26 March 2008

They're not really Jihadis...

They're just good ol' boys like you and me.
-- BRAMPTON, ONT. -- Call it the double-double defence: Would dangerous jihadists take a break from their winter training camp to warm up inside a Tim Hortons?
Yup... sounds like a pretty typical bunch of hosers - doing what any red-blooded Canadian lads would be doing in their spare time.

Well, you know... except for the bits about attacking Parliament, beheading the PM and detonating a massive truck bomb.

But hey, nobody's perfect.


UPDATE: Red Star hops on defense bandwagon

Apparently, Toronto's pinkest paper... overlooking such geniuses as Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr. and Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme... is buying into the "dumber than a bag of hammers" defense strategy...
"Now we know where the evidence for that spectacular allegation came from – a conversation in a car during a 10-hour drive back to Toronto from the Northern Ontario settlement of Opasatika where the government claims (implausibly to anyone who has ever been to the tiny community) the alleged plotters hoped to establish a jihadist training camp."

"The suspects seem unsure as to just who the Prime Minister is that they are apparently conspiring to behead. One thinks it's "Paul um what's his name – Paul loser (former prime minister Paul Martin). Another is sure (correctly as it turns out) that Harper is the man."

"Are these the words of an Al Qaeda fanatic? A rabid Protestant? A management consultant?"

"From the evidence, it is hard to tell."