Rest in Peace... and obscurity

You start shilling for the Breathe-Rite Nasal Strips of the television world... you've gotta know your days as a serious journalistic enterprise are truly over... "The Real Housewives franchise comes to Canada for the first time with the promise of 'all the juiciest storylines, drama, power, wealth...

Move over Oxycontin withdrawal...

...make way for digitally deprived second-class citizens..."Once a number of zoos have iPads, Zimmerman hopes orangutans can get to 'know each other' via a video chat app. He has no doubt orangutans can recognize other orangutans when they see their images."Say, Toronto Star... not to be horribly humanist... but how about an update on Dalton McGuinty's promised doctor housecal...

Don't blame me...

...I didn't vote for 'em... • TORONTO • "Before Ontario can start reducing the web of business subsidies it distributes, it has to first figure out exactly how much money is going out — and to whom - Liberal Economic Development Minister Brad Duguid said Tuesday."Hey, Brad... maybe you can start...

Stop... or I'll yell stop again!!!

Hang on a sec... isn't one of the the definitions of insanity... doing the same thing again & again while expecting different results? • "The United Nations' main human rights body was set to condemn Syria on Tuesday for using heavy weapons on residential areas and persecuting opponents, its fourth rebuke to Assad in an 11-month uprising." • Just curious... how many starving children could...

So much for the myth...

...of the criminal mastermind...“Who is this person?” Ms. Simone asked.“I can’t tell,” said S.M., then added helpfully, “It’s my clothes.” A minute later, he elaborated: “My shoes. My cousin’s shoes. I have a hoodie like that too.”It gets better...She showed him another picture, this of a stack of money, a bank card and a scale; S.M. said half the money was his, the remainder belonging to his older...

And they had the audacity to do it...

...in February too ••• Toronto's National Post about to lose its rainbows & unicorns codetalker credentials...

That evil, controlling Stephen Harp..

...wait a minute...Interim Liberal Leader Bob Rae says one of his staffers was responsible for a series of anonymous Internet attacks aimed at Public Safety Minister Vic Toews.“I was advised yesterday that an employee of the Liberal research bureau in fact is responsible,” the chagrined Liberal chief...

The life of a modern Toronto teen

Apparently, it ain't all sockhops, sodas and greased back hair...The police dog search led police to the accused who was hiding under a porch.Police say they also found a nine-millimetre handgun.A 17-year-old is facing charges.**********RELATED: Your CBC Moonbat momentCBC Radio is still beating the sacred victimhood drum over the reformulation of Oxycontin. For those not in the loop, said reformulation...

I swear... there are boneheads...

...and then there's liber, er... 'nonny'...I usually make it a point to ignore the various iterations of mindless trollery that any blogger worth his keyboard must come to expect.Sometimes though, my biggest fan goes one toke over the line and I just have to share...The blue [click] will take you to...

You can almost...

...smell the scien...

"Let them eat hypocrisy"

Cause...“My friends, love is better than anger; hope is better than fear; optimism better than despair. So let us choose love, hope and optimism.”...and effect...“The prime minister has created a Nixonian culture. This stuff doesn’t happen unless the boss lets it happen.”“He has allowed to seep into his party and into his organization a culture of attack and, frankly, a culture of deception and dirty...

But, he's so McDreamy

Who cares if he doesn't give a crap about some silly Syrians?Well, I guess... Marie Colvin...She concluded the interview, saying: "The Syrian army is shelling a city of cold, starving civilians." The report featured an account of the death of a small child -- a child who died in front of her -- after a previous military attack."What is going on and why is no one stopping this murder in Homs?" she...

Seriously, now... it's a "migrant tragedy?"

I wonder how the widow of non-migrant transport driver Chris Fulton feels about that...Ah well, enough blather... here in fuzzy-bunny, politically correct Canauckistan... "diversity" is Job #1 & Only ..."Over the weekend, she journeyed out to the fateful intersection. She discovered no smoking gun....

In other "Crime is Down" news

• TORONTO • "One of the two brothers executed in a North York apartment building recently became a dad.""Jerome Waterman, 22, and his 18-year-old brother, Justin, were found dead of multiple gunshot wounds in an apartment complex on Family Day."And while we're on families...Toronto Police have...

You mean like the coal plants...

...Dalton McGuinty keeps promising to shut down? • NATURE - Sunday, Feb. 19, 2012 • One of the world’s top climate scientists has calculated that emissions from Alberta’s oil sands are unlikely to make a big difference to global warming and that the real threat to the planet comes from burning coal.“The conventional and unconventional oil is not the problem with global warming,” Dr. Weaver said....

Bright lights, big city

Detectives busily rounding up farmers, deer hunters & skeet shooters as we speak..."A man was rushed to hospital after he was shot in the arm in Etobicoke Sunday afternoon. Police say the shooting took place around 4 p.m. on Tandridge Crescent near Islington Avenue and Elmhurst Drive.""Police haven't released any information about a possible suspect and say it's too early to tell whether the...

Well, of course they did...

...it's British Columbia.**********FROM THE COMMENTS:"Asinine nannystatism. Where the alcholics go to live in sunshine and the fog of free drinks."And..."So now that B.C. has determined that penalties for alcohol consumption don't work, are they going to get rid of the 'sin tax' associated with it?"**********MORE WEST COAST STORY:"For the next two years, the recipients will report to a heavily secured...

Junkie see, junkie do

I'm thinkin' Oprah and Diane Sawyer had better start hustlin' if they wanna get that crucial... "How I turned my life around" interview...Before it's too la...

Once again, compassionate, intellectual...

...left manages to ignore Jack Layton's message of love & respect...And look who decided to pile on...Most MPs kept their distances from the Twitter attack but Liberal MP Justin Trudeau quickly embraced it and made a point of republishing the account name of the anonymous feed for his more than...

Playing by big city rules

"It’s alleged that Mr. Mark was killed – shot once in the back of his head as he walked to work on Dec. 29, 2009, headphones on — purely and simply because he had broken the code of silence, co-operated with Toronto police and testified in court against Mr. Skeete and his brother in an earlier proceedin...

The Toronto Star aka X'pertz R'Us

Now, I'm no "addiction expert"... but would a hooker shortage be classified as a "social relations" emergency? • Megan Ogilvie - Health Reporter • "The narcotic painkiller OxyContin will soon be pulled from pharmacy shelves across the country, and 'addiction experts' warn the move will spark a public health crisis in Northern Ontario where thousands of people in remote communities face involuntary...

Uh... transparency is for "little people"...

...or what the legal system refers to as "consciousness of guil...

Compassionate, intellectual future...

...is closer than you think..."The newspaper reported that the four-year-old girl brought a turkey and cheese sandwich, a banana, potato chips and apple juice in her packed lunch from home. That meal didn’t meet with approval from the government agent who was on site inspecting kids’ lunches that day."Government intervention in our children's lives? That sounds so familiar..."No wonder little Emma...

The NEW New Democratic Party

...making it up as they go...Rathika Sitsabaiesan, at 31 the youngest MP in the Toronto area and the first MP of Tamil heritage, was elected last year to represent Scarborough-Rouge River. She won the seat previously held by Liberal Derek Lee quite handily (by 5,000 votes).Now I'm guessing there's nothing a newly minted Member of Parliament wants more, than to really shine on their first taxpayer-subsidised...

Iran, yet again, scampers up on EU porch...

...yells grade school threats through open window... and runs away...Iran’s Mehr News Agency said that the ambassadors of six European nations had been summoned by the foreign ministry to warn they must extend their long term oil contracts or face having imports cutoff.Earlier, Iran’s English language Press TV had said Tehran has stopped exporting oil to France, Portugal, Italy, Greece, Netherlands...

I dunno... maybe all those Occubots...

...have some sort of magical immunity..."A 400-milligram vial of Avastin — the size that was counterfeited — costs $2,400, according to the Genentech spokeswoman."Anyway, enough about boring ol' cancer... let's get back to fighting the oppressors..."Occupy Wall Street supporter Russell Simmons was quick to make amends after he and a brunette model briefly occupied a bathroom stall together at a glamorous...

Playing by McSlippery rules

Don't blame me... I didn't vote for him...The subdivision– festooned with warrior flags, still occupied by militants, featuring a burnt-out tractor trailer and hydro tower barricade– sits undeveloped and untouchable, as do nearby yet-be-wired hydro towers, as a reminder of mistakes made and perpetuated. It has been six years of lost economic opportunity across Haldimand, Brantford, and Brant as businesses,...

Actually, the bigger question here is...

...when Mini-Pierre establishes his sovereign Empire of Quebec, will his wife be able to keep her Canadian E-Talk gig?**********COMPASSIONATE INTELLECTUAL LEFT REPLIES:"At least Quebec can get out when Harper makes Canada an unrecognizable fascist police state."Posted by Anonymous to halls of macadamia...

Poor Leroy Smickle... got himself in a pickle

For right now, anyway, his "crime" is his punishment..."When officers burst in, he was on the couch in boxer shorts, tank top and sunglasses, a pistol in his left hand and a laptop computer in his right, apparently taking pictures of himself looking 'cool' for his Facebook page."It's funny though, how...

Compassionate, intellectual left replies...

Once again, the dirty tricks people reveal their inner Machiavelli...“We should hire private investigators to look into the personal lives of Fox News anchors, hosts, reporters, prominent contributors, senior network and corporate staff.”No real surprises... sleight of hand & misdirection are their...

Well... that explains why Itunes...

...crashed last night...

Journalism's Golden Rule... if it bleeds...

...(or drowns in its own vomit)... it leads...Of course, there's also (barring, for example, actually dropping that baby off the balcony) a certain amount of obligatory celebrity ass-kissing/ rationalisation going on...Price added that Houston "didn't look like she was under the influence of anything....

C'mon now... let's not assume anything

Do you have any idea how many Alfred Apps there must be in the local phonebook..."Alfred Apps, the key legal adviser to Ornge, is resigning from Fasken and joining Wildeboer Dellelce, the law firm where his brother, Eric, also practises."Wait a minute...

Really, Ron... a group?

A group of what... farmers, deer hunters or skeet shooters? • TORONTO • Two suspects and a man wounded in an apparent daytime gun battle at an Etobicoke high-rise complex aren’t cooperating with police.That leaves Toronto Police suspecting the 1:50 p.m. Thursday shooting is part of some sort of push into Tandridge Cres., in the Albion Rd.-Hwy. 401 area, by a group from Dixon Rd.Hmmm, that's a...

I'm guessing it's almost as brutal...

...as lacrosse..."In a development drawing horror, amusement and skepticism, a group of Torontonians has formed a team and joined the California-based Ultimate Tazer Ball league."A website? Of course they do.But that's not where the real entertainment lies...

I blame Stephen Harper

“I have to go to Canada, for the well-being of my husband,” she said, adding that she has not heard from Canadian officials.Hmmm... maybe she could bunk in with Lisa Laflamme.********** FROM THE COMMENTS:"So let me get this straight: a foreigner gets hurt in Canada, it's our government's responsibility to reach out to his family back home; a Canadian gets hurt in a foreign land, it's our government's...

A teenagers delight...

...or a society's downfall?Sites such as Twitter and Facebook represent a virtual world in which Saudis are free to share opinions, ideas and develop relationships, a fact that recently prompted the top Saudi cleric to denounce them as “a great danger.”Those darn intertoobs.Meanwhile... back at the ranch...

Hope, Change and...

...lots of "consideration"...The United States said it was considering ways to get food and medicine to them - a move that would deepen international involvement in a conflict which has wide geopolitical dimensions and has caused division between world powers.So who's more useless... the United Nations or the United States?A Syrian doctor, struggling to treat the wounded at a field clinic in a mosque,...

It was a made for CTV story...

...and they surely milked the shit out of it... poor migrant farm workers, killed en-mass... betrayed by their Canadian dream.Lisa LaFlamme, heir to the corpse that was Lloyd Robertson... in their lead story on national television last night... called upon not one, but two separate reporters... to make media hay out of the bloody, battered corpses in the demolished van. The subtext of the story was,...

Once again, the Toronto "Red" Star...

...attempts to mythologise a dangerous sociopath..."Michael Eligon Jr. remains mostly a man of mystery several days after he was fatally shot in a confrontation with police while wearing a hospital gown on an east-end street, blocks from the hospital."The implication here is that, somehow... this poor guy was taken down by a police death squad... but even the rainbows & unicorns journos at the...

Surprise, surprise... he lied about Gitmo...

...and suddenly, he's okay with all that "dirty" money...“Yet again, Barack Obama has proven he will literally do anything to win an election, including changing positions on the type of campaign spending he called nothing short of ‘a threat to our democracy.’” I can't wait to hear the MSM and the pinkosphere start yammering about President McDreamy's "flexibility."If there's anything that's a ‘a...

Yeah, a curfew...

...that's the answer... • NEW ORLEANS • Officials here are considering tightening a youth curfew in the latest attempt to fight crime in a city with the nation's highest murder rate and what its mayor has called "a culture of deat...

Oh relax, lady... if someone at the CBC...

...hasn't already put together a half dozen movie treatments... I'll eat my hat...When Mr. Sharif was arrested, his bags had been packed. Ms. Rain plays down all this now, saying the arguments often stemmed from misunderstandings – his English was limited.“Despite all of our arguments, we always started our morning making each other coffee and making breakfast together, for each other,” she said.Terrorism......

Dear Toronto "Red" Star... let's face it...

...this is exactly why Torontonians elected this guy...Mayor Rob Ford has squeezed unprecedented concessions out of 6,000 city workers in a tentative contract that puts other unions on notice and guarantees more outsourcing and layoffs.Mark Ferguson, president of CUPE Local 416 said his team had made “numerous concessions” to avoid a lockout or strike. He has said outside workers “learned our lesson”...

That's just the way it is...

...baby...According to the Alberta government, the province's employment growth has accounted for 61.6 per cent of Canada's employment growth in the past 12 months."While other regions are simply treading water, Alberta seems to be hanging on to its hiring momentum. We expect this trend to continue throughout 2012," said TD Economi...

Canadian trifecta of political correctness...

...missed it... by that much..."Haitian-born killer taught respect for women by aboriginal elders."If only this poor dear had a wheelchair... or a learning disability.Oh yeah... Gregory's little act of disrespect?He stabbed 15-year-old Tara Manning 51 times.**********RELATED: How about we rename it......the "War on Stupidit...

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"At $73,000 per year, where can I sign up to become a 2nd class citize...

From the folks who brought you...

..."Little Subsidy on the Airwaves"..."The benefit of the Chop-o-matic is that it has multiple settings, and the opportunity we do have is the fact that we can offer people chopping when they need it.""It's not necessarily just what you see in the kitchen, I think that's a really small view, I think you have to look at what the Chop-o-matic services overall, it's quite a wide variety...."Don't miss...

Egypt's amazing Arab Spring...

...apparently not quite there just yet... • (CBS/AP) EL-ARISH, Egypt • Bedouin gunmen intercepted a tourist minivan and snatched two female American tourists and their Egyptian guide at gunpoint Friday near St. Catherine's Monastery in the Sinai Peninsula, the region's security chief said. The brazen daylight abduction along a busy highway was a new blow to Egypt's vital tourism industry, which...

Hang on, Mr Prosecutor...

...you're saying, what... the guys with the molotov cocktails... they're the victims?Man... we've just gotta do something about all those gun-crazy, dumb as dogshit country boys... wait a minute..."That’s at least 352,000 icky firearms, right in the Toronto Star‘s backyard. For a paper still trying to wrap their minds around a Harper majority and a Rob Ford mayoralty, it’s gotta be a tough pill to...

Remember... Israel doesn't bluff

"Any facility protected by humans can be infiltrated by humans. It's possible to strike all Iran's facilities, and I say that out of my experience as IDF chief of staf...

When booing just isn't enough

"At least 74 people have been killed and 1,000 injured after a football pitch invasion in Egypt, according to reports."**********UPDATE: More G&M "lipstick on pig" journalismThe mighty Globe & Mail now claims that Egyptians are "outraged" by the massacre... inconveniently forgetting that the...

More sparkly socio-political gems...

...courtesy of the Globe & Mail...And I quote... • "No mention of the stench of Canadian bacon." • Who says professional journalism is ea...