I'M WITH CHRIS ROCK

"I pray that this event ends global warming, er... the Israeli-Palestine conflict... the same way that Live Aid ended world hunger." -- Well, of course, it's so obvious... why didn't anyone think of this one before... the healing power of comic books...

"The superhero's appearance hasn't been finalized, but he definitely will be a Muslim boy in a wheelchair. An early sketch shows a boy who lost his legs in a landmine accident and later becomes the Silver Scorpion after discovering he has the power to control metal with his mind."

Holy Hamas... if this guy can control metal... maybe he help build a few water treatment plants...

The sea around Gaza is heavily polluted with at least 60 million litres of raw and partially treated sewage being pumped into it every day.

Yeah, I know... I guess that's not as exciting as saving the world, huh?

The Open Hands Initiative was launched last November to respond to Obama's offer to the Muslim world in his inaugural address to “extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.”

Geez... I dunno, Barry. Just spitballin' here... but I'm thinkin', it actually might be more important to... "unclench your mind". 

UPDATE:   In other "comic book" news...

"An event occurred, and under the pretext of that event, two countries were invaded and up to now, hundreds of thousands of people have been killed as a result."

Oh... my... gawd... where was Ironman on September 11, 2001?

A reader writes...

"Meanwhile on this blog NOT ONE WORD is written about the staggering over ONE BILLION spent on the G20."

"You're all fine with that, you see no need to hold our current government feet to the fire."

Nope... not true. There are any number of things that many Conservatives are really unhappy about. Go read Small Dead Animals or Jay Currie... or Kathy Shaidle.

You'll get an earful.

For myself, I'm way less concerned about a one-off deal designed to show off Canada to the G20 and G8 contingents... than, say... the 12 billion dollars that we pound down the black hole of the aboriginal reservation system every single freakin' year... to absolutely no effect, I might add.

Or the fact that the left-leaning factions in this great country are willing to piss away 2 billion taxpayer dollars pretending that making life difficult for perfectly law-abiding farmers, duck hunters and skeet shooters... will in any way, shape or form affect inner-city urban handgun crime.

Whatever happened to "One People, One Law?"

You wanna know what really pisses me off? Warehousing irredeemable scumbags like Clifford Olson or Paul Bernardo for the rest of their natural lives. My Conservative Party would bring back the noose.

In any case, my friend... you really think Stephen Harper was running around choosing fabrics and individual projects for this shindig? You think he personally told the various police forces how to set up security?

I think it's way more complicated than that.

Let's not forget there is a vast, securely entrenched bureaucracy in this country that pulls many of the levers that incinerate our tax dollars.

Don't even get me started on the Senate... a completely partisan payoff for political cronies of the ruling faction. You might as well call it "Bagman U". But hey... which party is actually talking about Senate reform? I'll give you a hint... it doesn't start with "L".

The Conservative Party, like any other political organisation, has it's own problems... but it's certainly disingenuous to equate Jean Charest's "alleged" tampering with the judicial process to money spent on the G20 & G8 summits.

Anyway... in the interest of fairness... please forward me the link to your blog or website and I will post it right here. Why just be an anonymous troll when you can strike a blow for the revolution?

I await your reply.

**********

UPDATE: A reader replies... 27/09/10

Of course, not to supply the link to his blog or website... but to whinge about what a meanie (I've toned down his actual rant) I am.

Gotta say... I should've started moderating comments years ago.

**********

In the meantime, I leave you with the words of the immortal sage O'Rourke...

Most government abuse of power is practiced openly, and much of it is heartily approved by The Washington Post editorial board and other such proponents of the good and the fair.

But any time the government treats one person differently than another because of the group to which that person belongs - whether it's a group of rich, special-interest tax dodgers or a group of impoverished, minority job-seekers - individual equality is lessened and freedom is diminished.

Any time the government gives away goods and services - even if it gives them away to all people equally - individual dependence is increased and freedom is diminished.

Any time the government makes rules about people's behavior when that behavior does not occasion real and provable harm to others - telling you to buckle your seat belt or forbidding you to publish pornography on the Internet - respect for the individual is reduced and freedom is diminished.

Amen.

The public is captivated with the idea...

...of changing their lives in a fundamental way right now. It's inchoate, mostly, this urge, and is demonstrated mostly by threatening to hoard gold, Spam, and bullets on Internet message boards at two AM, or by watching Ice Road Truckers on The History Channel, then falling asleep in your recliner and going to work the next morning.

(via maggie's farm)

He used to give us the old rope-a-dope...

...now he just says "get over it"...

Hmmm... I guess it's a "Liberal" thing

How big do your balls have to be... to walk into a court of law and start quoting the "unwritten rules"...
Of course, we're talking about a guy who is so Gumby-like flexible... he could comfortably spiral from one side of the political spectrum to it's distant & diametrically opposed ass-end.

And now... here comes boring old Bellemare actually dragging out those pesky "written" rules & precedents...

According to the lawyer of former justice minister Marc Bellemare, whose allegations of judge-rigging by Liberal Party fundraisers led to the inquiry, the Premier’s involvement constituted a breach of the confidential process that must be followed in nominating a judge.

“The rules clearly say that the names of the candidates, their resumes and personal information must remain confidential. The information is kept by the co-ordinator of the selection committee,” Jean-François Bertrand said.

Well, slap me with a shovel... what sounds more plausible here?

Yeah, yeah, I know... we're talking about Quebec. I'm not gonna get my hopes up.

**********

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"Apparently Macleans has a cover story that is really making Quebec mad. Says Quebec is the most corrupt province in Canada."

Airbrushing the Politburo...

...it's what the CBC does best...

"I am in touch with the Canadian athletes across all sport and I have to tell you I am so amazed at their professionalism, optimism, attitude," Deacon said.

"They have put the trust in their coaches and their Canadian sports federations and the Commonwealth Games to ensure that we are working on their best behalf."

Hang on a second, Martha... is it the coaches and the sports federations who are cleaning up the piles of steaming crap found scattered throughout the athletes accommodations?

I mean, call me a pessimist but you've gotta ask yourself... you don't know how to use a toilet... how safe is the electrical wiring gonna be?

And Marty... you just might be overplaying the "optimism" card...

Rice heard the athletes village is situated beside a dump and downstream from a large river dam that could apparently burst and flood the village if water levels rise.

"Knowing October is the rainy season," said Rice, "I can't help but ask which urban engineer thought placing the village in this location was a smart choice.

Hey, no worries... in case of emergency, you just run across the bridge... wait a minute...

Bright lights, big city...

...do you know where your children are? --
And, no... that's not a rhetorical question...

A Toronto woman is charged with trying to abduct a three-year-old boy at the Eaton Centre.

Police said the boy was in the huge mall with his mother and siblings but when mom turned her attention to deal with the other kids, the suspect approached the boy.

She allegedly grabbed his hand and started walking away, police said. But the boy's mom spotted the woman and confronted her immediately in the crowded mall.

Thi Luu, 34, is charged with attempt abduction of a person under 14, obstructing police and fail to appear in court.

And a cry rang out across the land...

.."If it saves just one life"...
For the love of gawd... when are Jack and Iggy gonna bring in more stringent controls on those dastardly Blackberries -- and I'm not just talking about a stupid ticket...

“Distracted deaths as a share of all road fatalities increased from 10.9 per cent to 15.8 per cent from 1999 to 2008, and much of the increase occurred after 2005,” they wrote.

“In 2008, approximately 1 in 6 fatal vehicle collisions resulted from a driver being distracted while driving,” the report said. It found 5,870 people died in accidents attributed to distracted driving.

Obviously, folks... cell phones have killed way more people than my rifles ever will... but I haven't heard a peep outta the Opposition Coalition about dealing with this deadly epidemic.

Let's start with a Cellphone Safety Course... and an ironclad rule that after you get your Telephone Acquisition Certificate these dangerous devices only be transported in the locked trunk of your vehicle.

And again, obviously... we must have a National Communications Devices Registry... to ensure that our Police Forces know what they're walking into every time they do a traffic stop.

Time to beef up the punishments too. In future, anyone caught texting while driving will face a lifetime ban on phone ownership.

C'mon Iggy... Jack... stop the senseless slaughter.

Do it now.

Just another "Field of Dreams"

If you ban it... they will come...

"Why are there so many fans of pornography in Indonesia?" asks Juniwati Masjchun Sofwan, head of the Indonesian Commission to Eradicate Pornography. "Because there has been a lack of control since the press and society found new freedom in the 10 years since Reformasi."

"There is no sex education in the public schools or the Muslim boarding schools known as pesantren," explains Guntur Romli, who writes on sexuality and Islam and studied at Al Azhar in Cairo. "All that is taught is what is halal or haram, and that is the end of the discussion."

Be careful what you wish for

So Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been running around hysterically screaming "byte me!!!" -- Looks like somebody may have taken him up on it...

A geographical distribution of computers hit by Stuxnet, which Microsoft produced in July, found Iran to be the apparent epicenter of the Stuxnet infections.

"This will all eventually come out and Stuxnet's target will be known," Langner says. "If Bushehr wasn't the target and it starts up in a few months, well, I was wrong.

But somewhere out there, Stuxnet has found its target. We can be fairly certain of that."

A "Blazing Cat" among the Pigeons

"u are the most rascal man in the world" -- asadriaz223

**********

UPDATE: What? What media bias?

Remember when newspapers didn't didn't try to create the news?

**********

LAST WORD: That ol' one-two punch

"I'm partial to 'Give Heather Mallick Another Wet Dream' -- but if you think you can do better, click here."

What's a little cultural relativism...

...between friends?...

"There was also 'excrement in places it shouldn't be', thought to be a result of labourers relieving themselves in the homes, while Scottish officials are reported to have photographed a stray dog defecating on a bed."

**********

UPDATE: Send in the clowns...

...er... the untouchables...

New Zealand became the latest country to defer travel for its team, which was scheduled to reach Delhi on Sunday. Like Scotland and Canada, which have also postponed travel, New Zealand cited hygiene and safety concerns.

Meanwhile... back at the ranch...

"One Toke over Benign, Sweet Jesus..."

..."One Toke over Benign"...

"If the United States can put a man on the moon... why can't they do something about those poor people on Gilligan's Island?"

Hope, change and...

...where is the love?

-- NYC -- "Who would have thought that six weeks before a cliffhanger election, President Obama would have to reach down to the D list to fill a room to listen to him?" she writes.

Yes, many thought it was a joke when they were sent an email that tickets to Obama's general reception at the Roosevelt Hotel in New York were on "fire sale" for only $100, down from the original $500 asking price.

Perhaps the Obama Whitehouse needs to bring in some real fundraising pros...

Singer Bono’s Aids charity is under fire for spending more on its staff’s wages than it does on its own cause.

According to a report in the US the global charity took in £9.6 million in public donations in 2008, the latest year for which US public tax records are available.

A meagre £118,000 was split between three charities – while more than £5 million was spent on executive and employee salaries.

Hey... you think those private jets fly on Evian?

The audacity of, well... audacity.

With apologies to Roy Scheider...

..."We're gonna need a bigger boat."...

“Yes, this is not normal for you,” Mrs. Rafaat said in sometimes imperfect English. “And I know it’s very hard for you to believe why one mother is doing these things to their youngest daughter.

But I want to say for you, that some things are happening in Afghanistan that are really not imaginable for you as a Western people.”

Uh, lady... the scary thing here is... this playing dress-up thing is actually one of the least abnormal things you folks do.

If she is not repentant, he should beat her, but there are rules to the beating. It is forbidden to beat her in the face or make her ugly. When you beat her, you must not curse her. Islam forbids this.

**********

RELATED: Oh, c'mon Robespierre...

...what part of... "cut off their freakin' infidel heads"... are you just not getting?

How the Liberals define "victory"

Their leader didn't get tarred & feathered...

"That all of his MPs were in their seats and stood with him on issue of the gun registry – a Liberal legacy – marked an important turning point for Mr. Ignatieff who has had to contend with divided loyalties among those who sit in the benches behind him."

Seriously... that's the new standard for party unity & loyalty?

You show up for a whipped vote?

Yikers.

**********

RELATED: Professor Iggy's "big win"

Yeah... because spending 2 billion taxpayer dollars to chase after farmers, duck hunters and skeet shooters is really gonna take a bite out of urban handgun mayhem...

On the plus side... after you've ripped off a half-dozen hand-punishing rounds that tear chunks of masonry out of surrounding buildings, you can beat your intended target to death with it.

Good grief.

One step forward, two steps back

"The people of the regions of this country are never going to accept being treated like criminals and we will continue our efforts until this registry is finally abolished."

**********

RELATED: The thing is, Peace Moonbeam...

...the "magical thinking" thing is total & unadulterated bullshit.

You wanna actually save lives and not just sell newspapers, or commercial minutes... try registering alcoholics.

Freedom is a two-faced bitch

Yet another "be careful what you wish for" moment...

On July 26, 1847, the Liberian Declaration of Independence was adopted and signed.

In it, Liberians charged their mother country, the United States, with injustices that made it necessary for them to leave and make new lives for themselves in Africa.

They called upon the international community to recognize the independence and sovereignty of Liberia.

Liberia... which ironically... translates literally as... "the free land."

You know what? I'm thinking I'll just...

...head down to Buffalo and catch the Bills...

-- NEW DELHI -- Skepticism about India’s preparedness for the Commonwealth Games deepened Tuesday after a partly constructed footbridge collapsed outside the main arena for competition, injuring dozens.

“This will not affect the games,” said Raj Kumar Chauhan, a Delhi minister for development, who spoke at the scene. “We can put the bridge up again, or make a new one.”

Right Raj... no biggie. Or maybe you could ferry people across the river on bullocks... and call it a cross-cultural adventure.

Unfortunately, that's not the only problem here...

The village is “uninhabitable,” the Commonwealth Games Federation chief executive, Mike Hooper, told the local television channel CNN-IBN on Tuesday. “There is dust everywhere,” he said. “The flats are dirty and filthy. Toilets are unclean.”

Hmmm, what's Raj's next brainwave gonna be... Ganges brand bottled water?

Oh, yeah... there's just that one other little fly in the ointment...

Security at the games has also become a major concern after two tourists were shot outside the Jama Masjid, a mosque that is one of Delhi’s major attractions, on Sunday.

Buffalo... here I come.

Man... that's just so weird...

...one measly little life sentence... everybody suddenly seems to see the light...

The mastermind of the Toronto 18 no longer believes in extremist Islamic ideology so his life sentence should be reduced, an appeals court has heard.

Zakaria Amara, 24, was the ringleader of a terrorist group with plans to set off bombs in downtown Toronto, police stations, military bases and at Parliament Hill.

In other "don't mess with me, I'm a lawyer" news...

"If Giacomo Vigna really did send me the above email, my response would be points 1, 2, and 3 above, plus 'Go fuck yourself'."

The new Liberal Party of Canada

another breath of fresh... wait a minute...

"He is the fourth high-level bureaucrat who has joined the Ignatieff OLO."

ICEBERG... DEAD AHEAD!!!

Looks like the S.S Hope & Change is heading to the bottom of the political ocean...

“I'm exhausted of defending you, defending your administration, defending the mantle of change that I voted for, and deeply disappointed with where we are right now,” said Velma Hart at President Obama's economic town hall in Washington D.C. Monday.

Oh, c'mon... she's just some rabble-rousing tea-partier... right?

Hart is the chief financial officer of AMVETS, a veterans’ organization, and her husband is a facilities administrator at the Verizon Center in Washington.

With friends like this... who needs Joe Biden?

**********

RELATED: More trouble in Camelot?

**********

LAST WORD: Paging Michael Ignatieff...

The Dems lose Jesse Jackson... they may as well park their unicorns...

Asked if Summers represents a disconnect with the president’s base, Jackson replied, “The core of them—Summers, Geithner — these guys come out of the Wall Street, Harvard community, and their point of view is conditioned by their privileges and their point of view is conditioned by their experiences."

"Their point of view is from the top down. They see the world differently.”

Hmmm... that sounds so familiar.

So after 4 years and a million visitors...

...there'll be a few changes here at the Halls.

As regular readers may have noticed of late, there has been an exponential increase in troll activity. It's something that anyone who blogs has to deal with... part of the job description if you will... but I think it's time to implement comment moderation.

I came to this decision reluctantly... and only after running some of the recent erratic... and increasingly pornographic commentary past a psychologist friend.

This shouldn't really effect regular readers & commenters... the 5 to 6 thousand folks who visit here weekly.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. A special thanks to all the folks who wrote to share their thoughts about the "Nonny" situation.

I look forward to the next 4 years.

**********

POSTSCRIPT: Seven, er... one stages... of troll grief

So it's been a while since I initiated comment moderation and... not surprisingly... Nonny hasn't given up the ghost. Every night, without fail, he shows up to breathlessly share his innermost desires.

These, unfortunately... consist largely of nonsensical suggestions involving sexual relations with various members of the animal kingdom, or homicidal fantasies...

"If it was me firebombing you, you would not have a chance at a second thought, because as soon as you exited the building, well, the whole idea of the firebomb was to flush the skunk (you) out and get you into um, range."
Posted by liberal supporter to halls of macadamia at 10:18 PM, January 24, 2011

Apparently, comment moderation has been a freeing experience for Nonny as well...

"Someone living in obscurity in butt fuck nowhere, has a lot to tell all the folks living in butt fuck nowhere too."
Posted by Anonymous to halls of macadamia at 9:00 PM, February 25, 2011

Yup... an endless supply of postcards from the compassionate, intellectual left.

And, hey... look who showed up yet again...

...it's the same despicable asshole who pissed all over a dead Canadian soldier's mother...
Live and don't learn... the world is full of them. Sigh.

Bright lights, big city...

...oh my goodness, are you allowed to say that?

-- TORONTO -- A North York cell phone store remained closed Tuesday after a robbery Monday night that left a 24-year-old storekeeper with gunshot wounds to the upper chest.

Mohammad Sarwar, who owns the Butt East and West Indian Food store next door, said he's been robbed twice in the past six months and he's decided to close his shop.

"It's not a safe neighbourhood," he said. "There's a lot of guys in the social housing nearby and they come here and they rob the place."

No word yet, from Mayor Miller's office... on which gun club the shooters belonged to.

Hey, Sami... there's this game they play...

...in federal lockup... it's called "Drop the Soap"...

A 22-year-old Lebanese medical student who regards Sept. 11 as a "beautiful day" is in custody after placing a backpack containing what he thought was an explosive device into a Wrigleyville trash can, federal authorities said Monday.

Sami Samir Hassoun, of the 4700 block of North Kedzie, has been charged with one count each of attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction and attempted use of an explosive device, the Federal Bureau of Investigation's Chicago office said.

"I will f*** Chicago. I will shake Chicago," the criminal complaint quotes Hassoun as saying.

Oh, baby... I sure hope you don't like being on top.

Never a Russian aristocrat around...

...when you really need one...

Michael Ignatieff first offended Ukrainians around the world in his 1994 book Blood and Belonging, where he talked in derogatory terms about that country’s independence “conjuring up images of embroidered peasant shirts, the nasal whine of ethnic instruments, phony cossacks in cloaks and boots, nasty anti-Semites.”

Calling himself a “Great Russian” he remarked on his disdain for “these little Russians”.

But, but, but... he rides the bus... AND he drank a beer!!!

**********

RELATED: Compassionate, intellectual Mickey I...

...in his own words...

"I don't want to litter the slopes with bodies. There may be people who I've left behind who feel that I was ruthless, and if they feel that, then all I can say is — I wouldn't apologize — all I could say is, I don't want to hurt people."

You mean like the wife and two kids you ditched back in England?

Nice.

Stuff that makes you go... hmmm

From the comments at the Globe & Mail...

"One simple question. Why can't the truly bad teachers be fired? And there are truly bad teachers - why do they have jobs until they retire?"

I'm guessing that most of us had at least one totally unsuitable teacher over the course of our primary, secondary or post-secondary education.

And no... I'm not talking about the hardass from South Africa who threw chalkboard erasers and lifted misbehaving students up by their sideburns.

That sonuvabitch could teach.

I'm talking about the high school history geek who came back from sabbatical after getting his Ph.D... who could be distracted for the entire duration of the class simply by asking questions about his pet obsessions.

Why are there no periodic competency examinations for teachers?

I saw the pictures and I thought...

...these guys just missed a really, really powerful campaign slogan...
I like that ol' Rocco has a sense of humour and is "incredibly proud of his Italian heritage"... I just think he didn't take it far enough, 'cos with a mug like that, he could've gone with...

"Rocco Rossi: he'll make sure the trains run on time"...

I'm not so sure though... he's sending the right message about fiscal responsibility...

"His campaign said they would spend at least $100,000 on the ad campaign." --

I'm just afraid to actually bring it up with him... in case he sends "Walnuts" Kinsella to make me an offer I can't refuse.

**********

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"Appealing to the Italian demographic by making an ad featuring the strongest negative stereotype about Italian people and applying it to the candidate."

"Good job, idiots."

I understand Warren Kinsella is currently trumpeting the ads as a stroke of genius.

Hmmm, here's a thought... try imagine the furore & outrage in the left-o-sphere if someone from the Ford campaign had made even the slightest inference about Rossi being associated with the mob.

Yeah... I know.

**********

LAST WORD: Moody loners with laptops

Much of the column is composed of a sort of reverie in which Mallick describes this hypothetical drunken episode.

She gets back to Ford in the last few paragraphs, but it feels tacked on.

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"Why is there a need for a 'Congressional Black Caucus'?

I was under the assumption that we are all Americans. Be an American first, uphold the Constitution, and no more doublespeak."

**********

RELATED: Funny that... it seems...

...we don't always get all the news that's out there.

The long "War on Drugs" is finally over...

..and guess who won...

"We ask you to explain what you want from us, what we should try to publish or not publish, so we know what to expect."

Just something to think about on your next flight down to Cancun.

The way the world really works

I don't get it... why exactly are Canadians so quick to just "duck & cover"?

-- ffof -- Look at Canadian Indians or whatever they're called this week. One dead guy in Oka, a few imaginary smallpox blankets, and they get to take over whole towns at gunpoint.

And then we have Quebeckers: blow up a few mailboxes, kidnap one guy and kill one other, and you get French on every cereal box, and billions in ransom money transfer payments until the end of time.

But, sadly... it's not just Canadians...

So Obama and Breyer are now the “good cop” to the crazies’ "bad cop". Ooh, no, you can’t say anything about Islam, because my friend here gets a little excitable, and you really don’t want to get him worked up.

**********

RELATED: But is the worm turning?

"All they seem to care about is their visceral conviction that Toronto has been wrecked by the sort of big-spending, union-coddling lefties whom Ford rails against."

Well... something sure appears to have struck a nerve.

Never a Taser around, when you...

...really need one...

The family of a schizophrenic man hopes a coroner's inquest beginning Monday will shed light on why Toronto police fatally shot him more than two years ago. --

Uhm... that's a trick question... right?

Two words, folks... armed AND dangerous.

Officers found Debassige in the park drunk, singing and wielding a knife. Debassige refused repeated calls to drop the weapon and came toward the officers "while wielding the knife in a threatening posture," said the SIU news release.

Sorry, Peace Moonbeam... you call the tune... don't be too surprised somebody punches your dance card.

I'd also be interested in knowing where Byron Debassige's family was... two years ago. Funny how everybody saves up their concern for the inevitable inquest...

"Let's put the onus for seeking treatment on the guy who's obviously crazier than a shithouse mouse... that sounds like a plan."

If it was my son who was suffering from mental illness... he sure as shit wouldn't be wandering around Toronto armed & intoxicated.

You do whatever you have to do.

**********

RELATED: If shooting this guy...

...could bring back a little girl... would you do it?

“It was the voice that started it,” Richard Wilde recalled of Oct. 18, 2007, the day he killed his daughter, Megan.

Our Modern World

WedLock, as it's coyly named, is a new type of casualty insurance that gives the unhappily married policyholder a payout after he or she is unhitched.

It ain't the dog in the fight... it's the fight...

...in the dog...

Mr. Flynn, the son-in-law, had a suggestion. “Barry said, ‘cut it in half, maybe he’ll quit farming,’” Mr. Comeau recalled, laughing.

Be careful...

...what you wish for.

**********

FROM THE COMMENTS: I'm so not a troll...

...the compassionate, intellectual left replies...

And I'm sure he's not finished yet.

*********

UPDATE: It's not obsession...

...it's dedication to the greater good...

Waiting for PETA... to declare a fatwa

The RSPCA says all meat produced from animals that have not been stunned before slaughter should be clearly labelled so that it can be easily identified by consumers.

First... toss Reyat back into the slammer

The second thing we do... is hang all the lawyers...

Mr. Donaldson said his client didn't remember certain events but that's because they'd occurred nearly 20 years earlier and few people can recall even significant matters from two decades earlier.

Significant?!?!

You snuff out 331 lives... and you can't manage to recall the details?

If there was any justice in this world, they'd weld the freakin' cell door shut.

Gotta have priorities, huh?

Apparently, the first dead kid is deductible...
A bad taste? Seriously?

As much as the cold, battered body of someone's teenage son?

I doubt it.

**********

FROM THE COMMENTS:

The headline now reads 'Crackdown on partying at Queen's threatens university's raucus reputation'. So maybe your post had an effect. And yes, they did spell it 'raucus'.

Yes, Alex... I'll take Toronto for 200 dollars

-- TORONTO -- Staff Sergeant Jim Farrell said this shooting is a classical case of "wrong place at the wrong time."

Geography... it's a bitch.

**********

RELATED: East end, west end...

...it don't make a bit of difference...

Toronto police are hunting for a suspect after a shooting in the Highway 27 and Albion Rd. area late Friday night.

He has been identified as 45-year old Pritpal Singh.

Damn you, infernal Geography!

Suckass political correctness

So who's the big fat liar here... Paul Kagame, or the United Nations?

-- LONDON -- "They are baseless and totally untrue and flawed in many ways. To accuse Rwandan forces of committing genocide in the Congo or wherever for that matter, other than what happened in our own country, is just absurd."

Hutus, Tutsis... these guys are all workin' off the same playbook.

We're just not allowed to talk about it.

The Party of...

...one people, one law...

The new measure, enacted by recently appointed Transport Minister Chuck Strahl, has been issued because Ottawa discovered the existing rules were not detailed enough.

Nina Chiarelli, a spokeswoman for Mr. Strahl, said the security notice is intended to remind airlines that “in order to meet the requirements of the regulations, air carriers must be able to see the faces of all passengers.”

“It’s one law for all, everyone is treated equally and this is not an invasive request to see someone’s face,” Mr. Baird said in August.

The first thing we do...

...is hang all the lawyers, er... judges...

The Ontario Court of Appeal has upheld rulings that said denying two chronic alcoholics long-term support payments would violate the province's Human Rights Code.

The Ontario Disability Support Program had argued over the years the men should be ineligible for benefits because their sole impairment was severe alcoholism.

And now that the precedent has been set... get ready to generously subsidise the lives of every stinking, miserable stumble-bum who ever panhandled you on your way down Yonge St.

It rejected arguments the men should instead collect welfare, which would require them to look for a job and get help with their alcoholism.

Welfare payments would be about half of what recipients receive in long-term disability.

I fear for my country.

**********

PS: Whaddaya figure it'll cost...

...to give every crack-whore in East Van a "disability" pension?

Unfortunately... in Laghman Province...

...when they say "heads will roll"... it isn't simply colourful local phraseology...

-- KABUL, Afghanistan -- The Taliban on Friday claimed to have kidnapped 30 campaign workers, election officials and even a candidate for Parliament as Afghans prepared to vote in elections Saturday.

In Badghis, the local Taliban commander, reached by telephone and speaking on condition of anonymity, took responsibility for kidnapping the 8 election officials and 10 campaigners. He said they would be tried by a Taliban court for their “crimes.”

That's some "Religion of Peace" you've got there, Mo.

Scary, evil forces casting dark spells

Oh my gawd, it's not just a rumour... Lord Voldemort has come to Ottawa...
**********

RELATED: First they came...

...for Bruce Montague...

What started this? Bruce is a model citizen with no criminal record, and has an excellent community and business reputation. But as a hunter and gunsmith from northern Ontario, Bruce Montague has boldly and actively opposed the Liberal government's illegitimate gun law by nonviolent public protest and peaceful non-compliance.

If only he had an aboriginal exemption card.

If only there was a law...

...or maybe some sort of registry...

Maybe you have met him. Sometimes he goes under Kevin Jackson, Kevin Reed, Kevin Sewyer, Mark Stone, Kevin James, Keane Alpden, Kevin Grant, Orlando Henry, Edward Craig, Kevin Littleman or Paul Rose.

He is currently in detention awaiting his second deportation.

Well, that seems a little bit harsh... it's not like he killed... wait a minute...

Life on Planet Dalton

It's simply amazing... it's like he can get right inside people's heads...
**********

FROM THE COMMENTS: Socrates lives!

The compassionate, intellectual left replies...

"God you're such, a complete lying douchebag."

Do the right thing

Think of a graph showing your hours worked each day for a year. The regression line is not especially high, but the standard deviation is outrageous.

That's life as a corporate lawyer.

It took a year to realize this is not me. Reacting to changing circumstances is one thing; being told how to react, and when to react, is another.

My graph was a cardiogram, all heart attacks and comas.

Threat of violence?

As opposed to what... their usual tomfoolery?

-- VOA AFGHANISTAN -- The Taliban is repeating its threat of violence during Saturday's parliamentary vote in Afghanistan.

The militant group said Thursday it planned to attack polling stations throughout the country and urged Afghans to boycott the elections.

Hey, Julie Journalist... lemme help you with that headline... "Bloodthirsty Muslim Zealots Will Murder Anyone Caught Voting."

You're welcome.

FROM THE COMMENTS:

Attention local miscreants...

"Thanks to the G&M and Charlie we now know where he keeps his guns. Any criminal elements in the area will appreciate this info. as it will make it a lot easier to find them."

"Thanks for that Charlie! Why not just post a note on the front door: Guns are under the marital bed!"
9/16/2010 11:41:46 AM

Yes, Peace Moonbeam... of course... that could never happen...

In a case that drives home the purpose of Please Rob Me, a site dedicated to raising anti-oversharing awareness, the robbers hit 50 homes in Nashua, N.H. in August.

**********

RELATED: In other "Wag the Dog" news

Those NDP members electing to defy their constituents' wishes in favour of their leader's desire to defeat the Conservatives' attempt to abolish the registry, will disregard both stark evidence of the registry's failures, and the emotions of their voters.

Stand by for breaking news...

...on gravity holding shit down...

Former Liberal to serve 12 months in community instead of 15 months behind bars, appeal court rules.

The Quebec Court of Appeal announced on Wednesday that it was reducing the sentence handed down last year against Benoît Corbeil, the former director-general of the Quebec wing of the Liberal Party of Canada.

Apparently... there's no such thing as a bad boy in Canuckistan any more.

From the guy who brought you...

...sex ed for 6 year-olds...

Ontario’s Premier says hand-held devices can and should be used as educational tools, creating a fresh debate over cellphones in the classroom and potential headaches for teachers who have been fighting to keep their students’ attention.

I'm not sure I follow Premier McSlippery's logic here.

Neophyte's primary school was equipped, at no small expense, with "Smartboards"... essentially a computer hookup to the internet... controlled by the teacher... that could be projected onto a large screen.

Now Dalton wants to just let kids surf the intertoobs with their Crackberrys during class?

What could possibly go awry there, huh?

**********

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"Or as my wife says: "So, he's going to pay their cell phone bills?"

That secretive, controlling Stephen Harp...

...wait a minute...

This week, CBC/Radio-Canada lawyers went to court in Montreal to plead that their Crown corporation not be subject to the Access to Information Act (AIA) like all other federal institutions.

The CBC has been bound by the AIA since 2007. However, it systematically applies a legal provision to reject requests for information arguing that these jeopardize its journalistic, creative or programming activities.

The Office of the Information Commissioner challenges this interpretation and wants to see the documents requested before judging if the loophole applies. The CBC refuses.

Hang on... it gets better...

What this means is taxpayers are paying lawyers of both sides as the case goes before a judge.

Only in Canada.

**********

RELATED: Trust me...

...I'm a professional journalist.

**********

LAST WORD: Sweet baby jebus, no wonder...

...the CBC doesn't want any of their dirty linen aired in public...

-- WINNIPEG -- The next time the CBC gets a phone call from a repeat, violent refugee offender who's been deported to Somalia and who claims he's being held captive at an airport by armed extremists, they'll probably think twice before running a story about it.

The CBC ran two days of reports based solely on the word of a slimeball, violent criminal who -- had the CBC done its homework -- would have known is a perpetual con man and a master at manipulation.

Can a "Drippy Dick" tax...

...be far behind?

-- VANCOUVER -- The Pembina Institute says British Columbia should increase its trendsetting carbon tax to $200 per tonne of CO2 emissions, equivalent to a 48-cent surcharge in the price of gasoline, if it’s serious about addressing climate change.

The B.C. Liberals plan to increase the carbon tax to $30 a tonne by 2012 — but have not yet determined what will happen after the 2012 fiscal year, according to Finance Minister Colin Hansen.

**********

RELATED: It's only money, right?

-- San Francisco -- An alcohol fee to help cover San Francisco's costs to care for inebriates won preliminary approval from the Board of Supervisors Tuesday.

Because, obviously... you should pay for everybody elses character defects

The capricious and unknowable...

..."Will of Allah"...

-- GAZA -- Hamas police ordered a Gaza hotel restaurant closed on Wednesday for allowing a woman to smoke a water pipe on its premises.

“They acted as if they caught her red-handed committing a crime,” the hotel’s co-owner said of the encounter between Hamas police and the woman.

Damn scofflaws... no wonder these uppity dames ain't allowed to drive... or go out by themselves... or...

**********

RELATED: Meanwhile... back here in Canada

Unbelievable.

**********

LAST WORD: The Witness Protection Program

Not just for aging mob informants anymore.

HOLY CRAP!!!

Has anybody passed the word to Margaret Atwood?

**********

RELATED: In other "Discover Diversity" news...

"We really don't care if you want to practise witchcraft, as long as you don't allegedly defraud people," Peel Sgt. Zahir Shah said.

Yogendra Pathak, 44, was charged Monday with fraud under $5,000 and pretending to practise witchcraft. He's to appear in court Oct. 7.

They oughta call them "Sly Meters"

Even when he's not raising your taxes... he's raising your taxes...

Premier Dalton McGuinty acknowledged on Tuesday that he is hearing the same complaints that opposition members are raising: many people who throw in a load of laundry late at night when electricity prices are lower are getting hit with higher hydro bills.

Mr. McGuinty did not say how his government plans to change the program.

Thanks again to reader Rich...

"It cost us each a bundle to get the meters -- which don't work."

Just like the McSlippery regime.

Sad news from the world of politics

Apparently George Smitherman has early-onset Alzheimers...

-- September 14, 2010 -- Contractors should be dinged and managers fired if construction work isn’t done on time, George Smitherman said Tuesday in the midst of a project that’s on time and on budget.

Well, that's certainly a bold... wait a minute...

-- 6 Oct 2007 -- Ontario's Liberal government has paid out almost $1 billion to private companies to cover new hospital construction overruns, a coalition of community health organizations said Friday.

Geez... that sounds so familiar.

Who was Dalton McGuinty's Minister of Health and Long-Term Care from 2003 to 2008?

Oh George.

**********

FROM THE COMMENTS: The chimp-o-sphere replies...

"You're just a fat bald little wanker jacking off day(sic?) on your blog.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**********

POP QUIZ: Here's the real puzzler...

Why exactly is it... you upset a compassionate, intellectual leftie... their gut reaction is to freak out and call you a fag?

"Neo's having a good chat with Rick. Rick and Neo are friends."

"Hey Rick? You wanna smoke Neo's hog?"

Apparently... that's the absolute worst thing these cowardly, anonymous pinko trolls can think of.

Nice.

Take nothing but pictures...

...leave nothing but footprints...

-- ROME -- Italy Tuesday seized Mafia-linked assets worth $1.9 billion — the biggest mob haul ever — in an operation revealing that the crime group was trying to "go green" by laundering money through alternative energy companies.

At the center of the investigation was Sicilian businessman Vito Nicastri, 54, a man known as the "Lord of the Wind" because of his vast holdings in alternative energy concerns, mostly wind farms.

Is Paris Burning?

I'm thinkin' we're gonna see more than a few Korans go up in smoke very shortly...

The vast majority behind the measure say it will preserve the nation's singular values, including its secular foundation and a notion of fraternity that is contrary to those who hide their faces.

The law was passed overwhelmingly by the lower house of parliament, the National Assembly, on July 13.

And hey... the reference to fire... I'm not joking.

**********

UPDATE: In three, two, one...

-- PARIS -- Paris' Eiffel Tower and its immediate surroundings were evacuated Tuesday evening after an anonymous caller phoned in a bomb threat.

French media also said parts of a second tourist hub — the Saint-Michel subway station near Notre Dame Cathedral — were briefly evacuated following a similar threat.

The station was the target of a terrorist attack in 1995 that killed eight and injured scores of people.

What's next, Gomer... tales of anal probing?

Al-Qaeda... nope... Tamil Tigers... yeah, as if...

"Look, it's an extremist group," Liberal House leader David McGuinty said. --

And apparently... they've brainwashed our Prime Minister. Yeah... this is, for sure, the guys I want tugging on the levers of political power.

Uh, Dave darling... maybe you'd better stay in the alien-abduction end of the pool.

**********

RELATED: Spanked & sent to bed

Welcome to the pros, Mr. Ignatieff. Enjoy your time, because if this goes wrong for you, like Bull Durham, you won't last long in the show.

**********

UPDATE: More ingenuous CBC tricks

It's not just old news recycled... it's not true...

When I heard about the NRA story, I thought it could be interesting. It would be fascinating if the NRA were organizing people in Timmins to defeat NDP MP Charlie Angus after he changed his mind on the registry.

Instead CBC rehashed old news.

Old news that was total bullshit.

That insatiable, bloodthirsty George W...

...wait a minute...

Pakistani intelligence officials say two U.S. missile strikes have killed at least 14 militants in the country's northwestern tribal region near the Afghan border.

So far this month, there have been 11 missile strikes by suspected U.S. drones in the region.

Once again... it's the indisputable audacity of penetrating trauma.

Uh... go Barry go!!!

On Islamophobia

By what outlandish moral logic does Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf call America an “accomplice to the crime” of 9/11?

From whom will he acquire the $100 million required to build his center, and what will they receive in return?

None of these questions will be answered by simply condemning as phobic those who bring them to the fore.

**********

LAST WORD: Because it's Australia

Where even the lawyers are men.

From the comments:

"Of course, if the doctor turned out to be a Boston Red Sox fan, I could see how that would be legitimate grounds for dumping him."

The Doctor Is In

America’s problems are not imperial overreach, or social decay, which have brought down the world’s previous leading nations and peoples; they are profound but corrigible public-policy errors.

The nation was transformed into a white-collar fool’s paradise, where lawyers bill $1-trillion a year, manufacturing departs and too few people are actually doing anything useful.

The result: no saving, little investment and instant gratification on borrowed money.

Just back from the Big Smoke

It's so good to be home.

Jetted down to the Devil's Armpit today with my faithful carbon spewing, tree-eatin' saw... to help out my city-bound brother-in-law.

What a day.

It's always amazing to me how people cope with the Hogtown two-step. I have trouble believing that I was once part of this infernal machine.

I've gotta ask... is there actually any part of the day any more... that doesn't qualify as rush hour? Seriously... I feel like a cow that's been run through a 10 mile cattle chute.

Tronna... you can have it.

**********

RELATED: Mayor's office strangely quiet...

...about which gun club he belonged to...

Toronto detectives are expected to issue an arrest warrant Tuesday for an alleged shoplifter who fired a handgun at a pursuing store security guard at Fairview Mall.

Acting Staff-Sgt. Gary Hutchison said the suspect is known to police and is currently wanted on other outstanding arrest warrants for unspecified acts of violence.

I don't get it... can't they just look him up in the infallible "gun registry."

**********

UPDATE: Oops... maybe not a shoplifter

Never a gun registry around...

...when you really need one...

-- TORONTO -- Two suspects have been arrested in connection with a fatal shooting in north Toronto.

The men were found hiding in a car near Jane Street and Yorkgate Boulevard on Sunday night, shortly after a man was shot and killed at a townhouse complex.

No word yet from Mayor Miller's office... on which gun club the two men belonged to.

**********

UPDATE: Toronto the Good

"Police identified the victim as Jerome Leigh Ellington."