The Euroweenies strike back

How come there's never a Navy SEAL around... when you really need one?

-- ON BOARD CORTE-REAL -- The commandos briefly detained and questioned the seven gunmen, he told Reuters, but had no legal power to arrest them.

“NATO does not have a detainment policy. The warship must follow its national law.”

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RELATED: Of course, it's not like Ontario...

...has a lot to crow about...

The father of a baby girl dumped in a frigid North York stairwell last year will serve no additional jail time and mom has to pay a $300 fine, a court has ruled.

The parents of Baby Angelica-Leslie pleaded guilty in a Toronto courtroom Thursday to abandoning the year-old tot in a parking garage in Janauary 2008.

Neither parent can be named to protect the identity of the little girl found lying facedown in the stairway in -14C temperatures. She was also had cuts and bruises on her face at the time she was found.

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LAST WORD: But we're tough on terror, right?

-- BRAMPTON -- A youth convicted for his part in the so-called Toronto 18 terror cell will be sentenced as an adult, a Superior Court judge ruled yesterday.

But depending on the amount of pre-trial credit awarded to the man, the additional amount of jail time he'd be required to spend might amount to little, if any, more time behind bars.

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You know you want to...

The book, Theo Gray's Mad Science: Experiments You Can Do at Home but Probably Shouldn't, is packed with things that can actually maim you, as well as projects you'd let elementary-school kids do unsupervised, with crystal-clear warnings for each along the way.

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Is there anything you can't do...

...with that amazing miracle meat?

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Damn that whole memory thing...

...now I'm just gonna have to walk around until I match up a license plate with my ownership...

“To confirm message I left on your voicemail, to clarify, I do not own a North American made vehicle.”

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As Canadian as...

...Chelo kebabs...

-- Toronto -- A Toronto man is facing numerous charges after allegedly trying to send nuclear technology to Iran, a country under intense international pressure to curtail its nuclear ambitions, police said Friday.

Mahmoud Yadegari, who police said is a Toronto businessman in his mid-30s, is charged under the Customs Act and Export Import Permits Act, and is also accused of violating UN sanctions on Iran.

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RELATED: In other "bright lights, big city" news...

Toronto Police have made a quick arrest after a a man was found slain in the basement of a Leslieville home.

Jason Coleman, 21, of Toronto, surrendered around 8 a.m., was is facing second-degree murder charges.

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LAST WORD: What the fuckin' fuck!?!

“No one is allowed to have a gun on their premises for protection in the city. We have laws that govern the ownership and handling of guns. Anyone in possession of a gun has to have it safely stored in a designated place,” said Insp. Eric Grummisch.

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It makes as least as much sense...

...as anything else I've heard...

Wombat droppings are helping an industrial town in the Australian state of Tasmania to fight the effects of the global financial crisis.

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Marty the race-baiting troll...

..gets an ass-whupping...

Another drive-by commenter here at the halls gets his brain caught in his zipper...

"Most of the kids at this school are black".

Which, after a little disputation, quickly turns into...

"It's certainly no secret that C.W. Jeffrey's has a lot of black kids."

Which elicits any number of responses... the pithiest of which is...

"If a past history of slavery is the current cause of this problem then us Jews from eastern Germany should be the baddest mo-fos around."

It's actually pretty funny when you think about it.

"Canadian Cesspool" doesn't have the stones to show up here and comment himself... but he can just wind up all his little dimbulb squirrels...

Funny how that works.

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FROM THE COMMENTS:

"Today I'm Marty, tomorrow I'll(sic) someone else."

Yeah CC, you dumbstick... that's my point.

In Iraq... senseless violence is Job#1

"I think that a lot of the executions with torture had to do with trying to get people to move out of their houses," said Michael Spagat, one of the study's authors. "It had to strike fear into people's hearts."

"A lot of it is just hatred and retribution."

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Where's Samuel L. Jackson...

...when you really motha******* need him?

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Deal... or no deal

“It's not pleasant, it's not palatable to the union, I understand that. But we cannot have a situation where the union is resisting the reality of the situation and then expecting the Canadian taxpayers and the Ontario taxpayers to contribute.”

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C.W. Jeffreys?

That sounds so familiar...

A 16-year-old boy was arrested at C.W. Jeffreys Collegiate Institute after officers found a loaded handgun on him this morning, police allege.

Plainclothes officers from the 31 Division street crime unit were investigating the teen inside the school, near Keele St. and Finch Ave. W., when they found the gun just before 10 a.m., Toronto Police Const. Tony Vella said.

The teen faces nine weapons-related charges in addition to charges for breaching bail and probation orders.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... that C.W. Jeffreys?

Salmon said such violence occurs in many schools across Ontario and Canada. "The halls in this school, without a doubt, unequivocally, are an extremely safe place," he said.

"When you walk my halls during the day, you can hear a pin drop."

And yes... yet again... Mayor Miller's office strangely silent, on which gun club he belonged to.

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Ask an Artsie

Even with the constant threats, students are hesitant about the idea of adding more security on campus, “Putting too much security on campus will feel like our freedom is being constricted,” said first-year fine arts cultural studies student, Jaesel Mazana.

Well, sweetie, maybe this is just me, but I'm thinkin'... "better your freedom... than your neck".

In any case, ol' Jaesel is spouting absolute nonsense.

Nobody here is suggesting throwing up a cement wall around campus. At best, budget permitting, they might toss a few more unarmed rent-a-cops into the patrol rotation.

But hey... that'd be socially disruptive and frightening... 'cos we're Canadian.

Good grief.

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Now, c'mon folks... settle down

It's not like they don't have some pretty stringent rules here...

Saudi Arabia says it plans to start regulating the marriage of young girls, amid controversy over a union between a 60-year-old man and a girl of eight.

A court in Unaiza upheld the marriage on condition the groom does not have sex with her until she reaches puberty.

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Swimming against the current...

...makes you stronger...

"Ezra likes to say that the HRCs and Section 13 are “unCanadian.” I respectfully disagree. I can’t think of anything more Canadian."

"They perfectly embody the Trudeaupian, “Centennial celebration” Canada I was born into."

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The dumbing down of America

So tell me... was it more exciting that "The One" got his kids a dog... or are the royal spouse's unquestioningly impeccable biceps still a contender?

I mean, what a freakin' zoo.

There couldn't possibly have been more media hysteria about this thing... if Obama had actually run over a dog... with a Humvee... and a big fat spliff hangin' from his lower lip.

The real question here should be... why are sober, informed individuals still turning into giggly little schoolgirls every time Obama does a public pirouette? Gawd forbid he throws somebody a kiss... there could be bloody riots.

I haven't seen anything like this since my sisters were turned into hysterical ninnies by the Bay City Rollers.

Seriously.

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Breathe… engage your five senses...

...close your eyes and inhale deeply.

Be in the present moment, notice the color of the chocolate, the glossy shine.

Rub your thumb over the chocolate bar to release the aromas of smoked applewood bacon flirting with deep milk chocolate.

Snap off just a tiny piece and place it in your mouth, let the lust of salt and sweet coat your tongue.

(via david thompson)

The trouble with trolls

My own personal troll... who... oh-so coincidentally... happens to be Canadian Cynic's biggest cheerleader... has apparently lost his mind over this post and challenged me to a duel...

I dunno, CC... er... Libby.

It's an awfully long drive down here from Waterloo.

You sure you won't get lost?

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FROM THE COMMENTS:

"I thought the first rule of the fightclub was that you didn't talk about the fightclub."

And...

Dear LS:

You are making an ass of yourself. Everyone is laughing at you. The idea of someone being tough over the internet is ludicrous.

Please, for your own sake, get your lithium prescription refilled.

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BREAKING UPDATE: Suddenly CC, er... Libby, decides...

...he DOES support the troops... and, I guess, snowmobilers...
My arsenal, huh? And I should bring it with me? Hmmm... bring it to this place where you're gonna show me "a real man", right?

And it's just gonna be you & me... and the OPP? Hey... there's a plan.

Well, I have to say dumbstick... you can pedal as hard as you want... but you sure ain't gettin' anywhere.

Hey, CC... which colourful wingnut have you got on deck?

Batter up!

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Hope, Change and...

...drop trou, bend over and grab your ankles...

The New York Times reports the Obama administration is considering tolerating Iran's nuclear activities at the same time it would hold talks with Tehran.

The newspaper says the U.S. and Europe would press Iran to gradually open its nuclear program to wider inspections, but would allow Tehran to continue enriching uranium for some period during the talks.

I guess "The One" is too busy personally supervising SEAL sniper teams... to deal with those pesky Iranians.

Heck... what's a few nuclear missiles between "respectful friends" anyway?

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So, is he lying now...

...or was he lying then?

-- OTTAWA -- Mr. Schreiber says access to Mr. Mulroney was easy and he met him formally and informally many times during his tenure as prime minister, including a memorable get-together at Mr. Harper's summer residence at Harrington Lake.

But during a 2004 court case, he testified he only met Mr. Mulroney on a couple of exceptional occasions.

He never mentioned Harrington Lake.

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FROM THE COMMENTS:

"It seems the Toronto Gripe and Wail has edited the story to remove any mention of Harper.

I'm curious if there were, at one time, comments to the story as now there are no comments but a note saying 'comments are now closed'."

Oh my goodness... that's shocking... isn't it?

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You've got...

...a long way, baby...

Young women attending Kabul University expressed surprise and bewilderment at the debate raging in Canada.

She said she was familiar with the controversial legislation, which President Hamid Karzai has pledged to urgently review in the face of strong complaints from western governments. "But we do not want total freedom."

"We wanted it to be limited and to be within Islam."

(h/t reader rich)