12 April 2007

Evil Stephen Harper refuses...

To protect Canadians from themselves.

Despite outraged pleas from Liberal Party cognoscenti, Prime Minister Stephen Harper today refused demands to set up a "National Nail Gun Registry".

-- TORONTO -- The number of nail-gun injuries among consumers has spiked dramatically as more and more do-it-yourselfers arm themselves with the powerful tools for home renovation projects.

A report published Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that about 37,000 people sought treatment in U.S. hospital emergency rooms in 2005 after getting shot or shooting themselves in the hands, arms, legs, head or eyes with nail-guns.
Reached at a speaking engagement in Moosefart, Northwest Territories, Opposition Leader Stephane Dion was quick to attack the Harper decision...
"Dis is so unfair... dere is so many heartbreakings, wen dese guns is shooting de peoples."
A spokesman for the Conservative Party replied to Dion's accusations by commenting...
"Our position on home use of power tools remains clear and steadfast... any dufus who nails his hand to a roof truss is probably too stupid to cope in today's increasingly complex world."

"To this end, the Prime Minister has said he would be willing to look into the possibility of creating a network of sheltered workshops for anyone like Mr. Dion... who feels he cannot cope with this sort of esoteric technology."

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JustAnotherJaybird said...

Keep the pointy end out of your head ... seems simple enough.

Neo Conservative said...

no, no, you don't get it... guns, even nail guns, are inherently bad and have minds of their own.

it's why the liberals spent almost 2 billion taxpayer dollars harassing farmers, hunters and gun collectors about rifles.

maybe one day they'll get around to going after criminals with cheap, smuggled handguns... but starting with legal long guns, owned by honest citizens, makes so much more sense... to a leftbot.

surely you see that now?