"EAT ME!!!"

"Township officials have said it's not an anti-zombie issue, but pro-zoning rules."These guys aren't dummies... we've all seen what happens when you piss off the Zombie-American "Community." ********** RELATED: As SDA would say... "Let me fix that headline for you."Perhaps the "professional" journalists...

And Winston Churchill wept

A 350-pound British woman claims it’s not her fault she’s morbidly obese — it’s because the government doesn’t give her enough money.Why that's terrible... this poor woman is being victimised by the... wait a minute...Briggs already receives almost $36,000 a year from the governme...

Those damn Mennonites...

...are at it again...Police said the victim of the brazen, 3:30 p.m. shooting -- also a young man -- is not being much help to investigators and refusing to provide much detail. In fact, he cursed at police in the back of the ambulance when they grilled him for information. Police arrested two men, allegedly affiliated with the Crips street gang, at the scene on Friday afternoon. The men, believed...

What's the mainstream equivalent...

...of Ferguson, Missouri... An Ohio homeowner was ordered by town officials to remove a Nativity scene in front of his house that featured zombies instead of wise men and a baby Jesus. "I wanted a Nativity and I worked with what I had," Jasen Dixon, who manages a nearby haunted house, told Fox 19."So...

Mayor Theodore Hoskins, Berkeley, Missouri...

Dear Sir... Here at Acme Insurance and Loan we pride ourselves on our service and congeniality. Therefore, it is with no small regret that we inform you that we will no longer be able to conduct business with the city of Berkeley. Our policies with your sister city of Ferguson have forced Acme Insurance into Chapter 11. It saddens us to have to close down after 121 years in business, but as you...

So, Premier Wynne...

..., you'll pay for the coverup, but not the actual crime... I'm not sure that I follow the logic here...Premier Kathleen Wynne's press secretary says in a statement that the Ontario Liberal Party executive council voted Monday to cover the payment so no tax dollars go toward work currently under police...

The short answer is...

...people die...Oh, right... the question is... "What happens when you let sympathy cloud what should be the straightforward balancing of an equation? The Eaton Centre shooter was released on bail... TWICE... before he went on to commit multiple murders and maimings. The legal system isn't just broken......

Dear Gays against Israeli Apartheid...

If this guy could do it all over again... (and he can't, because he's, well, uh... dead)... I'm guessing he would gladly make his home in Tel Aviv... In a statement which accompanied the images, ISIS said "the Islamic court in Wilayet al-Furat decided that a man who has practised sodomy must be thrown...

I guess they think...

...it's what Trayvon would've wanted...It’s not the only apparent link between the “dead cops” chant and the Trayvon Martin Organizing Committee. At the beginning of the video and before the call to kill police, you can hear what sounds like, “arms up, shoot back!” That slogan appears on TMOC’s Twitter...

Less Justin Trudeau... more Dillon Hillier

********** DEAR PROFESSIONAL JOURNALISTS: This is why we don't take you seriously... JTF2 "operators," as they prefer to be called, use a Macmillan TAC-50 rifle nicknamed "Big Mac." It's the longest-range weapon available to snipers, with a range of 2.3 km. The Big Mac has been standard issue...

Hot peppers are commonly graded...

...in "Scoville" units... perhaps bloodthirsty mobs can henceforth be measured in "Sharptons."Several thousand protesters marched in New York City on Saturday. The protesters were part of Al Sharpton’s “Million Marchers” protest against police violence. The protesters chanted “What do we want?… Dead...

It's all truly relative, I guess

luftangrepp: Since klingon sex is basically violent wrestling, I wonder if the klingons don’t have BDSM but like the opposite. Klingons gathering in secrecy in dark cellars to engage in sweet, gentle loving, to the scorn of fellow klingons. "How can you do that?" the other klingons ask. "You don’t even draw blood? Not a single furniture breaking? It doesn’t seem… natural". "What is...

If he had yet another imaginary son...

Another huge victory for the ordinary working... wait a minute...Just one day before President Obama announced sweeping changes that would allow potential American investment in Cuba, the Cuban government apparently had begun preparing itself by announcing new measures that would allow Cubans who work...

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"I'm totally shocked, SHOCKED, I tell ya!" said absolutely nobody anywhere in Ontario ever.Just another day in the Lieberal swamp. ********** RELATED: Here we go again...The latest debacle: Ms. Lysyk found — stop me if you’ve heard this one before — that a billion public dollars have been spent while failing to accomplish the goal. It’s not ehealth records, or even cancelled power plants. This...

Those tyrannical uncaring Republi...

...wait a minute..."The truth is, even with all the actions I've taken this year, I'm issuing executive orders at the lowest rate in more than 100 years."Hmmm... let's just take a closer look at that claim...Should this matter to anyone? Only if you fell for all that hopey changey argle-bargle...Like...

Phenomena that will henceforth...

...be known as DIE-versity...The gunman, earlier named as Iranian cleric Man Haron Monis, took an as yet unknown number of people hostage shortly before 10:00am (AEDT) on Monday. Monis, who was granted political asylum in Australia, was on bail for a string of violent offences, including being an accessory to the murder of his ex-wife.A beheading in Liverpool, two soldiers murdered in Canada... and...

Third time unlucky?

It has happened before. It will happen again...In the last 200 years, only the 1859 and 1921 solar superstorms are believed by experts to have exceeded the 4,000 nanoTesla/minute level over the U.S. If one of these storms were to occur today, many experts believe they would likely damage key elements of the power grid and could cause very long-term power outages over much of the United States.Bear...

"So, Professor... do we get..."

"...extra credit for looting and burning?"Student: But professor, now that my faith in the integrity of the law is so badly shaken, why should I continue to study law? ... Prof: I make a great living teaching that the law is a tool of oppression designed to protect white privilege. It takes a while to learn all of the jargon, but it’s worth it. One day, all of this can be you...

Emily Post for Jihadis

Whom can you enslave? What can you do with female slaves? Can you beat them and have sex with them? The militants of the self-styled Islamic State, never shy to parade their gruesome, atavistic interpretation of the Quran and its place as they see it in the modern world, have now answered those questions.I'm speechless... I swear, I got nuthi...

We're all gonna die... we're all gonna die

...just not from legally owned firearms...When the federal Conservative government abolished the long-gun registry back in 2012, gun-control advocates predicted no end to the criminal chaos that would result. If duck hunters, farmers and collectors were no longer required to register their rifles and shotguns, women would not be safe in their homes. They would be slaughtered by their murderous male...

Whitehouse takes steps to counter...

...President Obama's plunging popularity.....

Less Justin Trudeau... more Dillon Hillier

Video posted online by the former professional soldier show him putting his training to good use by bandaging a Kurdish fighter who has been shot in the face during a clash with jihadis. 'I accomplished more good in those 20 hours than the previous 26 years of my life,' he said. 'I dragged a man who had been shot in the face to safety and patched him up, while many others stood around in shock. 'I...

Burying the lede?

How far will your average politically correct "professional journalist" go... not to mention the "M" word? Pretty far, it seems... although there's apparently some compelling reason to bring real-estate agents into the blood-soaked, medieval mix.The Crown prosecutor told court that although media reports...

So Chief, what's the holdup here?

The video is drawing more traffic than a naked Miley Cyrus, so what exactly is the roadblock? You're thinking, what... sleepwalking, impersonation... CGI? Fot those of you unfamiliar with this blog... just click on picture above to get to the stor...

Never a President around...

...when you really, really need one. Just another story you won't see on CBC night after night for the next ten days. I guess if Barack Obama actually had that hypothetical son, he wouldn't look like Zemir Begic.ST. LOUIS • A third male suspect in a deadly hammer attack over the weekend in the Bevo...

Remember back in the day...

...some young kid pissed you off... you'd rear back and smash his face with your forehead? Yeah... me neither...Two men have been arrested after police released video footage of a 14-year-old banquet hall employee being head butted at a wedding reception by a guest. York Regional Police said the incident occurred after the boy, a coat-check clerk, asked a group of partygoers who were smoking outside...

I have to confess, I'm more worried...

...about the billions of dollars they piss away on purpose... but still...TORONTO — The Ontario [Liberal] government says a glitch with social assistance transfers that queued up $20 million in overpayments has been fixed — though efforts are underway to retrieve $300,000 that did end up being received. Amber Anderson says around 6,000 of the wrongful direct transfers and cheques did make it out...

I'm sure Ghenghis Khan had his reasons too

...but, c'mon Mr President, perhaps it's not the best time to be talking about "Justifiable Anger"... The nation’s self-styled healer of souls was mum in response to black radical grievance-mongers’ calls to vengefully burn Ferguson to the ground – a seething sentiment echoed the next day by Brown’s stepfather. Mr. Hope and Change stayed silent about the lynch-mob instigators calling for Wilson...

Two classes of firearms in Canada

Guns that protect politicians... GOOD. Guns that protect ordinary people... BAD.Previously, only some House of Commons guards carried guns. NOW ALL WILL, though it is unclear when the training will be complete and the new policy fully in pla...

Conscience and fortitude

What happens to "The Community" when there are no more Church ladies? ********** DEAR "PROFESSIONAL" JOURNALISTS: Stop embarrassing yourselves. What happened in Ferguson was not a "protest." A protest is a lawful assembly of citizens who wish to raise public awareness. Looting and burning, shooting at First Responders and carjacking and robbing (two news crews at last count, btw) are acts...

I guess this is some of the...

...constitutionally protected speech the President keeps talking about...Meet the Justice Seekers. It's a hard, lonely road, but somebody has to do it. ********** UPDATE: Truth, Justice and... ...the Fergusonian w...

Never mind not guilty... Darren Wilson...

...is lucky to be alive... Wilson also describes the moment he says he felt overpowered by 6 foot 5, Brown, who weighed upwards of 300 pounds. ‘When I grabbed him, the only way I can describe it is I felt like a five-year-old holding Hulk Hogan.’And then "gentle giant" Michael Brown started wrestling...

No, that's not the Grand High Poobah...

...of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan... that's Missouri Senator Maria Chappelle-Nadali" crying out... "YES WE CAN"... throw gasoline on an already incendiary racial brushfire..."We didn't have a race war like other cities throughout the country. This is our race war... I know people in my own party,...

I can see the headline now...

...Ghomeshi found guilty... gets 20 to life managing Vancouver S & M club...

We are all Peshmerga

Ask Patrice Vincent or Nathan Cirillo...

Buying an election

Remember Dalton McGuinty's tough stand on teachers? Turns out, surprise, surprise, it was a very temporary political ploy to get his successor past the post. Let's pick up the story from there...In February 2013, Wynne took over, repealed the bill, and re-opened negotiations with the Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario and the Ontario Secondary School Teachers’ Federation. The two sides eventually...

Less Justin Trudeau...

...more Dillon Hillier. ********** THE JIHADIS ARE CALLING THE TUNE: ISIS is claiming that last month’s attacks that killed two Canadian Forces members in Quebec and Ontario were “the direct result” of its call for violence in countries that had joined the international military campaign against...

Barack Obama's "Yes We can" America

What do you think would happen if a howling mob showed up outside a police station and started demanding a black man be lynched?“What do we want?” “Darren Wilson!” “How do we want him?” “Dead!”These are not "protesters." This is a bloodthirsty lynch mob and should be treated as such. ********** ASK...

That horrified "can't look away" feeling

...homegrown media & blogosphere hold their collective breath as Trudeau Liberals check gun is loaded... by looking down the barrel...Oh gawd, oh gawd... he's not gonna... I mean nobody's that... even a part-time drama teacher... please, please, please... ********** FROM THE COMMENTS: If anybody...

FROM THE MAILBAG

Reader Dennis writes..."While at Chapters today, I thought that I'd do a little book shuffling. I'm helpful that way. ...

Take two minutes...

If the CBC is gonna continue to suck billions of dollars out of taxpayers pockets... then we should, at minimum, hold them to account to report actual truth.The CBC, like CNN, owes it to Canadians to fully explain how such a disgraceful and myopic headline got incorporated in their news coverage and disseminated wide and far. Just like CNN did, CBC should apologize for its journalistic shortcomings...

Rules are for little people

What exactly does this say to the millions of people who followed the rules and have been waiting for years to become citizens?President Obama will ignore angry protests from Republicans and announce as soon as next week a broad overhaul of the nation's immigration enforcement system that will protect up to five million undocumented immigrants from the threat of deportation and provide many of them...

Unhang 'Em High?

Two female NDP MPs who allege improper conduct by a duo of male Liberal MPs will not be formally laying a complaint to launch an investigation, says a senior New Democrat. The decision could leave Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau with a political dilemma: Without an investigation, does he allow his two MPs back into caucus after suspending their membership because of the allegations?Hey Justin... just...

Ask a Palestinian President

Three Israeli-U.S. dual citizens and several others were killed or wounded in a terrorist attack at a Jerusalem synagogue Tuesday morning. Police said the assailants shot at people as they prayed, while also using meat cleavers and axes to assault those attending the morning service. Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas condemned the attack, but blamed Israeli “provocations.”Think it couldn't happen...

No "Weasel Words" here

We will attack you, destroy your homes and workplaces and steal whatever's left. It's "burn baby, burn" in the land of gentle giants.The Ferguson Mike Brown protesters are not ruling out violence or looting. “Rioting and looting are the tools of those without a voice."Funny how all those "folks without a voice" are making front page news on a daily basis. Meanwhile, on the other side of the "discussion"......

Meanwhile, back at Al Capone's Vault

No matter that there are no actual reported missing boys nor a single scrap of physical evidence that points to a crime or a location. Hells bells, it's got CBC written all over it... sexual abuse, incest, recovered memories of multiple murders and an old racist white guy. Hey, they've even got a sacred fire. Not too shabby for an outfit that can't seem to ever offer up a description of a shooter...

Altercation and Production

Followed by the cessation of life...“There was an altercation with two or three suspects and two black males produced firearms,” said Det.-Sgt. Gary Giroux. Tariq Mohammed, of Mississauga is Toronto's 50th homicide victim this year.You'd almost forget someone was murdered. Never seems that restrained when there's an officer-involved shooting. Funny how that wor...

Too many Shamans...

...not enough common sense..."We know we can save this child’s life. We can’t give up on this child," hospital president Peter Fitzgerald told CBC Hamilton.Wait for it...The girl’s doctors said she has a 90-95 per cent chance of survival on chemotherapy, but that they didn’t know of anyone who had survived Acute Lyphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) without the treatment.Whaddayamean... political pawn?The decision...

I'm from the Government...

...I'm here to save you...Here are three crucial changes that the president clearly didn’t want you to know about: 1. HUGE DEFICITS AND NEW TAXES. According to the Congressional Budget Office, the latest projections for the net cost of ObamaCare over the next ten years are just over $1.4 trillion. Whereas President Obama promised in 2009 that it would cost less than $1 trillion over ten years. In...

Pubic Service Announcement

File this one under... 'Stuff you might wanna consider before you chop off yer' old/ stitch on yer' shiny new dick.' ********** RELATED: Dying for attentionThe downside of the new interest is that women desperate for cheap options have risked their lives, going to phony doctors that inject silicone,...

A Way to Remember

Do you know someone who enlisted in World War I in Canada? -- Search the WWI CEF database -- Do you know a Canadian killed while serving his country? -- Search the Commonwealth War Graves database -- My wife's grandfather, a member of the Canadian Cyclist Battalion, (pictured, in the kilt)...

From the folks who brought you...

..."The Land of Gentle Giants"...

Shshhh... nobody tell P-Spawn

It comes to lame-ass dick jokes... less is definitely more. ********** RELATED: Justin in three words... ,,,honour thy father..."Pierre Trudeau opted not to serve in World War II, although of age and in good health. He traveled to Josef Stalin’s Soviet Union to participate in regime-sponsored propaganda...

Try, try again

What makes the Liberals think they can shove this thing down taxpayers deep throats? This time, Wynne’s government says it will have 4,000 hand-picked parents chosen by school principals participate in an online survey on the sex education curriculum before it is introduced. Most are expected to be the chairs of school councils. But their purpose, other than providing a rubber stamp of approval,...

Those Redneck Tea Partying Westerners

The CBC solemnly reports..."Both the the victim and suspect in the shooting are from Edmonton."Papyrus... that's a trippy name for a cowboy bar. Oh well, as long as they have a mechanical bull. ********** RELATED: Homicidal Hogtown Apparently Torontonians are terrible too...Toronto Police said the 33-year-old victim was shot in the head while walking along Eglinton Ave., near Keele St., around...

Hey, Waneek... just a heads-up...

They start building a big camp with watchtowers and tall barbwire fencing... I'd say it's past time to get outta Berlin, er... Dodge City...The culprit is not some errant racist landlord trying to throw one tenant out of a building. It’s the Kahnawake Mohawk council, which has a law that bans all “mixed...