Joe-Bama...

...he's there for you..."In Florida this afternoon, Vice President Joe Biden reminded supporters that thanks to President Obama, they could now get colonoscopies without a co-pa...

That Moderate Mommy Dearest

I guessin' she didn't say... "Darlin'... this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you"...I'm thinkin' mom might just be on to something... I by-Allah betcha this kinda thing does modify your behaviour... not to mention your ability to turn your back on another human being... ever again... • Montreal...

Your money... Dalton's friends

Don't blame me... I didn't vote for him...Bentley had resisted releasing the documents to a legislative committee, arguing publication would compromise the government's chance to get a good settlement with TransCanada Corp, the company that won the contract to build it.Wait a minute...During the announcement earlier in the day in Toronto, Bentley said that the provincial government's unrecoverable...

I guess the first two dead kids...

...are deductible... -- MONTREAL -- Guy Turcotte, the Quebec doctor found not criminally responsible for killing his two young children, is allowed to take unescorted bike rides from a mental hospital, QMI Agency has learned. He leaves the Pinel institute nearly every day despite the fact a review board and his ex-wife insist he's still dangerous. Turcotte stabbed five-year-old son Olivier son...

I remember when they used to...

...call it "Toronto the Good"...“They believe that they can walk in there and do that in front of all these people and get away with it.” Homicide unit commander Greg McLane on the Danzig party shootersNot to rain on your parade, Greg... but they're right...“The people who know the information they could tell, will never tell the police, ever. They’ve been harassed so much. Put it this way: The people...

"This is not public diplomacy"

"This is madnes...

Ask a Journo-Canadian

I remember a time, long, long ago... when the needless death of a small child was universally condemned as a terrible thing..."Islamic faith ensures that an Edmonton toddler, allegedly abused and starved for most of her young life by her parents, is on her way to paradise."I swear... I'm speechless. Is there any way this thing could be spun to further deflect the horrific reality here? Of course...

Stand by for breaking news...

...on gravity holdin' shit down...Let me toss three small words into the ring here... "obstruction of justice"..."The statute of limitations has now passed . . . so I can now say . . . yes, he did it," Kaelin told Cindy Adams of the Post. Asked why his testimony did not help convict Simpson, he replied,...

Ask a Journo-Canadian

Seriously now, Ian... what statistically coherent methodology did you apply here to take the temperature of the community at large?Oh that's right... you had an expert-witness...Abdifatah Warsame hasn’t been able to speak with immediate families of the latest victims, but said the community is reeling...

I'm from the government...

...I'm here to save, er... rebrand you...Rather than rural Alberta being a home to a large number of same-sex couples, the census may have misidentified transient workers with roommates. "We believe there is a likelihood we would put people together as a family when they're not. We obviously need to look at our processes in a way to update them and make them better."Heck... close enough for government...

The actual cost of social engineering

Just something to think about Toronto... as you're signing that outrageous municipal tax cheque... Total enrolment.... six students. Makes you wonder what would have happened if the entire "community" hadn't been up in arms ramrodding this thing through.“We haven’t given up on the program,” said Spence...

Ask a Liberal Education Minister

I just wanna know... if the transgender Prom Queen accidentally enters the "prayer room"... do we get a rip in the space-time continuum?********** RELATED: Broten, Broten... that sounds so familiar"Liberal Environment Minister Laurel Broten was previously dumped from cabinet after she irked neighbours...

If only the police would start...

...cracking down on these lawless Scottish clansmen... wait a minute... • TORONTO • Toronto police are on the scene of a shooting in the northwest end of the city that has claimed the lives of two men. Residents on Jamestown Crescent near Finch and Martin Grove called police at about 1:30 a.m. after hearing gunshots.Ah, yes... the "northwest end" of the city... Toronto's mysterious Bermuda Triangle...

In other "Crime is Down" news

Livin' fast & furious...Toronto police are seeking information about a weekend shooting in which shots were fired from one vehicle at another. Police say they were called to the McCowan Road and Ellesmere Road area at 7:47 p.m. on Saturday, after reported gunshots. 174 shootings have occurred in Toronto since the start of the year, as of Monday morning. That's an increase of about 10.8 per...

What's a little torture murder...

...between friends? -- OTTAWA -- Iran has had no ambassador in Canada since Iranian security forces raped and murdered Canadian photographer Zahra Kazemi in 2003. Canada has been a leader in imposing sanctions on Iran to halt Iran's nuclear weapons program.Never mind all that, forget about hurtful words... the only party line today... is let's party...“Absolutely not. I’m a senator. I’m free to...

Those darned Journo-Canadians...

...it's weird, they always seem to be able to drown you in never-ending, incoherently speculative reportage regarding unclothed members of the royal family...Toronto police say they are treating the discovery as “suspicious.”Hey, Lois Lane... you mean the anonymous, lifeless, bullet-ridden corpse you briefly mention in this blurb? When you do get around to actually reporting this guy's name... please...

Obama orders UK diplomats evacuated...

...as unruly mobs threaten to breech embassy and butcher staff... Obviously, now that the precedent has been established... insults must be paid in blo...

Swimmin' pools... movie stars...

Benghazi, Benghazi... that sounds so familiar..."Look for the State Department to continue to stonewall this request, and resist release of the document until after the election. Its contents will be just too damaging. In effect, the country will be able to see Hillary Clinton's signature on the document...

Cultural Relativism on Parade

Or, you know, Nicole... call me wacky... maybe they could just not deal dope AND shoot people... BECAUSE IT'S WRONG... “Listen, we do use sex to get what we want,” said Nicole Osbourne James, 39, a community activist. “My man comes home late and I’m mad — there won’t be any action in that moment. We...

No wonder Shrillary & Barack...

...are so anxious to try pin this on some Youtube video...A Libyan man explains that the bloodstains on the column are from one the American staff members who grabbed the edge of the column while he was evacuated, after an attack that killed four Americans on September 11th.The Obama administration had 48 hours warning of this attack AND did nothing... but, of course it's some pathetic Youtube screed...

Gotta have priorities, right B?

I mean... it's not like there's anything important going on in the Middle East..."President Barack Obama will be visiting one of his biggest fans soon - late night talker David Letterman. The news comes on the same day Obama told Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu he couldn't meet with him due to a scheduling conflict."********** RELATED: Take away his teleprompter and... ...well, see for...

Klingons are people too

Hey... if I say I'm an alien trapped in the body of a human being... who the frack are you to dispute that? • Planet UVic • “Many life forms on campus don’t identify as being either Homo-Sapiens or Romulan — or they have received harassment and discrimination for not appearing to be of the species...

So... the hard chargin' Warrior-President...

... who scripted himself defacto leader of Seal Team Six is now flourishing his diplomatic chops... Isn't that special..."An initial statement from the U.S. Embassy in Cairo said it 'condemns the continuing efforts by misguided individuals to hurt the religious feelings of Muslims'."Well, we certainly...

You bring the pickles & hot dog buns...

...I'll bring the bomb sniffing dog... Yikers... sounds like the "melting pot" might be about to melt down...Meanwhile, supporters of Khadr said they'll be out in force to protest the vigil.Apparently, it's not simply support... they'll also be serving up tasty hors d'oeuvres...An organizer of that...

That cruel, libellous Stephen Harp...

...wait a minute... • OTTAWA • Outspoken New Democrat MP Pat Martin is asking the public for money to defend himself against a lawsuit by RackNine, the Edmonton company he accused of being responsible for vote-suppressing robocalls in last year’s federal election. Through the Pat Martin Legal Defence Fund website, the Winnipeg MP will try to raise $250,000. In February, Martin accused RackNine...

In other "crime is down" news

In 2011 there were 133 shooting incidents by the second week of September. So far in 2012, there have been 162 for an increase of 21%. As for victims, in 2011 there was 160 victims by Sept. 11. This year so far there has been 226, for a 41% increase.********** RELATED: Oops there goes another...Police have identified the victim as Cory Campbell, 26, of Toronto. A post-mortem examination determined...

Solyndra who?

You just wait until President Obama brings in mandatory eco-vehicle requirements... we'll see who's laughing then..."Nearly two years after the introduction of the path-breaking plug-in hybrid, GM is still losing as much as $49,000 on each Volt it builds, according to estimates provided to Reuters by industry analysts and manufacturing expert...

We're Number 2...

...we're Number 2..."While they do not wish to actually move to Canada, they want an escape hatch in the event their home countries become unstable, according to internal document...

Another street shooting in Scarborough...

...must be Saturday...The body of 28-year-old Toronto resident Abdulaziz Farah was found by police outside a home on Fawcett Trail near Morningside and Mclevin Avenues at around 12:40 a.m. Saturday.********** RELATED: In other GTA news...In Mississauga, meanwhile, a 40-year-old woman — Aicha Saludares — was found dead in her home near Lakeshore Rd. E. and Cawthra Rd. with obvious signs of trauma...

And Walter Cronkite wept

I still think the best one was when CTV's Lisa LaPhlegm somberly read out the "fact" that this nutjob also possessed a "three hundred and fifty seven" type pist...

I'm beginning to understand why the...

...Canadian "justice" system is perpetually backlogged...More soundbites from the "Does your minkey bite?" school of modern day policing...“Just because the body was found dismembered doesn’t automatically mean homicide,” Peel Regional Police Const. Fiona Thivierge said.Sure, Fi... I get that. I just...

Those darned Journo-Canadians

I mean, your story about a butchered human body... needed a little jazzing ...

The Daily Show the other night...

...Jon Stewart was screaming for some fact-checking on Republican VP nominee Paul Ryan... I'm curious, would he apply the same standard to Michelle Obama's claims of impoverished origins & extreme rectitude..."As her husband moved onto the national political stage, Michelle Obama began to enjoy a lavish lifestyle at taxpayer expense, directly and indirectly. When Barack Obama was elected to the...

Those cruel Conservative bastards

Don't you worry, though... I've heard that under Prime Minister Mulcair, the very first piece of legislation will set up a Wicca-Centric school system. ********** RELATED: In other education news Toronto the Good... and your tax dolla...

But it was just a children's party...

...right?TORONTO -- A 17-year-old Toronto youth who was wounded in the July 16 mass shooting on Scarborough’s Danzig Street has been shot a second time, and two other teenagers – one 16, the other 18 – face multiple gun-related charges, including attempted murder. On Tuesday, the 16-year-old who allegedly shot the 17-year-old was charged with nine gun-related offences and several other charges,...

Dream a little dream

...

Apparently, the timing's a little tricky

To escape being flattened by the "wheels of justice", you have to pull the trigger after he starts to swing the rusty screwdriver... but before it pierces your pericardium... But buck up Britannia, there is a ray of hope...Rutland and Melton MP Alan Duncan, a Government minister, said the real crime would be if the couple were prosecuted for defending their home. "If this is a straightforward case...

Thank you Dead Tree media

Congratulations on taking yet another non-issue that no reasonable person would waste 30 seconds debating... and torquing it up to try create another faux-war in the name of "equality"...Just another reason to dump that useless subscription folks. ********** RELATED: Wait a minute... ...I smell...

That's some pricey little hole...

...yeah, yeah, I know... the irony abounds... And the Globe's lofty take on all this..."Until now, the cost of Mr. Layton’s state funeral has been kept under wraps. At least one columnist was pilloried for asking whether public money ought to have been spent on a ceremony that at times took on the appearance...