11 October 2006

Stephane Dion capable of shame

In a development that appeared to take his campaign staff totally by surprise, Stephane Dion, in stark contrast to the other Liberal Leadership hopefuls, was seen displaying disturbing vestiges of a moral compass.
Yesterday, Liberal leadership hopeful and former environment minister, Stephane Dion, said he worries the Harper government "will only pretend to do something." Dion actually appeared to blush after he said that. After all, he would know about pretending.

Two weeks ago, Canada's Environment Commissioner came out with a report slamming the Liberals for doing virtually nothing about meeting Kyoto targets or improving the environment.
While none of the Dion staffers was willing to comment on the record, a liberal party insider was quoted as saying there was talk of rushing Mr. Dion back to the "Chretien Center for Mortal Soul Cryonics" located in Shawinigan, Quebec for emergency surgery.

UPDATE: Emergency transfusion saves wavering Dion

Fortunately, like all Liberal candidates, Dion carries around a litre of Jean Chretien's blood for emergency spine-stiffening situations.

The trick, as with most "liberal juju", is not administering an overdose...
Referring to NATO and Canadian military commanders who declared victory in a recent military engagement against the Taliban, he said: "We see now that we won nothing . . . There is no way we can win this war."
When a reporter attempted to ask the candidate a followup question as he was leaving the room, Dion started screaming, "De troot is de troot!!!"... grabbing the unfortunate scribe by the head and throwing him to the floor.

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