Thank your lucky stars...

...these guys are so inept... the F-L-Clouseau swings and fans yet again. -- VANCOUVER -- A third attack has been discovered on a pipeline in the Dawson Creek area of northeastern British Columbia.The target was a natural gas wellhead about 12 kilometres northwest of Tomslake, a small town near Dawson Creek.A small amount of gas leaked, but the public is not in danger, the RCMP said in a statement....

Iran, North Korea... another 9/11?

You melt down over some paparazzi... what's gonna happen when the pressure's really on?"That's enough. You've got a shot. Leave us alone," Obama told reporters as he walked down the block with his 7-year-old daughter Sasha in her costume on the way to a party at a neighbour's hom...

You can say this with a straight face...

...you know you're truly ready to do the job...“I think it's just a misinformation campaign or a disinformation campaign and I just think it doesn't speak well of what goes on in our business.”**********FROM THE COMMENTS:"Rae and Iggy in a naked, olive oiled, intellectual, roomie, death match for the bragging rights to a corpulent carcass.""Fuck the beer and popcorn... I'm gonna watch with Dom and...

Today's "Geek Me Out" moment

"The issue here is that the Mediterranean is a genetic jacuzzi, if you will, it's had people moving around all over the place for millennia," said Spencer Wells, director of the Genographic Projec...

Drugs... the victimless crime

A Montreal man is accused of recruiting a 24-year-old woman to smuggle $3.5 million worth of heroin into Canada via Toronto.RCMP allege the suspect is part of a ring that recruited human couriers -- mostly single moms -- to smuggle dope into Canada through Pearson International Airport. Jimmy Miudo, 33, is slated for a bail hearing at Maplehurst Correctional Complex toda...

Who says...

...size doesn't matter?**********FROM THE COMMENTS:"I guess they're feeling pretty confident that terrorists won't be flying airplanes into that thing...

I guess that's how...

...you get to be a millionaire..."What A Family Man.""Aunt in the projects, Brother living in the slums... maybe he ought to spread his own wealth before trying to spread ours." "Another hypocrite in Washington - I am SHOCKED!!!"Posted by Sally October 30, 08 06:17 ...

Sure you wanna say that out loud?

Isn't this sorta like getting an endorsement from Jimmy Hof...

Call me uppity...

...but if the junkies get pristine, taxpayer funded syringes... why should anyone else have to settle for sloppy seconds.**********FROM THE COMMENTS: But hospitals are safe, right?"An estimated 220,000 Canadians develop hospital-acquired infections each year, of which MRSA is one type, according to...

Well, Toronto

How do you like him now?“When this mayor got elected, the debt was $1.4-billion, and now it’s going to be $2.9-billion and we’ve got a plethora of taxes...

"They gotta stop that"

Another case of people getting their information from the boob tube..."They just gotta stop that. If he was out of hand, shoot him in the leg or something.""It's not going to kill him."Wanna bet? See, the thing is... when the pistols come out... police officers are trained, for very good reasons, to fire center-mass.Be careful what you wish fo...

Easy come... easy go

"They told us they didn't suffer long."What the hell is that... the moral of the story?The Canadian Press reported that the shed was on the same property where a house burned down less than a month ago in a suspicious fire.Let's chew on that one for a little while.Another senseless waste of life.**********RELATED:...

Chinese Roulette

If you have any type of foodstuff in your house (and, chances are, whether you know it, or not... you do) that contains any type of ingredient made in China... it's like sticking a loaded gun in your mouth... -- BEIJING -- Animal feed producers in China commonly add the industrial chemical melamine to their products to make them appear higher in protein, state media reported Thursday, an indication...

It's "Chainsaw Therapy" week

So I'm sittin' here yesterday afternoon... thinkin' if I hear one more word about recidivist convicts and innocent victims... or how Saint Barack is JFK reborn... I'm gonna start screamin and bustin' stuff. It was obviously time to get my head on straight. So yesterday, to that end, I spent a couple hours out back just tryin' to clear out all the cobwebs.I'd started out thinking I'd buck some lengths...

Toronto "Red" Star outdoes itself...

...with its online reportage on "the measure of a man."Today we've got heroes... versus, well... zeroes...One of these men has lived an extraordinary life, triumphing over adversity and is a model to us all... the other, apparently... is just a senile old nobody.Go figur...

Just another victim

"Trial by media!", a family member yelled as she left the court house.I wonder if this guy would agree.**********RELATED: And a cry rang out across McSlipperyland...More social workers!!!Two youths are accused of pepper spraying two groups of teenagers and holding a machete to another youth's throat during unprovoked attacks in Pickering last week.A 16-year-old and a 17-year-old, both of Ajax, face...

Good news... bad news

Hey, this is Canada... what were you expecting?Mr. Khawaja, a 29- year-old who took terrorist training in Pakistan while on leave from his job fixing computers for Canada's Foreign Affairs Department, is the second person convicted under antiterrorism laws passed in 2001.Hmmm... two convictions in seven years... not exactly the landslide of persecution the lefties have been screaming about, huh?And...

First it was...

"I won't cut your taxes... but I won't raise them either."Then there was a billion dollars in hospital construction cost overruns.So where does Dalton McGuinty draw the line on wheelin' & dealin'? -- TORONTO -- Kyle Weese's plea bargain that saw gun charges dropped in 2006 came at a time when the provincial government was proclaiming the success of a policy not to make such deals."We absolutely...

It's a No-Brainer

How smart do you have to be... to realise that the lack of a proper education, especially in today's knowledge-based economy, will make or break your child's future?In fact, here in Canada, without that piece of paper, you can be condemning yourself to a lifetime of menial, low-paying jobs... or worse... a life of penury.And, what exactly, is the deal with Canada's aboriginal communities?Using data...

McCain outgunned

"On Sunday, Oct. 26, McCain ran just 331 TV ad units in those seven states — 308% fewer than the 1,350 ad units Obama ran that day."**********WELCOME, YET AGAIN, READERS OF CANADIAN CYNICOh boy... two links in two days... that CC must really like me. But that's just the kind of guy he is... a champion...

This is McSlippery country...

He'll probably be out on bail by the end of the week...Kyle Weese, the suspect in the Duke of York tavern shooting that left an innocent woman dead, has turned himself into police.Weese arrived at 55 Division at 7:50 p.m. Tuesday.**********RELATED: Dalton... where art thou?Runciman blasted Ontario's attorney general Tuesday for allowing a plea deal that saw the Crown drop six of seven serious charges...

Screw it... let's start shifting resources...

...and personnel over to people who actually care if they live or die...One inmate has been found dead in his cell at the Toronto West Detention Centre and an inmate who shared the same cell is in hospital.The second inmate was taken to hospital with “little or no vital signs” when guards made the discovery...

There's hope for us all...

...if even infamous lonely-heart Dr Dawg... can find true lov...

"Aren't you gonna' open your gift?"

"If it's a severed head, I'm going to be very upse...

A plague upon the land

Yes... lawyers... -- MEDICINE HAT -- An Alberta girl convicted last year of the premeditated slayings of her parents and little brother is doing well in therapy and should be given more freedom as she completes the maximum 10-year sentence for her crimes, a court heard Monday.The girl, who is now...

TERROR UPDATE:

Syria gets its pants pulled down on international stage...Al Qaeda leader Abu Ghadiya was killed in yesterday's strike inside Syria, a senior US military intelligence official told The Long War Journal. But US special operations forces also inflicted a major blow to al Qaeda's foreign fighter network based in Syria. The entire senior leadership of Ghadiya's network was also killed in the raid, the...

Every vote should count

Everybody... and I do mean everybody... makes a huge deal out of getting out and exercising the franchise... but then we're not gonna count all the votes? -- VANCOUVER, B.C. -- A Vancouver Conservative candidate who lost a federal election recount last week is appealing the result in court.Wai Young...

How good are the drones?

Pretty damn good...According to the Times, one of the targeted commanders "was believed to have been visiting the compound ... to pay his respects to the families of those killed in an American drone strike on Friday" in a different location. The machines find and kill you, and then, when your boss shows up somewhere else to console your relatives, the machines are waiting for him there, too.**********UPDATE:...

Two deep-south skinhead nutbags...

...held in alleged Obama assassination plot...The men, Daniel Cowart, 20, of Bells, Tenn., and Paul Schlesselman, 18, of West Helena, Ark., are being held without bond. Agents seized a rifle, a sawed-off shotgun and three pistols from the men when they were arrested.Anybody else hearing duelling banjos?**********UPDATE:...

So... what's the deal here?

He tried to smoke his own brother? -- TORONTO -- The brother of Kyle Weese, a suspect in the Leslieville shooting that claimed the life of an innocent bystander Friday night, was also shot in the melee.But Matthew Weese, 23, wasn't counted among the injured from that incident. He walked into a hospital emergency room last night, suffering from a bullet wound, a source told thestar.com this mo...

New life for old stuff

For the first few days after setting up Mrs Neo's Paypal account... I have to confess... I was walking around feeling like a man who'd caused a train wreck.Turns out though, she has been zeroing in on some interesting stuff... in particular antique tin chocolate molds. The molds are very often pieces...

What's life without a dream, huh?

"Who are we? We’re just two regular guys who love grilling and football on Sunday afternoons, eating until we can’t get off the couch and of course, the taste of great bacon." "And it’s our dream to make everything taste like bacon."Oh, man... I'm jonesin' already... and that was before they started...

Just for the halibut

Meet the Sashimi Tabernacle Choir...

If only there were a law...

...wait a minute...Kyle Weese, 25, has an extensive criminal record and is well known to police in the Leslieville neighbourhood where he lives, said Det. Sgt. Gary Giroux of the homicide squad."This is an extremely violent man with an extremely violent history." Giroux added Weese is prohibited from...

I can't wait for Mayor Miller...

...to propose rerouting all train traffic around Toronto...A 20-year-old woman is dead after being struck by a train as her younger sister and a friend looked on. The three women apparently ducked under a lowered railway crossing arm on Denison Rd. E. near Jane St. and Weston Rd. at about 11:30 p.m....

Thinning the herd

"If bile doesn't rise in your throat at the very notion of an Obama presidency, then you are NOT a conservative.""It's all about class, people. Class class class. 'Ew! Snowmobiles! Ew! A non-designer baby!! Ew! They both know how to fire guns!!!'""The cowardly careerist urban latte beta male lawyer...

Lies, damn lies... and statistics

Drugs... the victimless crime...While the rate fell provincially, in Vancouver it remained much higher at 2.41 per 100,000 people, largely due due to the number of gang-related slayings. There were 55 homicides in Vancouver last year, 19 of which were gang-related. That's about one-third of the total, significantly higher than the national ratio of one in five homicides being gang related.Corp. Dale...

Voice of Reason

"If I had been tortured -- and I have been -- my primary grievance would be against my torturers and their masters. But Messrs El-Maati, Almalki and Nureddin turned their guns on Canada, not Syria and Egypt...

"What came first..."

"...the melamine... or the egg?" -- HONG KONG (AP) -- Excessive levels of the industrial chemical melamine in Chinese eggs might be traced to feed given to chickens, the Hong Kong government said late Saturday.In an earlier egg-related food safety scare, the banned cancer-causing industrial dye, Sudan Red, was used to color egg yolk...

How Green my valley?

McDonald and the spokesman told The Canadian Press the party was unaware of the garnishment order when the Greens hired him last year in an unusual dual-contract arrangement between the party, McDonald and a company owned by McDonald's wife.Under one of the contracts, the party was obligated to pay McDonald $1 year as executive director while paying the company owned by his wife, Carol Day, $74,999...

We have seen the enemy...

...and it may be us..."King Barack the Benign, Spreader of Wealth and Healer of Planets...

Altercation, huh?

What's that... big-city speak for bloody gun battle? -- TORONTO -- Bullets flew after "an altercation" outside Duke of York Tavern on Queen St. E., just west of Leslie St., around 12:50 a.m., Toronto Police Const. Fred Scofield said. "As a result of "the altercation", we have one deceased and four people injured."Three women and two men were found with apparent gunshot wounds, a police press release...

A little late to the party...

...but she wore her best dress...Pakistani Major General Tariq Khan says military forces gained control of Loi Sam, a strategic town at the center of militant supply routes. He told reporters visiting the area Saturday that the military victory followed heavy resistance from militant fighters.Pakistani security forces have been battling al-Qaida and Taliban militants in Bajaur since August. Khan...

Hey, Scarborough... ready or not...

...here he comes... -- TORONTO -- Reacting to news that a military commission judge hearing pretrial motions had set a start date of Jan. 26, 2009, Khadr’s mother expressed delight.“Oh good,” Maha Elsamnah said from her home in Toronto. “His lawyers kept asking us to pray for the delay.”Welcome back Khadr.**********RELATED: Paging Taliban Jack LaytonNegotiate this, buck...

A severed head in a bucket?

Call me crazy... but why on earth is ANYBODY walkin' away from this on...

22 votes?

Sounds like he's the perfect replacement... for Stephane Dion. -- VANCOUVER, B.C. -- One of the federal Liberals' high-profile western MPs won a squeaker recount Friday and said he's now pondering a run at the party's race to replace leader Stephane Dion.Former NDP premier Ujjal Dosanjh, who first...

Guess again, you self-involved nobody

How about... if your child was one of the victims of this evil, hateful monster?"My scar hasn't gone away and it never will, but I know the worst is behind me. I can't imagine worse sufferings than what I have already been through."And help me out here, folks... why isn't there a single, solitary mention of the name "Gamil Gharbi"?**********UPDATE: CTV, of course, plays its own victim card"Enough....

Speak softly...

...or get beaten by a big government stick...If convicted, Pankiw can face massive fines. He could also face other orders, ranging from a forced apology to a lifetime ban on commenting about aboriginal issues. If Pankiw refuses to comply with such an order, he could serve time in jai...

Toronto police haiku...

...Gangland retribution edition...Toronto Police ServiceNews ReleaseHomicide #29/2008, Justin Brunet, 21, Update, Homicide clearedFriday, October 24, 2008 - 1:09 AMHomicide Squad416-808-7400On Wednesday, July 9, 2008, at 7:09 p.m., police received a call for a shooting near 1979 Victoria Park Avenue.See...

Another thrilling encounter...

...with our health care system.The thing is, I'm feeling a little torn about this. We finally got a family doctor after being up here since 2001... and after waiting for so long, I swore I'd be the most appreciative patient ever. That being said... I've gotta confess it sure isn't easy... and that's completely apart from my totally unreasonable general dislike of being anywhere near any hospital...

Obama campaign thrilled...

...with another huge endorsement...

Money, money, money... money

"Michelle Obama's wardrobe costs $0 because she makes it out of Grandma Madeyn's slip covers...

"What's an antonym..."

"...for racism?"“In a nutshell, this isn't government interference, it's AFN interference.”**********RELATED: Justice doesn't suck up to anyoneAs Mr. Justice Harry LaForme agonized over whether to stay on as chairman of the Indian Residential Schools Truth and Reconciliation Commission, he was faced with the question of whether he wanted to spend five years fighting for his own independence and authority.The...

Reach out and touch somebody

Where is your god now?Pakistani officials say a suspected U.S. drone has fired missiles into a tribal region in the country's northwest, killing at least five people.Security officials and witnesses say the missiles struck a religious school Thursday in a North Waziristan village near the Afghan border, a stronghold of al-Qaida and Taliban militants. Suspected U.S. drone aircraft have launched about...

The numbers game

Try to imagine what the tally would have been... if the Liberals had put 2 billion dollars into actual law enforcement... instead of the imbecilic "Farmer Bob Rifle Registry"...In 2007, 126 homicides were committed with a handgun, 16 more than in 2006. The rate of homicides committed with a handgun has more than doubled over the past 20 years. At the same time, the use of rifles/shotguns to commit...

Funny how that works, huh?

Mustafa Rizvi says he's been labeled a "traitor to Islam" for running against a Muslim MP in last week's federal election. Rizvi ran a distant third for the NDP in Mississauga-Erindale, won by Conservative Bob Dechert, who eked out a 239-vote win over Liberal incumbent Omar Alghabra.Rizvi, a 28-year-old insurance adjuster, said he's received nearly two dozen threatening phone calls since election...

I betcha Wendy Cukier's...

...gonna have a heart attack... -- CALGARY -- Members of the Canadian women's biathlon team are taking their clothes off to raise money for training and competition expenses heading into the 2010 Olympic Game...

The New Entrepreneurs

Who says kids today don't have any drive or ambition?Toronto police have cracked a shoplifting ring that used diversions to steal tens of thousands of dollars worth of merchandise from LCBO and big box stores.Since May, ring members have allegedly stolen $25,000 worth of alcohol, such as cognac and scotch, from LCBO stores across southern Ontario. They are alleged to have stolen computers, lotions...

Just say no

Sorry, folks... if we don't get to hang him... this guy should be serving, at minimum... six life sentences...A man who killed six members of the same B.C. family more than 25 years ago will face his first parole hearing Wednesday at Bowden Institution in central Alberta.In August 1982, David Ennis,...

That sound you just heard...

...is 50,000 physicists worldwide... simultaneously peeing themselves...It turns out that if you peel the popular adhesive tape off its roll in a vacuum chamber, it emits X-rays. The researchers even made an X-ray image of one of their fingers.“We were very surprised,” Juan Escobar said. “The power...

Ah... so it's only an "economic update?"

Funny how... when it's not the saintly Liberal party... it's all about lies, broken trust and Conservative "warlords"...Bias? What media bia...

Jordanian intelligentsia snorts...

"...What is this candy-ass CHRC?"However, despite the critical praise Mr Samhan has now been remanded in custody for two weeks while awaiting trial.Grand Mufti Nuh Qdah said in a recent radio interview that poetry in which words from the Koran were combined with sexual themes was "a type of atheism and blasphemy", the AFP news agency reports.The penalty in Jordan for insulting Islam or the Muslim...

From the merciful Islam files

-- KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) -- An Afghan appeals court overturned a death sentence Tuesday for a journalism student accused of blasphemy for asking questions in class about women's rights under Islam. But the judges still sentenced him to 20 years in prison.In January, a lower court sentenced him...