It gets better... by which I mean worse...

Feds paid Facebook $40,000 for ad showing how to cook chicken nuggets.

I got nuthin'.

Big City Booga-Booga...

♫ "Gonna wash that gay psycho-sexual sadist
right outta my hair" ♫...

The couple whose home has been a focal point of the Bruce McArthur investigation held a ceremony Saturday to bless and renew the property.

Don't ask, don't tell, don't care.

**********

RELATED: Those darned university professors...

...wait a minute...

A shooting in the York University Heights area on Tuesday night has left a man believed to be in his 40s dead.

The fatal shooting took place in the area of Keele Street and Canarctic Drive at around 9:30 p.m.

This is the city’s 82nd homicide of 2018.

The Jane/Finch Hunters & Anglers Association was apparently unavailable for comment.

**********

RELATED2: Scarborough, Scarborough...

...that sounds so familiar...

A teenager has died of his injuries after a shooting in Scarborough Wednesday afternoon near Sheppard Avenue East and Birchmount Road around 1:30 p.m.

Homicide #83.

Fifty Shades of Gay

Not once in my life, have I ever encountered a man who said, "I really, really wish my wife had a penis"...

A biological male who identifies as a woman asked the Massachusetts Attorney General’s office to force a female-oriented spa on the South Shore to give him a bikini wax and other beauty services under the state’s gender identity law.

The complainant also detailed his troubles with other spas in Braintree and Quincy, including one that “said I was not really a woman because I had a penis.”

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WHERE DOES THE MADNESS END?

The video, originally uploaded to BBC Radio Manchester’s Facebook page, shows young children at Bewsey Lodge Primary School being instructed to write love letters from “Prince Henry” to his manservant, “Thomas”, with the teacher instructing her pupils: “You’re going to tell Thomas why it’s a brilliant idea for him to marry you.”

Ask the Experts

A psychological assessment of Bruce McArthur following a 2003 conviction for assault concluded that the risk of him committing more violent acts was “very minimal,” according to documents made public by a judge Wednesday.

Compare and contrast...

McArthur is now in custody awaiting trial on eight charges of first-degree murder in relation to deaths and disappearances in Toronto’s gay village.

Two words... catch & release.

**********

RELATED: Predator on the loose...

Police say that a 24-year-old man was mistakenly released from custody after a court appearance in Scarborough earlier this week.

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LAST WORD: Catch, release and repeat

Police investigated Capital Gazette shooting suspect Jarrod Ramos in 2013, but concluded he was no threat, while the newspaper didn’t want to pursue a legal case against him for fear of putting “a stick in a beehive," a police report released Friday said.

Not all Heroes wear Capes

Wonder if they've got tiny... "Jaws of Life of the Party?"

German firefighters are being trained to rescue men who have sex toy emergencies. Apparently, for the firefighters, it’s become a tonne of Teutonic trouble.

The new training is teaching them to cut off penis rings or to extract toys from, er, hard to reach places. The new initiative was launched after a slew of calls from kinkos in chaos.

Critical Socio-Medical breakthrough...

...in study of sexually transmitted diseases...As always, the real gold is in the comments...

"How could that not be a crime? Is stabbing you with a dirty needle different from stabbing you with a dirty dick?"

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RELATED: The Lardass Chronicles

PETA activist thumbs nose at world...

...throws self under raging bulls at Pamplona... or something like that.

Just put the words "global warming" in your suicide note and people won't notice you're irretrievably batshit insane.

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RELATED: From the comments...

Warm winters are global warming. Cold winters are also global warming. Don't even get me started on how global warming causes average winters.

Some days, the witches burn themselves

Several pride organizations chimed in to say that they, too, had considered banning drag queens over concerns that they make a mockery of the notion of gender fluidity, but ultimately decided to keep the "offensive" and "marginalizing" performers out of a sense of inclusion.

And now we travel to the University of Tennessee at Knoxville...

The class, titled “Butt Stuff 2.0: The Pegging,” is one of among nearly 30 workshops and events taking place over the weeklong festival.

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RELATED: The generation who will grow up...

...to normalize pedophilia and the Breakfast McJoint.

"We don' need no steenkin' badges"

“Marching won’t contribute towards solving these issues; they are beyond the reach of symbolic gestures.”

You mean... like a troop of thousands of naked people?