21 July 2009

If this isn't the final, raspy death knell...

...of the fuzzy-bunny socialist "Red Star"... then I truly do fear for my country...

This story is so pathetically Canadian and would never have been written except by someone living in a micromanaged, socialist country like this one.

"Oh, whatever will we do?? We are paralyzed by indecision and helplessness until all-knowing Big Brother tells us what to do with our kitty."

Before the ascent of Big Government, people actually used that thing between their ears to make personal decisions. Why didn't they just bury the cat and call it a day?

Submitted by mallory5 at 9:02 AM Tuesday, July 21 2009

"Put kitty in the fridge & invite Warren Kinsella over for supper."


Neo Conservative said...

[part text follows]

Strike thwarts kitty's final resting spot

Demise of beloved feline sets family searching for rules and regulations governing backyard burial
Jul 21, 2009 04:30 AM
Catherine Mulroney
Special to the Star

It may not be the biggest issue of the strike that has Toronto in a stranglehold, but it sure has been the most important one for our family.

Familiar with the results of the dispute between CUPE and the city – the mounting garbage, families without daycare, the emptied pools and docked ferries – all we needed was a simple, if somewhat unique, question answered by someone at city hall.

How deep do you have to go to bury a pet in your backyard?

After the eldest of our three cats died last week, my husband called our vet to find out how to deal with the remains. I was thrilled when he reported backyard burial was an option.

I hadn't even considered the idea, assuming it would be against city bylaws. Immediately seized with the notion that a corner of our garden would be forever Snickers, I began planning. But when my husband the gravedigger asked for specifics, we realized we needed guidance.

That is where we ran into trouble. Who could tell us, mid-strike, what we needed to know?

Normally, I would call the city for something like this. In my distressed state, however, I figured attempting to get that kind of information out of a city hall wrestling with much bigger problems was a waste of my grieving time.

I picked up the phone to call the vet back, but a sob escaped my lips, so my daughter gently took the receiver out of my hand and placed the call herself.

"We just have to make sure she's six feet under," Molly informed me. Although it was one of my all-time favourite television shows, I greeted the cited measurement with skepticism. We may be on a first-name basis with the neighbourhood raccoons, but not even their nightly scavenging would require that degree of protection.

Catherine Mulroney is a Toronto freelance writer.

-- no, i'm sorry... she most decidedly is not. --


jckirlan said...

Reminds me of the summer that French civil servants went on strike during a heat wave. Many people died and the populace blamed the government for not giving into th civil servants' demands because the popullace didn't know what to do on their own to mitigate the rising tempuartures. They needed to be told by the government not to use the stoves, or to take cold showers etc.

langmann said...

A while ago I was walking our dog beside one of Ontario's great lakes. Within a daydream I barely managed to pull the dog away from performing one of his favorite past-times - rolling on a dead duck.

While contemplating mortality, I was approached by a family of three, father mother, and their kid who wanted to pet my as of yet still unscented dog. It was then that the woman noticed the dead carcass and asked me in almost desperation, "What should we do?"

I had no real idea what she meant. "What do you mean?"

"What should we do about the dead duck? Should we call someone?"

I could see the poor animal control officer now, summoned to the deserted middle of nowhere lake to pull the dead duck into a plastic garbage bag to be slung mummified for eternity on one of Ontario's garbage piles.

"I suppose there is some number," I replied and then politely excused myself and left them to contemplate the dead animal.

Later when I came back that way, the family was gone. The duck was still there. I pushed his carcass into the water so the dog didn't roll on it. There are a million different ways nature deals with rotting protein and fat, my dog wasn't going to be one of those ways.

Its true. Some people need government. Other people, like the 30,000 mennonites who are able to produce a comparitively high standard of living off of one of the world's most forbidding deserts with only an ingrained sense of personal responsibility and without government subsidies and taxation - do not.

Frances said...

Perhaps our lady has a neighbour who is always complaining to bylaw services or the Toronto equivalent whenever anyone contravines even the most obscure city laws by the littlest bit. If so, you can see she would want to get it right. And don't forget the raccoons.

Alberta Girl said...

I have a facebook friend who was bemoaning the conservative governments wildlife plan because a coyote had dared come into the middle of the city and kill a marmot on her front lawn.

She never mentioned the fact that there is a River Valley and numerous ravines that run hither and fro across the city.

The loss of common sense is mind boggling.

Anonymous said...

I once 'buried' a dead pet rodent in the public waste bin located right outside the pet store where we had bought it.

Neo Conservative said...

apparently there's now a sizable part of the populace who can no longer think for themselves.

the inevitable result of ever-increasing reliance on the nanny-state.


Rural and Right said...

The red star is pathetic to even post a story like this ... but it is toronto so it doesnt surprise me one bit.

My advice for dead animal burial; Dig a hole in the side of the shit pile about 2 feet deep and insert dead animal or animal parts to prevent coyotes and the farm dogs from digging it up.

Neo Conservative said...

i'm thinkin', you can't figure this one out on your own... you're too stupid to own pets anyway.


Anonymous said...

Put kitty in the fridge & invite Warren Kinsella over for supper.

Pissedoff said...

How bloody dumb and stupid Canadians are becoming, yet they point the finger at other countries. Get your own house in order before commenting on others

Aviator said...

The simple solution to the disposal of a dead cat is as follows:

Place cat in cardboard box, gift wrap nicely, leave on seat of unlocked car. Within 30 minutes the problem will have simply disappeared (and be someone else's).

Philanthropist said...

A good Canadian compromise would be to bury half the kitty and cremate the other half, I'm surprised she didn't think of that.....