Look who's back in the news

Another alumnus of Ontario's fuzzy-bunny "catch and release" program...Francis was convicted in the shooting death of Georgina "Vivi" Leimonis, in what became known as the Just Desserts murder on April 5, 1994 in Toronto. A jury found him guilty of manslaughter and robbery after a trial that heard...

CTV...

Is gonna lose their "lefty decoder ring" over this one... "At least we're learning which bunch of rubes is being fooled." "Coming next -- an Obama adviser tells the Iraqi government not to pay attention to his troop-withdrawal talk...

You know what they say...

No good deed... goes unpunished. -- TORONTO -- Members of the city's Hispanic community say they feel betrayed after rallying to raise $37,000 to buy prosthetic arms for a local talk radio host who has been charged with smuggling $300,000 in heroin through Pearson airport."We feel suffering and pain of being betrayed," Valladares said. "The community opened our hearts and pockets to help him."You...

Yeah, Ghazi... I know

What's a few thousand rockets between friends? -- Jerusalem -- "So I think Israel tries to make Gaza sink in the ocean of blood and tears and suffering," said Hamas official Ghazi Hamad. "And maybe it tried to impose some collective punishment against the Palestinian people."Of course, there's no "right response" here. Hamas is obviously looking to provoke disproportionate Israeli retaliation......

Thar's gold...

On that thar hill. -- OTTAWA -- Members of Parliament are set to edge further into the top one per cent of Canadian income-earners with a $4,600 pay hike April 1 that will take their minimum salaries to $155,400 annually.That's a lotta scratch for a 27 week work year."Being elected to Parliament is better than winning the lottery," said John Williamson, national director of the Canadian Taxpayers...

George Smitherman backs down

Says he's very, very sorry... for talkin', well... all that shit...Ontario's health minister has apologized for suggesting he might wear an adult diaper in an effort to understand the plight of incontinent nursing-home residents."If people were offended or think that I shouldn't have raised those comments, I do apologize."Perhaps Georgie was feeling a little sheepish... at the outrageous suggestion...

Panache

"When asked if he had 'referred to Jesse Jackson as an ignoramus,' Buckley said, 'If I didn't, I should have....

Uh, Jason... you're doing it again

Another big expose of alleged, unseemly activity by Sherlock Cherniak... who, I would have thought, was still in terrible pain from stepping on his own dick just the other day..."Harper knew over two-years ago", blares Cherniak's headline."I suspect Mr. Harper will learn very quickly that it is better to call in the RCMP when you learn of such allegations. Otherwise, the story is bound to get worse."So...

Doing life...

On the "installment plan". -- KINGSTON -- A 20-year-old Kingston man who left his probation papers at the scene of his latest crime will have six months to consider whether he's chosen the right career path.Andrew D. Oatway pleaded guilty in Kingston's Ontario Court of Justice to a Jan. 25 break-in and theft from Dino's Barber Shop, two violations of the probation he received Nov. 16 for an earlier...

Predatorus Interruptus

Well, boys... that's the way the jihad crumbles... -- PESHAWAR, Pakistan, Feb. 28 -- A missile strike on a suspected Taliban safe house in a remote tribal area of northwest Pakistan killed at least 10 people early Thursday, according to residents and local officials.Ain't technology a wonderful thing?The attack targeted a home in Kaloosha village in volatile South Waziristan, near the Afghan border....

They also serve...

Who only stand and yap...I hear talk from the NDP and the Bloc saying that we need to get our troops out of there. Yet, these very parties are the ones who claim to represent women. They claim to represent children, the marginalized, the poor and the disabled. However, if we withdraw our troops from Afghanistan, what will Afghans be left with? They will be living in fear of the Taliban.Make no mistake...

Looks like every one...

Of Dalton McSlippery's cabinet ministers... is wearing those adult diapers. -- TORONTO -- Aboriginal Affairs Minister Michael Bryant is marking the second-year anniversary of the Six Nations occupation in Caledonia with a series of messages on YouTube.In the amateur video messages, shot in various locations around the southwestern Ontario town, Mr. Bryant pleads for patience and understanding.Hey,...

I have just one question...

Where's my "We're Adaptable" t-shir...

Walk softly and carry...

A BIG SHTICK...“Every Liberal in the chamber will be voting against the budget,” Mr. Dion told his caucus Wednesday.Of course... there's just one small cavea...

They do say it's very important...

For seniors to stay active...Wong was arrested last Wednesday at a condo building in Richmond Hill. His mother, Hong Wen Wang, 75, was arrested in December at a home on Thoroughbred Way, Markham.All are charged with production of a controlled substance, possession for the purpose of trafficking, possession of stolen property and weapons charges.It's like I always say... "Register Grannies... not ...

Oh, Jason...

Not again...Well, I tried.**********POSTSCRIPT: And, of course, there's this..."Too bad the apology doesn't take the time to mention who is still lurking in the halls of parliament, looking for an opportunity to send out personal information of any Conservative who looks vulnerable...

Hey, Georgie... what's next...

An in-depth investigation of internet porn? -- TORONTO -- Health Minister George Smitherman says he's “seriously considering” wearing an adult diaper to see if it's adequate for Ontario seniors.He was responding to complaints that Ontario seniors are wearing soiled diapers for hours on end because nursing homes in the province aren't meeting proper standards of care.Maybe he could look into safe-injection...

False alarm... everybody settle down

Turns out it wasn't Lloyd after all.**********In other CTV news..."The Gospel... according to Fife."I've gotta say, Steffi... that sounds a little extreme. Have you talked this one over with Iggy and Commie Bo...

Yeah, Dalton... you're so right

We sure wouldn't want any government input, or oversight... of something like this...Egyptian-born Mahmoud Jaballah came to Canada in 1996 on a false Saudi passport and claimed refugee status. Along with his wife Husnah Al-Mashtoul they founded and ran the Um Al-Qura Islamic school located in Scarborough,...

Live and DON'T learn

Not to be overly nitpicky here, but... all the family pets fall victim to predation... it might be time to pack up and find a nicer place to live...A Kuranda couple fears for their children's safety after a 5m python devoured their dog in front of them, just weeks after other snakes killed their cat and guinea pig. Daniel Peric said he now would not leave his two children, aged five and seven, alone...

I'm not much on religion...

But this one cries out for a biblical quote... you know... something about "reaping what you sow..."A shopkeeper from Lancashire has been told he will not face a murder charge after a man who tried to rob him was stabbed to death with his own knife.Liam Kilroe, 25, from Billinge, near St Helens, Merseyside, was wanted by police when he was killed in Skelmersdale on 17 February.Yup... it couldn't have...

Mount Cherniak erupts yet again

"I'm still working on the proof... but I'm gonna spew all this defamatory shit anyway...""I must also stress that I am not accusing the Conservative Party of some sort of anti-Estonian bias."Well, Jason... that's a relief, but really... is that what they taught you about "evidentiary issues" at the...

Our very limited attention span...

May very well be the death of us...On Feb. 26, 1993, a bomb exploded in the garage of New York's World Trade Center, killing six people and injuring more than 1,000 others.Unfortunately, shortly after that grim event... we forgot all about these "busy little beavers"... with the result that eight years later, some 3,000 innocent victims paid a devastating price.And so, on this grim anniversary, it...

Eight hours to see a doctor...

In the local hospital emergency room... but the good news in Ontario... for murderers anyway... is that Dalton's got your back...Andre Marin also faults Legal Aid Ontario for a culture in which no one seems to care about taxpayer dollars.More than $1 million in taxpayer dollars went to pay for seven different lawyers for Wills, who was able to get legal aid from the province by divesting himself of...

Music to my ears

"You gotta know when to hold 'em... know when to fold 'em..."Punch line...Some Liberal senators vowed at the time to ignore the warning.That sounds so familia...

Six Unimportant Things

I've been tagged by Blazing Cat Fur.Okay... I'll play.Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.1. I couldn't eat a raisin to save my life 2. When I'm alone, I talk to the rabbit3. On warm sunny days, I miss having a motorcycle4. If I could redo school, this time I'd pay attention5. My wife got all the patience in this family6. I wish I could do a backflip**********Now, let's...

Geez, Darcey...

I'm a little concerned... I mean... "Where are you gonna get a harpoon, on such short notice?" -- "sereousle u hav noooo fuckn clue what you got your self into get anybody u want no one is gonna stop me from kickn the fuck out of you tell the whole world i dont give a fuck if i go to jail or not...

Who are they giving this test to?

A bunch of 8 year-old kids?SIZING UP CULTURAL INTELLIGENCEHere are sample statements used to measure cultural intelligence. Subjects are asked whether they strongly agree, agree, disagree or strongly disagree.A) I am good at understanding other people's feelings.B) I accept delays without becoming upset.C) Ordinarily, I am very calm and relaxed in conversations with a person from a different culture.D)...

Sure, let's repatriate Omar Khadr

Right back to his chosen country of Holy Jihad...Liberal MP Dominic LeBlanc said the Khadr family may be thought of as "synonymous with terrorism," and that makes it a difficult case.Difficult, Dominic?Only for the party that sprung his terrorist Daddy out of a Pakistani jail.**********DADDY DEAREST:...

They are Stardust

I dreamed I saw the bombers...Riding shotgun in the sky...Turning into butterflies...Above our nation**********BONUS RIFF: Secret Jihadi plan unveiled"First... we kill all the really smart, good looking people."**********LAST WORD: Yup... just like the MahatmaJamal al-Khoudary the Palestinian independent lawmaker who organized the protest says it was meant to send a signal of non-violent resistance...

Save us...

Oh, wonderful Daddy..."So we don’t have to work to improve our souls. Our broken souls can be fixed — by our voting for Barack Obama. We don’t have to fight or sacrifice to help our country. Our uninvolved and uninformed lives can be changed — by our choosing Barack Obama." "America can become a nation to be proud of — by letting ourselves be led by Barack Obama...

"Oh, Lucy... joo got some 'splainin to do"

I just can't get the phrase, "Be careful what you wish for" outta my head."Warman might think that this is another episode of him shooting fish in a barrel. But that’s probably what poor Shirlene McGovern thought, too – I was just another politically incorrect chump to rough up.""I don’t think I’m going to be like the easy pickings that Warman is used to fighting. While my top gun lawyers are taking...

Lululululululululululu!!!

Anybody catch the world's first global internet fatwa? -- PAKISTAN -- Pakistan's attempts to block access to YouTube has been blamed for an almost global blackout of the video website for more than an hour on Sunday.Pakistan ordered internet service providers to block the site because of content deemed offensive to Islam.The BBC News website's technology editor, Darren Waters, says that to block...

"Federal carbon tax proposed"

I see the freakin' headline and my first thought is... Stephen Harper's had a stroke!!! Turns out though, it's just the pinko media playing parlour games again...OTTAWA - A carbon tax of $30 a tonne, three times higher than the tax announced last week by the B.C. government, would be part of Tuesday's federal budget if the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives had its way.And who exactly is the...

Toronto's latest murder

A mother has been charged with murdering her infant daughter after the youngster was found dead in the family's downtown Toronto home Saturday night.Xin Lei Huang, who was just 40 days old, was found dead in a Manning Ave. home, near Bathurst St. and Queen St. W., where paramedics were responding to a call for a baby not breathing just before 9 p.m., Toronto Police homicide Det.-Sgt. Gary Grinton...

Out with the old...

In with Mr. Liverspot...

More rewards for the faithful

Once again... the capricious, unknowable "Will of Allah". -- BAGHDAD -- A suicide bomber struck Shiite pilgrims as they were resting Sunday during a days-long walk to a Shiite shrine, killing at least 25 people and wounding 35.Earlier, extremists attacked another group of pilgrims in the predominantly Sunni Baghdad neighbourhood of Dora, killing three and wounding 36, police said.The attacks heightened...

Well, because...

The little man who lives in his pocket... says we have to. -- TEHRAN, Iran -- Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called on the United States and its allies Saturday to “apologize” for accusing Iran of seeking nuclear weapons, a day after the UN nuclear watchdog released its latest report on Iran.Mr....

I'm sitting here watching...

All the crowing and moaning in the media and the blogosphere... about John Tory taking a mere two thirds of the leadership vote... and I'm not sure what all the fuss is about.Does anybody imagine, in their wildest dreams, that Stephane Dion would come anywhere close to that particular number if his alleged "leadership" were up for review?The fact that Tory did this well, despite an organised campaign...

Note to Mayor David Miller...

Remember to alert the Toronto Fire Department AND the Emergency Task Force...Serbian Canadians plan to take to the streets of several cities over the next couple of weekends to protest Kosovo's move to declare independence from Serbia.Nick Giacobbe, a spokesman for the American consulate, says officials have been in touch with the Mounties and Toronto police about protecting the legation, which he...

Canadian military renews call...

For more "ass in the grass"..."If countries like Germany and France were not so afraid of committing forces, this problem would be solved readily," Major Richard Moffet, deputy commander of Canada's battle group, said in an interview.Maybe Turkey could spare a few bodies...A senior Turkish military source told Reuters two brigades made up of around 8,000 troops are taking part, though Iraqi officials...

Remember when you were a kid...

And people were being shot to death all over the place?Yeah... me neither.The murder victim, in his mid-20s, was found on his back bleeding from the neck in the family room of the mid-50s bungalow on the corner of Golfhaven and Mossbank Drs."My wife said she saw up to seven guys run out and get into two cars and drive away towards Lawrence Ave."Several shell casings were reported to have been found...

Take a pill, huh?

Her decorators and caterers also transformed rooms in her San Francisco Bay-area home into a "Betty Ford Clinic," where guests snacked on cookies shaped like Valium pills and Prozac capsules, and "Dick Cheney's Hunting Lounge," adorned with fake taxidermic human heads and staffed with waiters serving quail. In addition to her jabs at Mr. Cheney and Mr. Bush, she ribbed Clinton supporters by bringing...

Hang 'em high

I can't get over what passes for jurisprudence in Bin-Laden's old neighbourhood...Prosecutors in Saudi Arabia have begun investigating 57 young men who were arrested on Thursday for flirting with girls at shopping centres in Mecca.The men are accused of wearing indecent clothes, playing loud music and dancing in order to attract the attention of girls, the Saudi Gazette reported.Perhaps I'd feel differently...

Michelle Obama's Ivory Tower

Is this what all the secrecy was about?To research her thesis, the future Mrs. Obama sent an 18-question survey to a sampling of 400 black Princeton graduates, requesting the respondents define the amount of time and "comfort" level spent interacting with blacks and whites before they attended the school, as well as during and after their University years.Politico has the whole thesis.**********RELATED:...

C'mon Jason...

Anybody can "freak out their ex"... it takes a real artiste to freak out every single member of their entire extended famil...

The Harper government...

Is shining a pretty bright light on homegrown terror...The case against a group of Canadian prisoners sometimes referred to as “the secret trial five” isn't as secret as it used to be.Ottawa yesterday unveiled a string of more specific allegations against five terror suspects, detailing, for example,...

You really wanna know...

Why aboriginal negotiations are... 'always in the shitter'... so to speak?On Jan. 30, two plainclothes officers with the OPP's Major Event Liaison Team arrived at the Thurlow Aggregates quarry on Deseronto Road and asked to speak with protest organizers.They were told to return to the site after dark - around 8 p.m. - for a meeting with "elders", according to police.Speaking to The Intelligencer shortly...

That might work...

Out here in the sticks, but tell me... "Do the teachers in Toronto get a 'kevlar allowance'?""Students actually enjoy being here. It's a positive experience for them." This is the new look for school suspensions that went into effect Feb. 1 across Ontario, as a kinder, gentler code of discipline that emphasizes prevention.Good grie...

Remember the recent stories...

About the McSlippery government's billion dollars in cost overruns... to build Ontario hospitals?Quinte Health Care may have paid at least $2 million more than necessary for its new MRI machine and installation costs, says a Belleville businessman who deals in the imaging machines.Maybe having an open, competitive bidding process would save the taxpayers a little pocket change.Syed Haider, who has...

Brave new programming... at the CBC

Screw constitutional democracy... apparently, the next step is to hire some mercenaries...General Koreshi: "I would like to ask you, if media starts a campaign, in your country, against your President or Prime Minister, will he just get up and leave?"**********LAST WORD: That's the way... uh-huh, uh-huh..."We interrupt this report on the last remaining meter of Arctic sea ice to bring you live footage...

Let's just hope...

Curly, Larry and Steffi have their thinking caps on... -- OTTAWA -- Parliament should give "overwhelming" support to an extension of Canada's mission in Afghanistan or risk the wrath of an enemy that strikes at weakness, the country's top soldier said Friday.He warned that the Taliban are watching...

"Give me the heat, bro."

More mindless, fuzzy-bunny pap from the Big Smoke...Zekarias, who has no previous criminal convictions, was supported in court yesterday by 15 family members and friends, many with professional careers. They said they are willing to act as sureties for him, stressing he's "not a danger to society."I'm...

Looks like Mooky...

Is not completely kooky...Shia cleric Moqtada Sadr has ordered the renewal of the ceasefire his powerful militia has been observing for the past six months.He announced in August that his Mehdi Army would not attack rival armed groups or American forces in Iraq.**********RELATED: More good news... from PakistanIn the last provincial elections in Pakistan's Northwest Frontier Province, a coalition...

Hey, Poverty Boy...

I've got a room for you... at the Crowbar Motel. -- VANCOUVER -- Anti-poverty activists have vandalized the inside of the Vancouver constituency office of B.C. Premier Gordon Campbell.David Cunningham of the Anti-Poverty Committee says paint in the Olympic colours was splashed inside the office to protest against the 2010 Games and the lack of social housing.**********FROM THE COMMENTS:All these...

How about we delegate the NDP...

To make sure these unfortunate fellows... get all their "charter rights"... -- KANDAHAR, Afghanistan -- A “terrorist cell” responsible for three deadly bombings in Kandahar province that killed more than 100 people and wounded scores more has been brought down in Kandahar, the province's governor said Thursday.Ten people have been arrested and more arrests are likely, Gov. Asadullah Khalid said.And...

A SICKO roadmap

A detailed map highlighting the world's hotspots for emerging infectious diseases (EIDs) has been released.Researchers from the Zoological Society of London (ZSL), and the US-based University of Georgia and Columbia University's Earth Institute analysed 335 emerging diseases from 1940 to 2004.They then...

You might as well try...

To reason with a cat. -- BELGRADE -- Serb rioters set fire to an office inside the U.S. Embassy Thursday and police clashed with protesters outside other embassy buildings after a large demonstration against Kosovo's declaration of independence.Who are these people?**********UPDATE: CBC reporting 1 dead... inside U.S. embassy"The body was found at the part of the building set on fire by the protesters,"...

QOTD

"Do they even make kneepads that size...

Thank goodness for wood heat

Of course... not everybody has that option...Since 2003, the average gas bill for British Gas customers has risen by 76.7% to £653, according to consumer group Energywatch.Electricity bills have risen by 74.3%, to £413.Here at the Halls... we heat almost exclusively with wood. There's a 20 acre patch of mixed bush out back, that hopefully, will take care of our needs... well into the future.I suppose...

The future's so bright...

He's gotta wear shades, er... aboriginal coloured glasses... -- CALEDONIA -- If Sam Gualtieri had died when he was attacked by a pack of goons last year, would Premier Dalton McGuinty have come down for his funeral?That was the main question people here asked yesterday.Another: If Gualtieri had become Caledonia's Dudley George, would McGuinty have called a multimillion-dollar inquiry to get to...