HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.**********
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario 2: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario 3: Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario 4: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.
Scenario 5: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario 6: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario 7: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
FROM THE COMMENTS: Game on...
This is too fun.*
Scenario 8: Billy gets involved in an underground domestic terrorist movement while in high school
1957: Billy is caught and does hard time.
2007: Billy becomes a professor of education and mentors the next Democratic President.
3 comments:
This is too fun.
Scenario 8: Billy gets involved in an underground domestic terrorist movement while in high school
1957: Billy is caught and does hard time.
2007: Billy becomes a professor of education and mentors the next Democratic President.
Scenario 9: Billy gets lost out of bounds while on a school ski trip. He is rescued after several days but loses a few digits to frostbite.
1957: Billy is grateful, grows up and goes to college, has a successful career, and volunteers for a rescue operation in his spare time.
2007: Billy sues the rescue team, which then ceases operations. Several deaths occur each year in the area due to the availability of rescue services. Billy spends all his free money on drugs and becomes an addict.
Scenario 10: Billy makes a snide comment about a female classmate's religious headgear.
1957: Female classmate slaps Billy. Billy learns to be more courteous in the future.
2007: Billy is dragged in front of a Human Rights commission. He is investigated for neo-Nazi connections, forced to recant all his religious views, charged six figures in legal fees, and fails high school because he has to attend endless hearings. Billy ends up homeless. Female classmate commits suicide in guilt. Richard Warman collects a fat paycheck.
And, the best for last...
Scenario 11: Canadian Cesspool goes to school
1957: After getting the crap kicked out of him various times, he straightens out, goes on to run a successful computer business, and stays out of other people's business.
2007: His bile unchallenged, he morphs into a vile and pathetic hate-mongerer. He mocks the parents of dead soldiers, stalks female bloggers, and trolls incessantly under various pseudonyms. He is outed. He fades into obscurity kicking and screaming...
It does seem as though the inmates are running the asylum, how can the rest of us escape?
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i hear new zealand is pretty nice.
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