Showing posts with label oh baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label oh baby. Show all posts

23 May 2020

And the poor kid ends up being...

...scarred for life...insert alt text hereThe only competition here is, "Who's more screwed up, Mom or Dad?"
A new reality series is sparking controversy with its promise to 'skip the dating and go straight to the baby-making'.

Fox's Labour of Love sees 15 men competing to impregnate a 41-year-old woman they have never met.
Please tell me this is a put-on.

02 June 2019

Po-tay-to, po-tah-to

insert alt text here
The New York Times opted to use phrases that appear to dehumanize the unborn, referring to an unborn child’s heartbeat as “embryonic pulsing."
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FROM THE COMMENTS:
"ABC correspondent Steve Osunsami described supporters of Louisiana’s pro-life law as those who 'believe that a fetal heartbeat can be detected'."

ie... people with stethoscopes?

28 November 2018

Simply nature's way...

...of thinning the herd...insert alt text here
OTTAWA - Health Canada says consuming human placenta could lead to bacterial or viral infections in mothers or their babies. The risk is higher if someone ingests the placenta of another person.
Imagine my surprise. They'll shun a rib-eye... but scarf down human placenta.

It gets better... by which I mean worse...
Home birth advocates say a lotus birth eases the baby’s transition into the world, but doctors worry about the risks of infection from keeping a newborn attached to what is essentially dead tissue.

20 February 2018

11 February 2018

09 October 2015

My guess is, if Mike Harris...

...had set aside $70,000,000 a year to give golf club memberships to one-armed Ontario men, he would have been tarred & feathered.oh baby
"Ontario will add $50 million a year to the $20 million it already spends on 'assisted reproduction.'"
Kathleen Wynne, despite running horrific deficits and apparently unconcerned about the possible appearance of a conflict of interest, will now use additional tens of millions of taxpayer dollars annually to subsidise in-vitro fertilisation.

Obviously, one of the significant demographics interested in IVF will be women suffering from so-called “social infertility” - that is, women who reject the increasingly obsolete and icky idea of male-female procreation... (which would've absolutely, positively in no way influenced Ontario's first gay Premier).

But, hey... let's look at the numbers.

IVF currently accounts for about 2% of live births in Ontario. With only a 30% success rate and an estimated 4000 women taking advantage of the Premier's largesse, this would result in 1200 births annually at a additional cost of $58,000 per Corningware baby.

For the religious and ethically sensitive among us, note that multiple eggs are removed for each procedure and extra fertilised embryos are routinely destroyed if not used.

Now, call me a middle aged, non-disabled, caucasian, Christian male... but surely there are better ways to serve the greater good?

How about 70 million dollars a year to find families for the 47,885 Canadian children in foster care, 62 per cent of whom were aged 14 and under. (source 2011 Census)

That's 12 choices apiece for each of those 4000 Ontario women. Of course, that'll never happen.

Sorry kids, Kathleen Wynne has 1200 hypothetical babies per year who are apparently more important than you.

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POSTSCRIPT: If you build it...

...they will come, er... suck you dry...

Note that the province of Quebec which pioneered IVF in Canada, is shutting down after demand and costs soared much higher than expected.

Surprise, surprise.

20 December 2014

It's all truly relative, I guess

luftangrepp:

Since klingon sex is basically violent wrestling, I wonder if the klingons don’t have BDSM but like the opposite. Klingons gathering in secrecy in dark cellars to engage in sweet, gentle loving, to the scorn of fellow klingons.

"How can you do that?" the other klingons ask. "You don’t even draw blood? Not a single furniture breaking? It doesn’t seem… natural".

"What is this… cuddle, you speak of?"

Fifty Shades of QamuSHa’

18 January 2012

22 September 2011

17 August 2011

Dear Mr Lennon

The thing is... the more I "imagine all the people"... the scarier this whole ride gets...
Multnomah County Circuit Judge Eric Bergstrom told Peterson on Monday that "the reality is you love your children and had absolutely no intent to harm your child."
Seriously... that's the reality? That's the message the court wants to send here?

And, yeah... sounds like moms has some serious issues as well.

(link fixed)

30 June 2011

Remember back... you were growing up...

...people used to club each other over the head... with babies?

-- Yeah... me neither....
A woman who allegedly used her little girl “as a weapon” has been located, Toronto Police said Wednesday.

The woman, who is about 30 years old, was on the TTC’s Dundas streetcar Friday when a brawl broke out, Const. Wendy Drummond said.

“There was an verbal altercation with another passenger, and the suspect swung the baby (who she was now holding) at the victim.”

13 June 2011

Well, there's recycling... and then there's...

Mrs Ottosson, who runs a lighting business in Nottingham, said: "My daughter and I are both very rational people and we both think ‘it’s just a womb’."

"She needs it more than me. I’ve had two daughters so it’s served me well."
Hmmm... this sounds, to me anyway, like a "mountain to Mohammed" kinda deal.

Wouldn't it be easier & safer for everybody concerned... if mom volunteered to be a surrogate instead of a donor?

12 April 2011

Pride & Prejudice... it ain't just a book

C'mon now, bleaching a baby... you have got to be shittin' me...
"If we really want to control the spread of the skin-bleaching virus, we first have to admit that there's an epidemic of color prejudice in our society," said Carolyn Cooper, a professor of literary and cultural studies at the University of the West Indies, writing in The Jamaica Gleaner newspaper.
I got nuthin'.

02 March 2011

Soft food and diapers all around

Which, indeed... begs the question... what kind of straight-laced, totalitarian monster would choose to deny poverty-stricken septuagenarian women their maternal due?
-- INDIA -- The world's oldest mother is dying just 18 months after giving birth at the age of 70. Rajo Devi Lohan says she is too weak to recover from complications after her IVF pregnancy.
But wait... there's more...
News about her condition came as it emerged that a 66-year-old has become the oldest woman in the world to have triplets.
In what alternative science-fiction universe could this be considered even a remotely reasonable notion?

How is this not child-abuse?

11 December 2010

Turn your back for just a second...

-- MCKEES ROCKS, Pa. -- Authorities say a 2-year-old girl spent 15 minutes stuck inside a toy crane vending machine in a Pittsburgh-area mall.

Moon Run Fire Chief Paul Kashmer tells WPXI-TV that the girl didn't seem upset by the ordeal Wednesday night in the food court at the Mall of Robinson, in Robinson Township. Kashmer says firefighters arrived to find "the cutest little girl in a pink outfit sucking her binky inside with the other toys."

The girl apparently climbed up the chute into which the coin-operated crane drops prizes. Kashmer used a tool to pry open a door on the machine to reach the girl.

The vending company hasn't been identified.

29 October 2010

The Turkey Baster Chronicles

Hey, I know you... you're that messed-up chick whose mom needs a man... like a fish needs a bicycle...
"A study from the Commission on Parenthood's Future found children conceived by sperm donation are more likely to suffer from isolation and depression, and are roughly twice as likely as biological children to struggle with substance abuse."
Hmmm... there's a couple of possibilities that jump out here.

Either donor sperm is somehow inherently substandard... or people who jump through these kind of hoops to have children make crappier parents.

Who exactly said there is a human right to have children anyway?

Does creating test-tube progeny, or purchasing discarded baby girls from China solve... or simply facilitate... social injustice?

And why are untold sums of money being spent on these type of things, when Canadian children are languishing in the "care system"... unable to find permanent loving homes?

I don't get it.

11 August 2010

07 August 2010

Trust me, you do not wanna see the bill...

...for the champagne, silk sheets and smoked oysters...
-- MONTREAL -- The Canadian government has been spending tens of thousands of dollars each year to provide condoms to inmates in federal prisons.

According to documents obtained under Access to Information laws, during the 2008-2009 and 2009-2010 fiscal years, the 50 federal prisons in Canada have spent nearly $120,000 to allow the 14,000 inmates to have protected sex.

Nearly half of the money is devoted to prisons in Ontario.

12 July 2010

12 February 2010

Some days I just feel old

Talk about deja-vu...
"One time I saw David wearing earphones while typing on his laptop. The screen was divided into four windows: one for Word, one for MSN messenger, and two different YouTube videos (one was a song that he had playing through the headphones, and the other was 'How to build a paper hang glider'.")

"And the dog was sleeping on his lap."
Earlier this year, after establishing a few ground rules, we allowed 13 year-old Neophyte to open up a Facebook account. I was astonished at how quickly he was buried under a pile of friend requests.

It seems today's teens & tweens have absolutely no reluctance to embrace all that technology has to offer. It's a little bit of a shock... this is a kid whose favourite baby toy was a curly piece of telephone cord.

And it isn't just computers... Techno-boy been converting his favourite YouTube videos to little operettas that constantly throb & hum on his Ipod-o-sauraus... a smallish, infernal contraption that for all intents & purposes, might as well be surgically implanted in the base of his skull.

My latest discovery is that, apparently, we are the Luddite parents in his circle of friends... he's now campaigning for a cellphone.

So much for the simple days of a boy and his dog.

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FROM THE COMMENTS:
"I don't consider myself a Luddite, just a guy who has seen it all before; being able to read a blog while camping in Algonquin Park doesn't wow me. It makes me sad."

"Of course, I was up until 3 am this morning googling how to use a certain brush technique for Paint Shop Pro, downloading some pics from Project Gutenberg to merge for some "art", while listening to first the Sabres game, then a ripped CD that I was loading onto my iPod."
Our modern world.