THE HADRON COLLIDER OF COFFEE MACHINES... -- "I prepared a proper 60g/L brew with the new machine, and the resulting coffee was on another planet. The flavours were so developed it was like I could taste the touch of the Colombian farmer who picked the beans. I drank my full morning dose of two 300ml mugs in just over an hour. And then, I discovered an unexpected side effect." --
♫ "SHOULD NOT HAVE GOT ON THIS FLIGHT TONIGHT" ♫ -- "It has now been an hour since I finished that first pot and I can hear the passage of time. A fly flew past me in slow motion. I made an omelette for lunch and I beat the egg so fast it turned into steam. My heart no longer beats; it vibrates. And there is something unholy brewing in my lower intestine and I am fearing the wrath of God when it is released. Send help." --