14 February 2017

Fifty Shades of Dumbstick

London’s firefighters have had to get their bolt cutters out to free 23 amorous men with rings stuck on their manhoods and 102 men and women stuck in handcuffs or chained to the bed in the last five years since the books appeared.

Each call out costs taxpayers at least £326 - a total of £40,750 - and with the next instalment of the erotic trilogy hitting cinemas fire brigades are bracing themselves for more bedroom mishaps.