23 March 2009

"Train 9 from Outer Space"

The death of someone before their time is always tragic... but, I'm sorry Jessica... the "Monster Train" theory... that just ain't gonna cut it...

Perhaps the white roses stand for the two young men rendered helpless as a GO Transit train "sucked" their friend beneath it in spite of their screams and attempts to bang on the cars as the train rumbled westward.

"He said they just got off the GO Train. It was pulling away and Jafari got put onto the tracks by the train somehow."

"Then it just kept going."
Oh my gawd... another remorseless killer.

Is this what passes for journalism nowadays? The anthropomorphic train that eats unsuspecting bystanders? Like the malignant ski hill that rises up and squashes beloved thespian royalty?

I sense a theme here.

It's like the evil handguns that rain down over Toronto's "less advantaged" neighbourhoods... indiscriminately shooting innocent bystanders.

This is a world spinning out of control. We are being victimised by forces beyond our limited understanding.

Well, all that... and evil twisted genius Stephen Harper.



FROM THE COMMENTS: Coulda been a contender...
"Oceans have been eating shoreline for a long time but they’re getting hungrier."


Josephine said...

I have been reading and enjoying your blog for a long time now and I just have to tell you that this entry gave me a great laugh. I've read it three times and I'm still laughing. Thank you!

Neo Conservative said...

jo... always nice to hear from readers... but truly, this one just wrote itself.

as kate from sda is wont to say... "journalists - our moral & intellectual superiors."


kursk said...

The next door neighbour's husband is a fire fighter that attended the scene..he thinks, from the witness reports, that the boy may have tried to touch the train as it left the station and was knocked off balance under the wheels.

Apparently both the boys legs were severed below the knees, but he remained conscious all the way to the hospital where he subsequently died.

I believe they will call this as 'death by misadventure'..a moment of lapsed judgment can end so often in tragedy..

Neo Conservative said...

"kursk says... from the witness reports"

well, k... that's a little disconcerting.

journalist jessica reported, and i'm quoting verbatim, that the devil train actually ... "'sucked' their friend beneath it".

i guess "teenage kid screws around... kills self" isn't nearly as gripping a narrative.

i'm actually surprised ol' jess didn't try to work in a "heroes" angle somewhere.

regardless... methinks there's a lesson in there somewhere.


RW said...

Don't larf.

The world really is spinning out of control.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Neo Conservative said...

"nonny-mouse says... 'tasteless dead kid stuff'"

okay... let's remember that this is about the absolute pap that passes for journalism these days. that's the whole point of this post.

let's also note that somebody's kid, however pointlessly, died here.

-- deleted --


Anonymous said...

I am really sorry the kid is dead. I am a parent - anyone with children will know what I just said. His friends want us to believe some fairy tale because, hey, everyone in their lives so far has believed whatever they dreamed up. What is sad and degrading is the Globe expecting us to believe this cack. The Globe and its kind are doomed.

Neo Conservative said...

"anon says... am really sorry the kid is dead."

yup... me too. it's a horrible blow to his family and friends.

but you know what is also a tragedy? the continued and very public erosion of personal responsibility in this country.

more so, because it actually contributes to further terrible consequences...

"if your kid gets loaded and kills people, or even just himself... while driving a two ton missile... that ain't on society... that's squarely on party boy."

"and no... you don't get to call him a hero."

but maybe, just maybe... the takeaway here might be, that some other kid learns that actions have consequences... before it's too late.

no thanks, of course, to jessica leeder.


Anonymous said...

Clearly a candidate for the Darwin Awards. This is how a species evolves. You do something "stupid", nature or fate play their hand. Too bad the media can't call it what it is.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who sees the quotation marks in the offending article?

The story begins with the alleged perspective of the kids, that their friend was "sucked" beneath the train. Hence the quotation marks around "sucked" -- foreshadowing a statement from a parent recounting a conversation with one of the kids: "He said the train sucked him away."
So that's the quoted point of view from that side.
But the article also reports that police suggested "the possibility of death by misadventure." Or as the journalist herself then spells out, Translation: the kids might have been horsing around.

You could argue with the order in which the different perspectives, as voiced in quotes, are presented in the article. But most readers will have no trouble reaching a conclusion with the article written as is.

Neo Conservative said...

well, nonny... punctuation aside... looks like the "devil train" is officially off the hook...

"Williamson's friend Brad Johnston told The Toronto Sun that after a night of partying he, Williamson and a 16-year-old friend were arriving at Clarkson at about 12:20 p.m., when they decided to play a game they had often enjoyed previously."

"They hopped back onto the train and grabbed outside handles and took a ride. Williamson stayed on a little longer than usual but he slipped."

"'By the time he slipped, it was going pretty fast,' Johnston said. 'It was just too fast. He kept doing somersaults and it (the train) kept hitting him. He went to go to grab for me, I got that close... and the next wheel took him.'"


Anonymous said...

"Horsing around" just about covers it then, eh?

Neo Conservative said...

important to remember that, every time you scoop up more "horseplay" tickets... you're increasing your chances of winning the "organ donor" lottery.

the real point here is that, whatever the facts... from a journalistic point of view... this story should have started, "once upon a time..."


OMMAG said...

The journalistic tools include a large helping anthropomorphic descriptives.

My favorite is the much loved "SUV" that plays the role of malevolent beast in many a tale spun in the MSM.

OMMAG said...

Just found another chestnut...!

From SDA

"Oceans have been eating shoreline for a long time but they’re getting hungrier" .... Kelly Shiers of the Chronicle Herald on the Maldives and global warmingness.

Neo Conservative said...

"ommag says... 'Oceans have been eating shoreline for a long time but they’re getting hungrier'"

whoa... that's definitely a contender.