Hey, once upon a time... they used to...

...deliver milk right to your house...

Oh, the mail should still be delivered, through rain, snow, sleet and hail, but not to the mailbox hanging on your house. Bring on the once-dreaded, and, really, still despised SuperMailbox.

Most Canadians I hear from will be onside after hearing the posties were rejecting wages that would have risen to $26 an hour at the top end, a coveted defined benefit plan — that’s $3.2 billion in the hole, by the way — and up to seven weeks of vacation.

So, on strike they go.

"There are some things..."

"...so far exiled from all the known limits of common sense and rational practice, so inhospitable to logic and fairness, that only governments can be responsible for them."

That evil, backstabbing Stephen Harp...

...hang on a second...

-- By Warren Kinsella, QMI Agency -- At staff and campaign meetings — which, full disclosure, I also attended for a while — Rocco was a constant presence, beaming away with those impressive equine teeth of his, but contributing precious little.

Oh, good grief... this isn't gonna be another one of those infamous Kinsella... oh, who am I kidding, of course it is...

Rossi was dishing to the Yanks about what was going on in Ignatieff’s office. He kvetched that Ignatieff wasn’t listening to super-smart guys like him. Instead, Rossi whined, the Grit boss was much more preoccupied with his wife Zsuzsanna Zhosar.

Man... I just had this weird flash of deja-vu... like there was some other Kinsella-Rossi connection... wait...

"Rumours are swirling that the Rocco Rossi team will announce, as early as its Monday morning policy announcement, that it has landed a big political fish for its campaign team."

Hmmm... anybody remember how that Cinderella story worked out?

And, call me wacky... who was the guy who recently planted that machete between the Puffin King's shoulder blades?

"Secondly, Michael Ignatieff feels more comfortable among Rosedalian Liberals. You know, the ones who – over martinis at the Toronto Tennis Club – always felt more kinship with the likes of John Turner or Paul Martin than they did with, say, Pierre Trudeau or Jean Chretien. You know, Liberal lefties who win elections."

Doesn't Mr Kinsella allegedly make a living in "public relations"... specialising in people of a political stripe?

I guess that explains some Liberal insiders infamously coining the phrase "human shrapnel."

Say hello to Premier Hudak

Sorry, Peace Moonbeam... it's not a "chain-gang"... if there aren't any chains...

Another related Leger Marketing question -- asked online -- has found a whopping 73% of Canadians figure the nation's courts are not doling out harsh enough penalties.

Only two in 100 people polled thought the courts are too harsh.

**********

THE COMPASSIONATE INTELLECTUAL LEFT REPLIES:

"Heil Hudak!"

Oh, nonny... you do all the work for me.

I know what I'm getting Kathy Shaidle...

...for Christmas...

The Lessons of Pakistan

Keep your enemies close... and your friends even closer...

A Pakistani journalist who wrote last week about the suspected infiltration of Pakistan's navy by al Qaeda terrorists was found dead Tuesday, two days after he went missing in Islamabad.

He disappeared on Sunday, two days after he wrote an article claiming that al Qaeda had attacked a naval base in Karachi, Pakistan, on May 22 in retaliation for the arrest of naval officials suspected of links with the terrorist group.

Remember... if Pakistan goes over to the dark side... they take a whole pile of nuclear weapons with them.

Sleep tight, America.

They screw up delivering mail...

...and that's got your name & address on it... you really want the local postie wiping grannie's butt?

-- OTTAWA -- If the Canadian Union of Postal Workers had its way, letter carriers would add social work and library duties to their responsibilities.

I dunno how it worked where you lived, but in the small Ontario town I grew up in... the Post Office was where all the high school stoner burnouts ended up after they packed in grade 10.

The union fears Canada Post will eliminate 7,000 jobs by contracting out services and putting in new mail processing machines that are more accurate and work faster.

Accurate & faster... yeah, we sure as shit don't want any of that.

Toronto's Regent Park...

...everything you've come to expect.. and less...

-- TORONTO -- “He displayed the values we taught him, honesty, integrity, charity and kindness. He respected everyone,” James’ mom bellowed in court. --

Hey, Moms... I'm just thinkin' that whole "proceeds of crime" thing... for some of us, anyway... might take some of the sheen off that halo.

No, no, you're right... what was I thinking? Forgive me my moment of madness. I mean, who wouldn't love this guy?

"James was highly respected in the community because he purchased walkers for the elderly, bought groceries for the poor and refused to sell drugs to children."

Damn, talk about standards.

You figure that's why that 16 year-old trigger-puller decided to change Mr James horoscope?

I guess maybe "the community" has a different definition of "children" than the rest of us... not to mention that "honesty & integrity" thing. They also seem to have gotten past all that silly dithering about capital punishment.

You've just gotta love how the MSM has decided to paper this thing over by peddling this whole Robin Hood myth. Trouble is... it's not going over all that well in the comments on this article.

Call me a dinosaur, but I remember when the words "honesty & integrity" were used to describe "law-abiding" citizens... and not dope-dealing parasites... however charismatic they might be.

**********

RELATED: Yeah, let's go with Robin Hood...

...instead of, you know, Lord of the Flies...

"It would seem pretty obvious to me what's happened here. The original report contained a typo wherein they described his career as one selling DRUGS when what they really meant was that he sold HUGS!"

Hey, Peace Moonbeam... why stop there?

I say we make special lexan cages, install webcams... and call it "performance art"...

-- MONCKS CORNER, S.C. (KABC) -- The American Civil Liberties Union is pushing for porn at a detention center in Moncks Corner, South Carolina.

C'mon, you're tellin' me...at minimum... this thing just doesn't scream "reality tv?"

**********

RELATED: I think I just realised...

...I'm getting old...

The woman was with a male friend in the graveyard off Cedar Lane just before 7 p.m. visiting the grave of a relative. When the two engaged in some “extracurricular activities,” one of the grave markers rolled onto the woman’s leg, Capt. James Stevens said.

C'mon Pierre... what's the deal here?

You're thinkin' you wanna drive the bus... you gotta stop muckin' around with the emergency exit...

If Stephen Harper insists on moving ahead with Senate reform, he can expect the Quebec government to fight him all the way to the Supreme Court.

Uh, schizophrenic much?

Maybe English Canada needs to have a referendum of our own... it's not like you guys are the shining jewel in the crown here.

Let's have it, right now... you're in... or you're out.

**********

RELATED: Shshhh... it's a secret...

British Columbia has thrown up the odd chiselling premier, Atlantic Canada is famously steeped in patronage, but there is no comparison to the kind of octopussal industry-union-mob-party configuration lurking just below the surface of politics in Quebec.

You don't pay it back...

...it's not a loan...

-- WASHINGTON -- The Obama administration said Wednesday that the government will lose about $14 billion in taxpayer funds from the bailout of the U.S. auto industry.

Quebec... gotta have priorities, I guess

It'll be interesting to see who's more flexible... the citizens of Quebec... or the NDP...

"While the provincial government has pledged to toss $200 million at a potential arena for Quebec City, recently confirmed $57 million in loan guarantees (aka corporate welfare) to reopen a privately-owned asbestos mine, and of course continues to pony up for free in vitro treatments, $7 a day daycare, and ridiculously cheap university tuition fees, its justice system is apparently so underfunded that courts have freed 31 Hells Angels because it took too long to bring them to trial."

So lemme get this straight...

...outrageous salary... gold-plated pension after what, six years... and, on top of that... we also cover all their expenses...

"In total, taxpayers spent $31.1 million on MPP expenses."

Funny how there always seems to be enough money to pay for our politician's wish list. And remember... that's just the provincial trough.

Meanwhile back in the real world...

"The credit bureau's analysis found that total debt per consumer, excluding mortgages, grew to $25,597 in the first quarter of 2011, up from $24,497 in the same quarter of 2010."

Just something to think about... the next time you're sitting waiting six hours to see a doctor at your local hospital emergency room.

Surprise, surprise...

...you mean the guy who got caught stark naked in the Chinatown bawdy house?

-- OTTAWA -- Despite a recent pledge to restore order and civility to the House of Commons, NDP leader Jack Layton was the least civil Parliamentarian prior to this spring's election, according to researchers' analysis of Question Period.

So much for the myth of the nasty Neo-con, huh?

Prime Minister Stephen Harper and former Bloc leader Gilles Duceppe were the only party leaders above the civility average of all party MPs. Harper scored 50 while Duceppe — who was defeated in the May 2 vote — scored a 51.

By contrast, Layton's score of 39 was closely followed by Ignatieff at 40.

Enjoy him, Quebec... he's all yours.

**********

RELATED: And pray tell, what news of...

... the Natural Stumbling Party...

"We’ve taken our lumps and our licks and we’re going to be back in the House very eagerly tomorrow.”

Lumps & licks... say, Bob... you haven't been out partying with Jacko, have you?

In other Democratic Egypt news...

Things are looking up, ladies... in the New Improved Egypt... they don't simply assume you're a prostitute... there's a field diagnostic...

"We didn't want them to say we had sexually assaulted or raped them, so we wanted to prove that they weren't virgins in the first place," the general said.

"None of them were virgins."

**********

RELATED: Ask a "spiritual advisor"

The senior cleric was responding to a question from a follower regarding the difference between "martyr's death" and "suicide."

"When protecting Islam, the Muslim people depend on martyrdom operations. It not only is allowed, but even is an obligation," Mesbah wrote.

Yup... an exciting new paradigm...

...cyber riots...

Police said the gang members are part of a group of more than 1,000 youths who have used social media sites like Facebook to plan unruly gatherings on the beach on three of the past four nights.

The beach falls under the jurisdiction of the State Police, who have been unable to prevent the violence.

And it isn't just Boston that's being torn apart...

"It has nothing to do with racism," said Sosa, who lives in South Beach. "It's a lack of respect for the city they're visiting. It's as simple as that. This morning, there were six cars parked on my block with their mirrors ripped off, their antennas ripped off.

It shows our city as nothing short of a warzone - Filthy streets, a drive by shooting, multiple cars crashed in the process, and total chaos on the streets.

And hello, Rochester...

Many people were at the beach to attend the city-organized Rib Festival. Those already at the festival Monday were allowed to stay in the fenced in area.

This isn't the first time a local venue has shut down because of fights on Memorial Day. Seabreeze made it a policy to close on Memorial Day starting last year after rumors of violence. The city has an ongoing issue with crowds of youth at the Liberty Pole downtown.

"I think what you saw at the beach is what we’ve been seeing in many of our neighborhoods for two decades," said Councilman Adam Mcfadden. "It’s just that you had a lot of people there who are not used to that culture and got to witness it personally."

Hmmm... North Carolina...

Investigators say Antwan Terrell Smith was shot and killed after someone pulled a gun just after 1 a.m. during a large fight on 3rd Street. Durante Kavon James was shot in the leg.

It was one of several fights that broke out after the Speed Street celebration in Uptown. CMPD called out its Civil Emergency Unit after reporting that many large groups of people were disobeying police, flashing gang signs, blocking traffic and fighting.

In all, 70 people were arrested - including 15 juveniles. Most of the arrests were for disorderly conduct, fighting, assault, and impeding traffic.

Memorial Day... it ain't what it used to be.

**********

RELATED: It's true what they say...

...there's never a "community organiser" around... when you really need one...

"In the Chicago Tribune, not a word about it, except in mentioning the people who died from gunshots that day, though they don’t mention anything more than that."

So, Doc... what you're saying is...

...the first severed head is deductible...

"After passengers scrambled to escape the bus Li attempted to exit too but was stopped by the bus driver, who closed the door behind him, trapping Li inside... where he continued to mutilate McLean's body and severed his head."

Here's a thought... we could call it...

..."Omar's Law"...

"It’s one of a multitude of proposed changes to the Conservative Party’s official policies up for debate when Tories from across Canada converge in Ottawa for a June 9-11 convention."

You wanna spread terror across the land...

...who needs suitcase nukes...

"We have 61 adults hospitalised, 21 in intensive care," a spokeswoman for the Eppendorf University Clinic in Hamburg, where most cases are being treated clinic, said Monday evening.

The clinic has appealed for blood donations.

"We are using between 500 and 700 bags of plasma per day, compared to 60 normally. We're running out of supplies," the spokeswoman said.

Rolf Stahl, a neurologist at the clinic, said nearly a third of patients there had lost all kidney functions and were on dialysis.

This is apparently a simple case of e-coli poisoning... try imagine a concerted terrorist attack on food or water supplies.

The miracle is... that it hasn't happened already.

So, I've been in maintenance mode...

...all day long -- first, we had to play silly buggars (as in, retard the timing) with Mrs Neo's car to kludge it through Drive Clean... then it was off to the Doc to set up an appointment to surgically scope my failing left knee.

The backhoe is also getting some new hoses... and I'm contemplating the pros & cons of welding up the leaky loader arms (which also function as a reservoir for hydraulic fluid)... versus fabbing up an external tank, which could also double up as a step into the cab.

Decisions, decisions.

Sometimes it feels as though I'm simply running in place... it'd be nice to actually make a little forward progress.