In other "poor Somali fisherman" news...

(CBSNews) -- Updated 9:57 a.m. ET -- The four Americans aboard a yacht hijacked by pirates off the coast of Somalia are dead.

CBS News national security correspondent David Martin reports that gunshots aboard the yacht were heard, and the warship took action, dispatching forces to board the Quest.

How about we start to speak their language?

"Bartender, give me a Somali Pirate."

"How do you make that?"

"Just a couple of shots and a quick splash."

**********

RELATED: If you pay it...

...they will come...

Piracy has plagued the shipping industry off East Africa for years, but the violence used during the attacks - and the money demanded in ransoms - have increased in recent months. Pirates now hold some 30 ships and more than 660 hostages.

The average ransom now paid to pirates is in the $5 million range, a huge leap from only three or four years ago when it was in the hundreds of thousands of dollars.

One ransom paid last year was just shy of $10 million.

How do you say...

...totally & irrevocably disconnected from reality... in Spanish?

-- CIUDAD JUAREZ, Mexico -- A shoot-em-up video game set in the border town of Ciudad Juarez has angered local officials... Chihuahua state legislators said Sunday they have asked federal authorities to ban "Call of Juarez: The Cartel," which is based on drug cartel shootouts in Ciudad Juarez.

Ricardo Boone Salmon, a congressman for Chihuahua state, where Ciudad Juarez is located, said the state legislature unanimously approved a request this week asking the federal Interior Department to ban the game.

Yeah, absolutely, senor... I can see how banning video games would be right there at the top of your list.

More than 100 women were abused and murdered before their bodies were dumped in Ciudad Juarez's desert between 1993 and 2003. Many of the victims were factory workers.

I got nuthin'.

You really wanna see the Pyramids, huh?

Just remember... as wonderful as it is, to perhaps see the ass-end of this particular Oligarchy... democracy may not be the only thing they're thirsting for...

"More details have emerged of Lara Logan's terrifying ordeal at the hands of a frenzied mob." --

And hey... you've got daughters thinking of taking time off school to see the world... you might wanna stop reading right here.

According to one source, reported in The Sunday Times newspaper, "sensitive parts" of her body were covered in red marks that were originally thought to have been bite marks.

It has also been revealed that she was stripped, punched and slapped by the crowd, which was labelling her a spy and chanting 'Israeli' and 'Jew' as they beat her.

And medical sources have revealed that marks on her body were consistent with being whipped and beaten with the makeshift poles that were used to fly flags during the demonstration.

Something to keep in mind the next time the McGuinty government decides to re-open that whole shariah law thing...

-- Toronto -- Seeking to end months of debate, Premier Dalton McGuinty now says "there will be no sharia law in Ontario" -- an announcement that should quell a growing public-relations crisis concerning the use of Islamic law.

Following widespread condemnation of a plan that would formally allow the tenets of sharia to be used in resolving family disputes, the Premier said he'll make the boundaries between church and state clearer by banning faith-based arbitrations.

Yup, just like Premier McSlippery's plan to improve education... it was that close...

"Within days, if not hours, Liberal MPPs had constituents calling their offices to complain that the province wanted to explain anal sex to eight-year-olds."

Friends don't let friends vote Liberal.

**********

UPDATE: Look who showed up yet again...

...it's the same despicable asshole who pissed all over a dead Canadian soldier's mother...

And hey, that guy reminds everybody...

...of Mr Spock's father on anti-depressants... how's he doing? --

What may matter most is that after weeks of Conservative television attack ads warning voters that the once-itinerant Liberal Leader “didn’t come back for you,” the share of voters who approve of Mr. Ignatieff’s leadership has slumped to 13.6 percent, slightly behind “none of the above.”

NDP Leader Jack Layton’s is more popular, with the approval of 14.3 per cent of voters, compared to Mr. Harper’s comparatively robust 34.5 per cent.

The Nanos Leadership Index score, an amalgam of questions on trust, competence and vision, has Mr. Ignatieff at 36.9, down from 45.1 in December. Stephane Dion was at the same level during the 2008 coalition crisis, when he was at his nadir. This is slough of despond territory. In contrast, Stephen Harper scores 98.9, up from 84.9.

That ad showing the Prime Minister alone in his office, working late into the night with a cheap pen, seems to have worked.

You mean... as opposed to the guy who keeps going on those bus tours... to convince everybody he's just a regular Joe Sixpack?

**********

READER JEREMY WRITES:"But wait... there's more..."

"Michael Ignatieff is on a tour right now called the 'Working Families' tour. Aside from the fact that every single event takes place between 8:30 AM and 3:30 PM, the very time that most 'working families' are, well - working, they are also having a reception tonight in St. Johns.".

"As you can see it is open to Laurier Club members only. To be a Laurier Club member, all you need to do is donate $1100 / year to the Liberal Party of Canada (only $550 if you're under 35!)"

"I wonder how many 'working families' can afford, in the middle of a recession, to hand over $1100 (per person) to the Liberal Party of Canada? To meet Sir Michael Ignatieff himself?"

It's an open secret that ranks up there...

...with Hollywood's most egregious casting blunders... the man who makes Heath Ledger's crazy, scary Joker look like Beaver Cleaver at the breakfast table...

And his motley crew of homicidal thugs are even scarier yet...

At least some Libyan units have disgraced themselves, firing indiscriminately into unarmed crowds of civilian protesters.

Metropolitan Toronto farmers, hunters &...

...yes, skeet shooters... dodge yet another bullet...

-- TORONTO -- Police have charged a 19-year-old man with first-degree murder in the shooting death of a man in a Toronto apartment building earlier this month.

Aasif Patel surrendered to police Saturday and is scheduled to appear in court today. Police are still searching for 19-year-old Wariskhan Pathan.

Meanwhile, in other "violent crime is down" news...

A 16-year-old girl with an undisclosed disability was clinging to life Sunday, a day after armed men burst into her family’s Scarborough home.

Hang on a second... didn't Michael Ignatieff & Jack Layton say the 2 billion dollar Farmer Bob Rifle Registry was gonna eliminate urban gun crime?

What went wrong, boys?

**********

RELATED: Another one bites the dust

A man wanted for the shooting murder of a Toronto man outside a Vaughan banquet hall was arrested in Ottawa early Monday.

York police said they also arrested a woman for allegedly being an accessory after the fact in connection with the Jan. 21 slaying of Arash Elijah Bakhtaryani, 27.

Mohand Mohamed, 31, is to appear in Newmarket court Tuesday charged with first-degree murder. Police also charged Maryam Torabipour, 26, of Richmond Hill, with being an accessory after the fact.

Please tell me he wasn't high...

...at the time of this horrible accident...

-- MONTREAL -- Quebec’s auto insurance protection agency has been ordered to pay $5,000 to a Quebec man so that he can grow and smoke marijuana in his home. That means paying $5,000 for a hydroponic greenhouse in the man’s home, as well as covering water, electricity, plants and soil expenses.

The tribunal judges said this case was “special.”

The man used to smoke marijuana illegally, which led to several arrests and criminal charges. He has since received a license from Health Canada to grow and smoke marijuana for personal use.

I guess they really didn't get...

...the unit... on bedside manner...

-- TORONTO -- A postgraduate medical resident and a family physician were arrested Friday for allegedly drugging and sexually assaulting a 23-year-old woman at a downtown hotel.

The victim met with the two men at a hotel bar on Queen St. W. and University Ave. Sunday, police said. The men said they would provide her with career advice.

**********

UPDATE: Take two roofies and...

...call me in the morning...

"When the bail hearing finally got underway at Old City Hall at 2:35 p.m. — 4 1/2 hours after proceedings began in two case-crowded courtrooms — a Crown attorney successfully sought an adjournment based on police advising her that 'another complainant' had contacted police."

Time to call in the D-Boys

-- Feb. 19 (Bloomberg) -- Somali pirates hijacked a yacht with four U.S. passengers off the coast of Oman, U.S. Central Command said.

U.S. Central Command is monitoring the situation, according to a spokesperson for the organization in Tampa, Florida, who declined to be identified.

**********

RELATED: "Ding-dong... Spetsnaz calling"

**********

THANK YOU COMMENT MODERATION:

"Once again, you've shown yourself to any readers, what a total bufoon(sic) you are."

Funny, how... every time I get a barrage of these anonymous trolls... I start to hear banjo music.

Maybe we should take up a collection to buy Nonny a dictionary.

Hail to the...

...Redistributor-in-Chief...

By aligning himself closely with unions, Obama is siding with a core segment of the Democratic Party base - but one that has chafed in recent weeks as the president has sought to rebuild his image among centrist voters by reaching out to business leaders.

Republicans see a chance to show that they're willing to make the tough choices to cut spending and to challenge the power of public-sector unions, which are the largest element of the labor movement and regularly raise tens of millions of dollars for Democratic campaigns.

Yup... battle lines are being drawn.

Never a long gun registry around...

...when you really, really need one...

Police say Toronto residents Akins Fortune, 22, and Kibrom Tesfay, 18, are facing several charges, including attempted murder and aggravated assault.

Fortune is also charged with disarming a peace officer and obstructing a peace officer.

Meanwhile, an arrest warrant has been issued for a third suspect, 28-year-old Shaun Davis of Toronto.

Davis is black, 5-foot-8, 140 pounds and has black hair. Police say he is considered to be armed and dangerous.

Because, as everybody knows... taking rifles & shoguns away from farmers, hunters and skeet shooters... will completely eliminate urban handgun crime.

**********

RELATED: In other Hogtown news

Investigators arrested a suspect Friday after the 20-year-old victim, Okene Thompson, died of his injuries in hospital Wednesday.

Police say Toronto resident Kirk Vernal is charged with first-degree murder.

It's a bright, sunny day...

...the birds are birding... and I'm doing a little tractor shopping.

Actually been mulling over picking up a used backhoe... but after further consideration and consultation with a farmer friend... a tractor (and its many attachments) just seems much more useful.

Shouldn't have any trouble picking up a used 3ph backhoe somewhere down the road. And an auger and a bush-hog and... well, you get the idea.

Anyway... things will be a little slow around 'The Halls today'. Funny, though... hasn't stopped the usual suspect from leaving a half-dozen silly-ass internet threats.

Ah, well... the price of popularity. Later.

**********

UPDATE: Good news... bad news...

Okay... I'm back. Had my tractor expert buddy along for the ride and we looked at a 60 horse with a loader and a cab. Not bad shape but 9000 hours on the meter.

That's the bad news. I know I can pick up the same tractor with half the hours (but no cab)... for $1300 cheaper. My resident expert sees the cab as a bug... not a feature... so that would be the way I'd lean for this particular model.

The good news is the guy also had an old backhoe... which, upon enquiry, he's willing to unload. It's a little sloppy in places, ball joints, pins & bushings in the hoe itself... but the motor was completely rebuilt last year... and it has a new hydraulic pump. Comes in at $3000 more than the tractor and I'm probably shelling out another $3000 in repairs to bring it up to spec... but it oughta be in really nice shape after that.
Anyway... I get the backhoe and I need to use implements, I'll either buy a cheaper tractor without a loader... or swap backhoe time for tractor time with a farmer friend.

So... thought about it some... and when I got home left a message for the guy. I'm just waiting to hear back.

Oh yeah... seems my very "special" friend Nonny left another nonsensical slew of netgoober while I was gone. It's all about how inconsequential, and indeed... how fucked up I am.

Seems I still have a more or less permanent lease on that big irony-deprived airspace between Nonny's ears. He apparently doesn't get that if I'm simply dogshit... and his entire waking life revolves around yipping & nipping at my heels... well, you do the math.

Sad.

With friends like this...

...who needs Republicans?

- Another guest – who insisted Mr. Obama has “always been pretty centrist” – helpfully reminded that Mr. Obama “did go to church before he was a candidate for the presidency.” - That church, of course, was presided over by the racist, anti-American, hate-spewing Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

Man... that's some "Religion of Peace"

I'd sure hate to see these guys when they're really pissed...

The Bahrain capital of Manama was rocked by sporadic clashes, hours after riot police attacked a makeshift encampment of pro-reform protesters in the centre of the city, killing at least four and injuring dozens of others.

An Al Jazeera correspondent, who cannot be named for security reasons, said on Thursday that "clashes were no longer limited to one place...they are now spread out in different parts of the city".

He said that the hospitals are full of injured people after last night's police raid on the protesters.

And it looks like the fire is spreading...

Several hundred supporters of Muammar Gaddafi, the country's longtime leader, have also reportedly gathered in the capital on Thursday to counter online calls for anti-government protests.

Their action comes amid reports that at least 14 people have been killed in clashes between pro and anti-government protesters since Wednesday. Libya has been tightly controlled for over 40 years by Gaddafi, who is now Africa's longest-serving leader.

From the folks who brought you...

...lead-painted baby toys...

According to senior federal officials, an attack that first became public at Treasury Board earlier this month also hit elsewhere in the federal public service, including Finance. An investigation into the attack is focused on Chinese IP addresses.

The officials also told The Globe and Mail that this isn’t the first time Ottawa has had to deal with this type of attack.

Of course, Pinko Central sticks to it's policy of multi-cultural rainbows & unicorn farts...

According to a CBC News report of the attack, hackers took control of computers in the offices of senior government executives in an attempt to steal passwords and access data. The report noted that the source of the attack does not necessarily mean that it is linked to the Chinese government.

"Flee, flee... run away!!!"

The Obama Whitehouse has yet another Monty Python moment...

"Our position on Iran and the right of way is well known and I would refer you on that specifically to the State Department. I don't have anything for you on the ship in the Suez." --

Ah, yes... you can smell the leadership.

Stand by for $2.00 a litre gasoline.

Victim of crime gets $500,000 compens...

...wait a minute...

-- EDMONTON -- An inmate working at an Alberta prison farm is suing the Attorney-General of Canada for $500,000 after alleging he was badly injured by an "aggressive and dangerous" cow.

Johnson alleges he was carrying out his farm duties when he was "aggressed" by the cow."

Just spitballin' here... but I'm guessing Mr Johnson is forgetting that he didn't end up in the crowbar motel... because of his caring and compassionate personality.

**********

RELATED: Ask Dalton McSlippery

Hospitals are within Mr. McGuinty’s jurisdiction, as is the Ontario economy. He doesn’t have a stellar record on either, so better to hint he’d have done a more impressive job if only Ottawa hadn’t decided to expand some prisons.

Mr. McGuinty spends half his budget on healthcare and can’t seem to make it work; reducing prison space isn’t going to alter that fact much one way or the other.

"Stop... or I'll yell stop again"

“To be responsible for the deaths of 52 people, serve four-and-a-half years and be released and to say that means he has paid his debt to society just beggars belief,” Mr. Foulkes told the Guardian.

This must be some of the gun nuts...

...that Toronto ex-Mayor David Miller warned us about...

"It’s been an absolute incredible experience," he said of the Canada Winter Games. "There aren’t enough words to describe how phenomenal this experience has been."

[more]

I wonder what will be the first thing...

...those poor oppressed Egyptians are gonna do with their newfound... oh... my... gawd...

-- (CBSNews) -- On Friday, Feb. 11, the day Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak stepped down, CBS chief foreign correspondent Lara Logan was covering the jubilation in Tahrir Square for a "60 Minutes" story when she and her team and their security were surrounded by a dangerous element amidst the celebration. It was a mob of more than 200 people whipped into frenzy.

In the crush of the mob, she was separated from her crew. She was surrounded and suffered a brutal and sustained sexual assault and beating before being saved by a group of women and an estimated 20 Egyptian soldiers.

Meanwhile... a little closer to home...

-- TORONTO -- Two teenagers are being sought for the execution-style slaying of a 23-year-old man at a Scarborough apartment building last Friday.

Lorenzo Martinez was found just before 8 p.m. riddled with bullets in the lobby of a lowrise on Stevenvale Dr., southeast of Markham Rd. and Lawrence Ave. Ave. E.

“Now that we’ve identified two suspects, it’s only a matter of time until they’re caught,” Const. Tony Vella said Tuesday.

Aasif Patel and Wariskhan Pathan, both 19, are wanted for first-degree murder.

Somebody wanna remind me again... why it's called the "Religion of Peace?"

Things Go Better With...

...well, you know...

There was any real justice in the world...

...they'd toss this freak in with Clifford Olson... and weld the door shut...

-- TORONTO -- A North York woman who shopped for a CD while her baby was dying of agonizing burns to 40% of his tiny body was found guilty Monday of manslaughter.

Miguel Fernandes died of horrific injuries that were inflicted on Sept. 11, 2007.

The third-degree “immersion burns” he had suffered were so horrific that the first layer of skin on parts of the back of his body fell off.

Manslaughter?

Unbelievable.

No, no... wait... it gets better...

"It is a curious country, this one, that you can be convicted of killing your child and still you get to walk out of the courtroom, free as a bird, la-dee-dah."

"That’s what happened on Monday at Ontario Superior Court in Toronto."

WAG THE DOG: Part 4634

Another fuzzy-bunny CBC poll goes horribly wrong...

"Do you agree with the government's plan to reduce overall immigration?"

So... it's like a lateral transfer...

...within the company...

While CTV always defended Fleischmann’s party work by saying he was a volunteer on a leave of absence, a blogger published e-mails showing Fleischmann using his work e-mail address to discuss how the Liberals should plan their TV advertising strategy.

Dirty politicians... let them reap...

...as they sow...

-- NOVA SCOTIA -- Kevin Lacey, Atlantic spokesman for the Canadian Taxpayers Federation, said anyone convicted of misusing taxpayers' money should lose their pensions.

"They shouldn't benefit from the taxpayer if they're convicted of abusing taxpayers' dollars," Lacey said.

The federation calculated Hurlburt's pension at about $57,000, MacKinnon's at $47,000, and Wilson's at $42,000. Zinck will qualify for a pension of a bit more than $21,000 in June. MLAs can collect a full pension at 55 if they're no longer in office.

An idea whose time has come.

And Winston Churchill wept

It's truly over... over there.

Money for nuthin'... cheques for free

It's like those Nigerian email scams... if something sounds too good to be true... it usually is.

Just another reason...

...to vote Conservative...

"When a citizen comes to deal with the government, particularly to exercise their right to vote, I think it's entirely reasonable that we say we need to confirm who you are and a facial identification is a reasonable way of doing that."

**********

THE COMPASSIONATE INTELLECTUAL LEFT REPLIES:

"It sucks when people hide their identities."
Posted by Anonymous to halls of macadamia at 10:21 AM, February 14, 2011

Oh, nonny... we've had this conversation dozens of times before, haven't we? But you keep on coming back... under your various manufactured personalities.

I do love how you attempt to castigate me... in your anonymous comments... about blogging under a pseudonym. Do I really need to explain, once again, the difference between pseudonymous & anonymous?

See nonnycakes... I have been here, every day, for over four years. You have my email & these comments. You know exactly where to find me... and you do... DAILY.
You send me threats... about firebombing my house and harming my family.

So tell me, where exactly do I find your cowardly, dishonest little know-nothing ass in the millions of other vexatious, ANONYMOUS trolls?

Oh yeah... that'd be nowhere.

You get that, right?

What scary knuckle-dragging racist said...

"The fact is, Canada has an enviable culture based on Judeo-Christian values - not Muslim values - with British and French rule of law and traditions and that's why it's better than all of the other places in the world."

"We are heading down a dangerous path if we allow the idea that sharia law has a place in Canada. It does not. It is completely incompatible with the idea and reality of Canada."

""If you want to live under sharia law, go back to the hellhole country you came from, or go to another hellhole country that lives under sharia law."

Meet Mahfooz Kanwar... professor emeritus of sociology at Mount Royal University in Calgary.

(via dr roy)

**********

RELATED: Of course, not everybody agrees

Dear Globe & Mail... I anxiously await...

...your followup article about plastic strap-on penises...

One of her biggest-selling novels, Frost Fair, is set in 1814 and tells the story of Gideon Frost, a printer and covert part-time prostitute who carries on a secret affair with a wealthy ruffian named Joshua Redfern.

What women want, huh?

Sure doesn't sound like any of the women I know.

**********

QOTW: Shit... now there's coffee all over everything

"Old and Frail" news articles that will never be written:

"Newspaper ink linked to rectal cancer"

**********

THANK YOU COMMENT MODERATION:

Wow... this one really set poor Nonny spinning. Unfortunately, despite the half dozen frothing, incoherent rants... I was unable to determine which issue really yanked his crank. Gay romance novels... plastic sex toys... the institution of marriage... or just women in general?

I guess some things will have to remain a mystery.

Never a long gun registry around...

...when you really need one...

A man in his 20s became Toronto's 10th murder victim of the year — and the second to die en route to hospital in one day — after being shot in a Scarborough apartment building.

Toronto Police responding to a shooting call found the victim with no signs of life in the lobby of 70 Stevenvale Dr., Scarborough, at 7:52 p.m.

He was rushed to Sunnybrook hospital from the Lawrence Ave. E.-Markham Rd. building, but police Saturday said he died in the ambulance.

I'm sure the Toronto Police Homicide squad is busy rounding up... farmers, hunters & skeet shooters... as we speak.

**********

UPDATE: Murder victim #10 id'd

Toronto's 10th homicide victim of the year has been identified as 23-year-old Lorenzo Martinez.

**********

RELATED: So you're out at 3:00am...

...enjoying a cool, refreshing beverage. What could possibly go wrong?

A man in his early 20s was shot in the head early Sunday morning at a suspected basement drinking club behind a Weston Rd. strip mall.

Five witnesses later volunteered information to investigators, who are seeking to interview a “person of interest,” described only as a young black man wearing dark clothing.

**********

UPDATE2: Murder victim #9 id'd

It's getting hard to keep up...

Around 1:30 a.m. Friday, Gregory Taylor, 21, was gunned down outside an apartment building near Black Creek and Trethewey Drs. in the old City of York.

Police believe Taylor, acquitted late last year of assault, extortion and kidnapping charges laid in 2009, and known as “Menace” on the streets, was lured out to meet his fate.

**********

LAST WORD: Who needs guns?

Yeah... stability...

...that's one word...

“I think this is something the international media has never paid much attention to," Davidson said. “But on the Arab street, this has been well known. With the Mubaraks, we’re talking about one of the richest families in the world. They control a very large empire of wealth that has been very carefully hoarded.”

The average Egyptian has an income of about $6,000 a year, with almost 20 percent earning the equivalent of less than a dollar a day.

**********

RELATED: Algeria takes a shot

The success of those uprisings is fueling hope for change in Algeria, although many in this conflict-scarred nation fear any prospect of violence after living through a brutal Islamist insurgency in the 1990s that left an estimated 200,000 dead.

I suppose Orwell was right...

...some animals are more equal than others...

Under a province-wide policy, Ontario school boards must be more inclusive and accommodate different faiths during the school day. In one Waterloo, Ont. school, this means a room set aside with holy books and prayer mats for Muslims.

Given the complaints that have greeted the presence of Christmas trees and disbursement of bibles in other schools, is there a contradiction in making special allowances for some faiths and not others?

Thank you Dalton McGuinty.

Scratch a socialist...

...find a frothing hypocrite...

Mr. Moore has built an entire career - a vast personal industry - upon denouncing capitalism, the profit motive and “greedy” corporations. He is exhibiting the very behavior he claims to abhor.

His lawsuit reveals that, despite his public image as a champion of the working class and the common man, he is a cynical, money-grubbing charlatan who worships the almighty buck.

And please, please, please... don't get me started on Saint Algore.

"The average US household consumes 10,656 kilowatt-hours of electricity. In 2006, the Gores wolfed down nearly 221,000 kWh."

Sucking AND blowing... that's why we...

...call him McSlippery...

In the Spring of 2010, Ontario’s Progressive Conservatives called for a moratorium on the find-farm projects until an independent study on the environmental and health effects of the farms could be completed.

On Friday, the Ontario Liberals quietly mothballed the project, citing insufficient evidence on how they could effect people’s health.

**********

RELATED: Whoa, dude... that blows

"The Altamont wind farm in California kills about 9000 birds every year, including about a hundred golden eagles. One wind farm."

A little unclear on the concept

Not to bum you out, Abdullah... but trading one oligarchy for another... still not democracy...

In a statement read out on state television at midday on Friday, the military announced that it would lift a 30-year-old emergency law but only "as soon as the current circumstances end". --

Don't misread me, still a pretty good first step... but, seriously... you might not wanna break out the champagne & party hats just yet.

Never a long gun registry around...

...when you really need one...

Police have identified a Toronto man fatally wounded after a shooting near Coronation Park early Friday.

Police were called to 83 Clearview Heights, near Black Creek and Tretheway Drs., after shots rang out around 2 a.m.

Gregory Taylor, 21, was found dead in the back of a car.

Remember... taking rifles & shotguns off farmers, hunters & skeet shooters will immediately eliminate urban handgun crime.

'Cos, ya know... Iggy & Jacko say so.

**********

RELATED: Puh-tay-toe, po-tah-to

An Ottawa-based think tank has concluded that Statistics Canada’s evidence that crime rates are falling is false.

“Serious violent crime is increasing,” contrary to Statistics Canada’s claims, asserts Scott Newark.

Bell’s vision is an Internet...

"...that’s more like your cellphone. Treat every new Internet application as a 'feature' that incurs a new monthly fee. Charge a 'termination fee' if you get sick of how things are going."

"Above all, make everything consumers do cost more. It’s familiar territory for any cellphone owner, and it’s not a happy territory for consumers or the online economy."

Just something to think about...

...while you're signing that massive Miller-engineered municipal property tax cheque...

"We have a revenue problem and a spending problem," the city's chief financial officer Cam Weldon said.

Does anybody know if there's an actual...

...Arabic word for 'neutral'?

-- CAIRO -- The Egyptian military has secretly detained hundreds and possibly thousands of suspected government opponents since mass protests against President Hosni Mubarak began, and at least some of these detainees have been tortured.

The military has claimed to be neutral, merely keeping anti-Mubarak protesters and loyalists apart. But human rights campaigners say this is clearly no longer the case.

**********

BREAKING: "Tanks for the memories"

Egypt's military announced on national television that it has stepped in to “safeguard the country” on Thursday and assured protesters that President Hosni Mubarak will meet their demands in the strongest indication yet that Egypt's longtime leader has lost power.

The statement was labelled “communique number 1,” a phrasing that suggests a military coup.

Hmmm... that's a funny kind of democracy.

**********

LAST WORD: Hope, Change and...

...sorry... my bad...

The revelation of Saudi concerns sheds new light on America's apparent diplomatic paralysis and lays bare the biggest rift between the nations since the oil price shock of 1973.

The White House declined to comment on the reports Wednesday, saying that the administration did not divulge what other leaders said to Obama.

FROM THE CBC COMMENTS:

"For once I agree with Quebec. Canada needs to stop being such a doormat. Millions of people come here because our Canada is superior to the third world...not the other way around."

**********

RELATED: No word yet from Iggy...

...on Rastafarian contention that marijuana is a sacrement...

"The kirpan is not a weapon," Ignatieff told reporters in Montreal. "It's a religious symbol and we have to respect it. I was sorry to hear about the Bloc's proposals on the issue."

In my favourite alternate sci-fi universe...

...Kathy Shaidle is Supreme Overlord of Canada...

"America’s North hasn’t stopped mocking the South since Appomattox. If Canada was a real country, we’d make ten movies a year about Quebec hicks who murder Anglos in highly imaginative and yet primitive ways."

[another hit on the bong]

RELATED: In other "alt-universe" news

"New RCMP uniform coming down the pipe. When he joins the musical ride he'll be riding side saddle."

Perhaps he had to rush home, to pick up...

...his OHIP card...

Toronto Police are investigating an alleged shooting that happened outside a King West nightclub on Wednesday morning.

Witnesses say one man was hit in the leg but there was no victim to be found when police arrived.

Ooh, ooh... I have a clue...

Shortly after the shooting, a nearby black Honda Civic sped off and hit a cab near Adelaide St. W. and Bathurst St. — two blocks northwest of the crime

**********

RELATED: Another urban shooting...

...must be Wednesday...

-- TORONTO, On. -- A man was rushed to hospital after gunfire rang out on John Garland Boulevard, in the Martin Grove Road and Rexdale Boulevard area.

The shooting happened around 9:30 p.m., Wednesday.

Shades of Sheriff Iggy... it's true. There's never a long gun registry around... when you really need it.

Me: “Hello, I’m not a criminal so I have to report to you that I’ve moved.”

Constable on duty: “Huh?”

Me: “I legally own a rifle so I have to report to you that I’ve moved.”

Constable on duty: “Who said you have to do this?”

Me: “Your boss Chief Jack Ewatsky and Prime Minister Chretien.”

Constable on duty: “Well I,… uh are you sure?”

That scary, mindless Sarah Pal...

...wait a minute...
**********

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"The Dippers better pray to Marx that no one from the NDP sticks a Conservative with a dart."

Meanwhile, in other "violent imagery" news...

It's funny, you never hear him talk about...

...redistributing any of his own wealth...

-- WASHINGTON -- The plan, which would take effect in 2014, could increase payroll taxes by as much as $100 billion over a decade, according to a person involved in its construction.

Behold the audacity of socialism.

From the same shameless folks...

... that brought us the sponsorship scandal...

Mr. Falcon's campaign manager Norman Stowe said of the aborted incentive: “We would prefer that everybody was active because they were genuinely interested and didn't need a particular inducement.”

Inducement?

Is that what we're calling it these days?

**********

RELATED: Obviously, Dalton McSlippery...

...thinks that you're a moron...

"This strategy is so brilliant, I wish I’d had thought of it: invent your opponent’s platform, release it, and then attack it as if it was real."

I kept hearing on CTV news about...

...those killer Canucks... but there were never any details about the five men who allegedly beat teenager Jordan Morrison to death... wait a minute...

Dmytro Aref Yev and Bouzid Redha, both 21, will remain behind bars pending trial, the country’s justice department told QMI Agency. Both men face 30 years in prison if convicted of first-degree murder.

Three other Canadians are each being held on $27,000 bond. Zakaria Kara, 21, Boutoita Abderrain, 19, and Badr Elmanoizy, 21, are all from Montreal and have yet to be charged.

And five on one? That's not a fight, that's a slaughter.

What could have possibly provoked something like this?

The report says Morrison was killed after he came to the defence of a Canadian woman when another Canadian spat on her in a disco.

Yeah... those damned Canadians.

It's good enough for Romania...

...I say we start holding television weather-shamans to the same exacting standard...

-- BUCHAREST -- A month after Romanian authorities began taxing them for their trade, the country's soothsayers and fortune tellers are cursing a new bill that threatens fines or even prison if their predictions don't come true.

What I'm Reading

Despite all the press he's getting these days in Egypt... Mohamed ElBaradei couldn't find his arsehole with two hands and a flashlight...Do yourself a favour... turn off the idiot box, find a comfortable chair and drink this one in.

Here's a teaser... Iraq was on the cusp of possessing a nuclear weapon... in 1990.

The first thing we do...

...is hang all the lawyers...

-- OTTAWA -- Canada’s criminal lawyers are denouncing a bill that would impose tougher sentences, toughen parole conditions and even create new offences for people who commit sex crimes against children.

And where do the Opposition Parties stand?

While the Bloc and NDP don’t support the bill in whole, the Liberals say they agree with the intent of the bill but may look for minor amendments to improve clarity.

Just another reason to vote Conservative.

Don't be too terribly surprised to see...

...the ADSCAM party start furiously pumping the brakes...

The government plans to introduce a motion seeking the unanimous consent of the House to table a new bill eliminating accelerated parole for non-violent criminals. That motion will seek verbal consent to have the new bill proceed through all stages in an expedited fashion.

Under the current system, people convicted of fraud and other non-violent crimes have been eligible for day parole after serving one-sixth of their sentences.

**********

RELATED: How shit really works

"The jury took just 50 minutes to convict 46-year-old Muzzammil "Mo" Hassan of second-degree murder for the gruesome stabbing death of his wife, Aasiya."

Michael Vick...

...got off easy...

If only they could all be Toronto

Shining beacon of Canadian Journalism brands Calgary "unlivable"...
But, wait a minute... maybe Toronto isn't gonna be Toronto very much longer...

Figures produced during Ford’s campaign estimated that some $20-million could be saved across the city if all of the city’s residential and commercial garbage collection was outsourced. The C.D. Howe Institute has put the savings at closer to $49-million.

“This is good for the city,” Coun. Doug Ford, the mayor’s brother, said Sunday. “This will ensure we never have a garbage strike again.”

But Ford vowed this is only the beginning.

“We’re going to be outsourcing everything that is not nailed down.”

Well, that sure sounds like a good thing. Maybe Mayor Ford could use the savings to hire a few more cops...

Toronto resident Pierre Oliver Ellis, 23, is wanted for first-degree murder in the 2007 shooting death of a 16-year-old boy in Scarborough, police say.

Ellis is accused of killing Keyon Campbell on Dec. 2, 2007. It was the city's 80th murder of the year.

Yeah... let's talk "livable", shall we?

**********

THE COMPASSIONATE, INTELLECTUAL LEFT REPLIES:

You show yourself as the biggest fool in the blogosphere you are really just a raving drunk.
Posted by Anonymous to halls of macadamia at 12:27 AM, February 08, 2011

"Morons like you will line up and kiss the arse of some fat fuck who whispers sweet nothings in your ear. In 4 years, I'm gonna drop by, and laugh at you about this really, really hard."
Posted by Anonymous to halls of macadamia at 3:10 PM, February 07, 2011

Hmmm... going by the other dozen frothing diatribes you've sent me today, Nonny... don't you mean 4 minutes?

I feel like I just...

...got clubbed over the head by... "American Idol meets Plan 9 from Outer Space"...I mean, seriously... wtf was that?

No wonder the jihadis think we're in league with Shaitan. If there was ever a paean to Western frivolity & excess... the Superbowl halftime show was it. And I'm not just talking about that pre-game "whoring for crackers" thing.

Screechy cyborgs descend from heaven and impersonate children's toys.

Way to sully one of the few remaining fields of endeavor where money, connections & "who's your daddy"... don't get you the spotlight.

And, c'mon... how high do you have to be to screw up your country's national anthem?

Next up... cranky babies

Britain's social problems are slowly being eliminated... one by one...
(via reader simeon)

Repressive, medieval theocracy...

...a little unclear on the concept... democracy, that is...

Litwin said he's almost grateful for the Iranian embassy's intervention because it generated buzz for Iranium the film wouldn't have otherwise received.

“I think I should give them some fine Israeli wine as a gift,” Litwin quipped. Iranium is produced by Canadian-Israeli filmmaker Raphael Shore.

**********

RELATED: Yeah, more shariah law...

...that's exactly what we need...

-- Amsterdam -- The zeal and determination with which the court is pursuing Geert Wilders even in the face of so many opportunities to put a halt to this farce, bespeaks the application of a kind of law that is foreign to western principles of justice.

We should all be alarmed that Shariah law appears to have taken hold in our courtrooms and in the social fabric of western nations against the wishes and unbeknownst to the majority of citizens.

FROM THE COMMENTS

"The lesson learned from this whole incident is quite simple: if hookers could pull dog-sleds, they would deserve more public sympathy."

"Game, set and match."

And...

"I say let the owls fight their own war. America always gets embroiled in these regional wars and they never seem to end well."

Political Correctness....

...it's a killer...

“DOD possessed compelling evidence that Hasan embraced views so extreme that it should have disciplined him or discharged him from the military, but DOD failed to take action against him,” the report said.

At today’s press conference Lieberman noted that an instructor and a colleague had each referred to Hasan as “a ticking time bomb.”

**********

IN OTHER WORDS:

"Political correctness is the new weather: nobody does anything about it. The difference between PC and the weather, however, is (contra global warmists), PC is something we can fix."

"But 'we' won’t."

"OK, I mean you."

Never mind that "Oil" thing...

...I'm way more worried about "Peak Pandering"...

"We can’t wait to see what happens when the United Kingdom’s celebration of the gay community in math, geography and science runs headlong into the United Kingdom’s celebration of the Muslim community in math, geography and science courses."

**********

RELATED: Hey... Peace Moonbeam

You can shove that fuzzy-bunny "gray area" stuff up your patootie.

There is, in fact, a right and a wrong.

**********

LAST WORD: In other "pandering" news

Apparently a Quebec Human Rights Commission felt a similar situation had more to do with racial hatred than with the same technicalities of the law.

The quasi-judicial court has recommended a man from Ivory Coast be awarded $20,000 in compensation for a “racial-profiling” incident that took place in April 2007, despite the fact the laws appear to favour the police officer.

Funny how the big telecoms...

...never offer to reduce the amount I pay for my crappy rural dialup...

The fact that smaller providers could offer unlimited accounts has likely acted as a competitive check on the market and helped keep prices from rising.

Seems like a good thing to me.

Today's D'uh Moment

"Do they want what happened in Tunisia to happen here?" Shafiq said, referring to the revolt in Tunisia that led to the ouster of the nation's longtime strongman in January and served as inspiration for other nations in the region that have seen similar demonstrations.

Another Inconvenient Truth

That fuzzy-bunny Nanny State the left-o-sphere keeps salivating over... it's coming for your kids. --

Remember, if you can't defend the top of the hill, you sure won't be able to defend the bottom.

**********

RELATED: Gotta have rules, right?

"The school district has a rule against bringing weapons to school. But rules are only for Christians, who can be suspended for bringing rosary beads."

CRUSH, KILL, DESTROY!

Just another wonderful, sunny day in the repressive Arab Middle East...

Egyptian authorities shut Al-Jazeera’s office on Sunday, complaining its round-the-clock coverage was slanted toward protesters and could encourage more unrest. The station denounced that closure as an attempt to muzzle open reporting.

Mr. Mubarak’s supporters stormed hotels in Cairo, chasing foreign journalists, Al-Arabiya TV said.

**********

RELATED: Will the dominos fall?

The parallels to Egypt and Tunisia are obvious — Sudan is a notoriously repressive Arab country, ruled by the same strongman for more than 21 years, historically and culturally close to its big brother just down the Nile, Egypt.

Cross your fingers.

A Nation of Riflemen...

...steps up their game...

For the first time in almost 50 years, the U.S. Army wants to replace the standard rifle shouldered by hundreds of thousands of frontline troops around the world.

**********

RELATED: We have the technology

Stand by for breaking news...

...on gravity holding shit down...

"Someone - a few people actually - are dropping homemade bombs into the square from the buildings surrounding it," our online producer said.

Gunshots are also regularly ringing out of the square.

Earlier, witnesses said the military allowed thousands of pro-Mubarak supporters, armed with sticks and knives, to enter the square.

Hmmm... more mindless, homicidal rage in yet another Islamic dictatorship... I'm shocked, I tell you!

**********

RELATED: Mindless homicidal rage...

...authorities idly standing by watching... that sounds so familiar.

Real Court bitchslaps CHRC

The three-judge Superior Court panel ordered the tribunal to hold a new hearing before a different adjudicator, expected to be held in the next six months.

It also dismissed Telfer’s $36,000 penalty, which ended a plan by the complainant’s lawyers to get the money by ordering the sheriff to sell her house.

The Superior Court found nine points in which the tribunal adjudicator failed to provide a fair hearing or made legal errors.

For example, the court said the adjudicator did not give Telfer the opportunity to call a key witness, who would have testified about Saadi’s choice of clothing, “unauthorized intrusions into other people’s desks, and missing files.”

(via ffof)

Or, as the guys down at the Co-op...

...were calling it... "Wednesday"...Meanwhile... back in the Center of the Universe...

"It didn't pan out exactly as forecast but the ongoing challenge for us will be to do the best job we can at trying to describe the risks involved in coming weather systems."

Less than 10 centimetres of the predicted maximum 30 fell on the city by mid-afternoon Wednesday.

Sorry, Peter, Lloyd... any day that I can drive out my 700 foot long driveway without a plow... it ain't Snow-mageddon.

Better luck scaring people next time.

Never a long gun registry around...

...when you really need one...

-- TORONTO -- A man in his 50s has died after a shooting in the Finch Avenue West and Weston Road area.

Paramedics were called to the scene, on Jayzel Drive around 9 p.m. Tuesday, a residential neighbourhood just west of Weston Road.

**********

UPDATE: Murdered man id'd

Toronto Police rushed to the 2400 Finch Ave. W. store in a strip mall near Weston Rd. around 9:15 p.m. Tuesday.

They found Jagtal Singh Kular lying on the ground of the Mann Enterprise and Variety Store with a chest wound, possibly from a shotgun blast.

Kular was pronounced dead at the scene, becoming the city’s seventh murder victim of the year.

The taxpayer-subsidised CBC...

...never afraid... to ask the really important questions.

In other "same planet, different world" news

FROM THE COMMENTS:

-- "I've noticed very few, if any, women jump in front of enraged bulls." --

It's taken five days...

...but McDreamy administration's finally outta the blocks...

An official close to the administration said U.S. officials are in touch with Muslim Brotherhood representatives through interlocutors.

The official said White House leaders have made it clear they understand "that the Muslim Brotherhood is part of the fabric of Egyptian society."

**********

RELATED: In other "Muslim Brotherhood" news

**********

LAST WORD: Yeah... move along folks...

...nothing to see here...

A leading member of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt told the Arabic-language Iranian news network Al-Alam on Monday that he would like to see the Egyptian people prepare for war against Israel, according to the Hebrew-language business newspaper Calcalist.

So CUPE & Jack Layton just wanna...

...reach into that magical government moneybag & make everybody happy...

According to the [CUPE] survey, 76 per cent of respondents support increasing CPP benefits and 51 per cent oppose the current approach federal approach to delay CPP reform in favour of a private pooled pension plan.

NDP Leader Jack Layton has included enhanced CPP benefits among a list of NDP demands for the federal budget in March.

Layton, Layton... that name sounds so familiar...

"Last year, Chow claimed $530,000 in expenses, Layton claimed $629,000."

**********

THE COMPASSIONATE, INTELLECTUAL LEFT RESPONDS:

"May(sic) you should look at the party in power you've got your nose so stuffed up the(sic) asses you better wipe the shit off your nose."
Posted by Anonymous to halls of macadamia at 6:21 PM, February 06, 2011