09 October 2006

North Korea blows it

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IRONY ALERT UPDATE: A 10 on the "Clueless Cluck" scale

It appears to have escaped Kim Jong-Il's notice that he is a portly dwarf, with a demon-spawned hairdo that would scare Boy George off drugs forever.
The North Korean regime's obsession with racial purity has led to the killing of disabled infants and forced abortions for women suspected of conceiving their babies by Chinese fathers, according to a growing body of testimony from defectors.
Now, call me crazy, but wouldn't one of the building blocks of a "superior race" be proper nutrition?

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Early indications are, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Il, who is apparently determined to turn North Korea into the geopolitical & economic equivalent of Haiti, went ahead and pulled the atomic trigger.
"The nuclear test was conducted 100 percent by our own wisdom and technology," the agency stressed. "This test proved as a source of big encouragement and happiness for our army and people who yearned for strong self defense ability."
Not as much much as they yearn for 1000 calories a day, I'm guessing.
Only last month the World Food Programme launched an urgent appeal for more emergency funds, saying that more than one third of the nation's children are badly malnourished.

North Korea suffered famine for several years starting in 1995 which killed hundreds of thousands of people and left survivors subsisting on leaves, tree bark and whatever else they could glean.
But they're not just about the big bang & mandatory dieting, according to the U.S. State Department.
It cited extrajudicial killings, disappearances and arbitrary detention including many political prisoners; harsh and life-threatening prison conditions; torture, forced abortions and infanticide in prisons; severe punishment of some repatriated refugees: the absence of freedom of speech or religion and "government attempts to control all information."
Maybe Kim Jong Il did this, in spite of worldwide upset, just to show he's a big kahuna. Or perhaps Osama wouldn't leave 10 percent down without proof that he's getting the real deal.

Then again, if you go with Occam's razor and what is generally known about Kimbo, it's because he's totally, certifiably, round the bend batshit.

The fact is though, if this is the real deal... there's no putting this genie back in the bottle.

UPDATE: No problem,
the UN will fix this up
North Korea's UN ambassador said the UN Security Council should congratulate his country instead of passing “useless” resolutions or statements.

Ambassador Pak Gil Yon told reporters he was proud of the North Koreans who conducted the test and said it will contribute “to the maintenance and guarantee of peace and security in the peninsula and the region.”
THE BOYS AT CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN ARE ALL HIGH-FIVIN' EACH OTHER - THAT CAN'T BE GOOD

Crazymeter spins off the dial
“We hope the situation will be resolved before an unfortunate incident of us firing a nuclear missile comes,” the unnamed official said Monday, according to a Yonhap report from Beijing.
“That depends on how the U.S. will act.”

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