It's possible the human race is...

...way too suggestible...

Your National Broadcaster...

...squeezing every last bit of virus panic/racism/sexism/Islamophobia out of the proverbial stone..."A Calgary physician went public last week with allegations that Health Minister Tyler Shandro 'berated him' at his home over a social media post.""Going public" is apparently the new "thoughts &...

Well, there's another destination...

... off the vacation short list...HAVANA, March 31 (Reuters) - The family of Emilia Montoya, 79, sacrificed four white doves and two roosters, chanted in the African language Yoruba and pounded a wooden staff rhythmically on the floor in a ceremony to protect Montoya from coronavirus. Santeria priests,...

They may not have a clue, but...

...they're never uncertain...A new report by the Parliamentary Budget Office expects the Canadian economy to contract by 25 per cent in the second quarter of 2020. Annual economic growth in 2020 is expected to slide to negative 5.1 per cent. Unemployment is expected to rise to 15 per cent. MATH IS...

Black Lives Matter was apparently...

...unavailable for comment..."Chidubem Anthony Okeke, 22, has been arrested and charged with attempted murder in connection with the attack on Police Const. Andrew Varao."MEANWHILE BACK AT THE BORDER:"But, but, but... that's so racist!" No, Peace Moonbeam... it's n...

"If the Virus hits..."

"...you must acquit...""Illegal aliens held in Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) custody at a Pennsylvania facility have started a hunger strike to demand their release in the midst of the Chinese coronavirus crisi...

STEP TWO: UV lights...

...on all bank machines, vending machines, cash registers, and door handles and...Or, call me crazy... we could just do a little elementary screening at border entry points? ********** RELATED: Special rules for Special People“We are not going to give up. But we also know where these people live...

Justin Fixes the World...

...a continuing series...MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH: Nobody is talking about "Scarborough Viru...

SHUTUP AND TAKE MY MONEY...

...before the Prime Minstrel and Willie Porno steal it all...

Courtesy of Rosie Barton & friends

By golly, good thing we just burned the freakin' economy to the waterline...Selfies are easy... math is hard..."By last week, influenza had claimed 23,000 lives in the United States, and yet no politicians or journalists were getting up on soap boxes to declaim the horror of stores remaining open while...

Why am I not surprised?

The head of the World Health Organization, in charge of making life or death decisions on a grand scale, has been accused of covering up cholera epidemics, supporting a terrorist organization and inflating his resume to claim he conquered malaria and HIV. Tedros Adhanom Ghegreyesus' campaign to rewrite his questionable past has some wondering whether he is the right fit to lead the global agency...

Orwell was right, some animals are...

...more equal than others...It seems when it comes to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s “stay home” mantra or Mayor John Tory’s threats to crack down, some stores didn’t get the memo. Chinatown is not the only area not following government orders. Some stores in Kensington Market, Little Italy and The...

Tell that to the families of...

...Shyanne Charles and Joshua Yasay..."Two board members who heard Nahom Tsegazab’s case earlier this month say he has shown enough personal growth and maturity while incarcerated to be granted day parole."Nice to know a life is only worth four years apiece. So, Nahom... home to a supportive fam......

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"Homeschooling Day 9: Miraculously, spanking and prayer are back in school agai...

It's funny because it's true

BALTIMORE, MD • A new study by Johns Hopkins University found that the Wuhan coronavirus is impacting men and women more than all the other genders combin...

The Prime Minstrel takes a stand...

...in a post-national world, there are no borders...TORONTO • "Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has told the U.S. Canada is strongly opposed to a Trump administration proposal to put troops at the U.S.-Canada border amid the pandemic and said if it goes ahead it would damage relations between...

Membership...

...has it's privileges...From the comments:"Don't come to the Highlands to self isolate... unless you're Prince Charles."********** RELATED: And Winston Churchill wept..."Thugs have been mugging doctors and nurses to steal their identity badges in order to access priority shopping and freebies from...

We should've seen it coming...

...like a drama teacher's beard...RELATED: Monsters are r...

A question for Doug Ford...

..."Why is the Ontario healthcare system rationing N95 masks?"Belgium’s Public Health Minister Maggie De Block has destroyed millions of expired FFP2 masks stockpiled during the H1N1 flu epidemic in 2009, but did not replace them due to economic reasons. “Buying masks without a plan is a waste of taxpayers’...

Why can't everybody just be...

...a sainted millennial?"I asked my parents if they are worried about the pandemic, and they told me they had been through much worse in their lives: famine, armed conflicts, and helplessly watching their loved ones perish. They are not freaking out about the coronavirus like we are because they have...

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"In Canada in 2015–2016, there were around 77,000 hospitalizations caused entirely by alcohol, compared to 75,000 hospitalizations for heart attacks in the same year. Alcohol is responsible for about 4500 deaths per year in Canada." "These 77,000 hospitalizations do not represent all the 1 in 8 Canadians...

Shoo! Shoo!

...

You get away with wearing blackface...

...groping women at will and paying 10 million dollars to a convicted terrorist & murderer... you start to feel invincible, I guess..."Part 4 of the draft bill the Trudeau government presented to the Opposition ahead of today's sitting would allow Finance Minister Bill Morneau access to 'all money...

Call me a cranky old man, but...

...I'm not taking medical advice from Tom Hanks... or Kylie Jenner...Time to throw another politician on the barb...

DATELINE ONTARIO: Surprise, surprise...

You can still get your all-too essential TruDope...DAVE'S NOT (cough, cough) HERE MAN:"LCBO, Beer Store, cannabis retailers will remain open amid 14-day closure of all non-essential businesses."I think it'll be illuminating to scrutinize deaths in traffic accidents and in general over the next 14 days. ********** RELATED:...

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"Joe Biden was around when Covid-1 took place."Seriously, Dems... this is your guy?"And, in addition to that, in addition to that we have to make sure that we, we are in a position that we are, well let me go to the second thing, I've spoken enough on that."Oh, it gets better..."Biden called the current...

He don' need no steenkin' data

Justin fixes the world by burning the Canadian economy to the ground..."Looking at the whole funnel from top to bottom, ~1% of everyone who is tested for COVID-19 with the US will have a severe case that will require a hospital visit or long-term admission." "Globally, 80–85% of all cases are mild....

You feelin' lucky punk?

Don't mess with Dirty Patty..."Liberal Health Minister Patty Hajdu says she's looking at 'criminal penalties' for Canadian travellers who don't follow the government's advice to self-isolate." "And I'm hoping we don't have to get to ordering them," she said.********** COMPARE AND CONTRAST: Here's...

Calling Public Safety Minister Bill Blair...

Did Julian's "social justice warrior" Mummy pony up $2000 for that "restricted" rifle?"Ontario NDP leader Andrea Horwath's son, aspiring rapper Julian Leonetti, 27, has uploaded photos of himself to social media where he called the ongoing coronavirus pandemic a 'hoax.'" "In one photo, which Leonetti...

A legal system... not a "justice" system

Just spitballin' here, but I'm thinking that's a clue... apparently Justice Michael Dambrot disagrees...Kalen Schlatter was sexually aroused by choking women and confessed to a sex partner “he didn’t feel comfortable strangling her" because he had difficulty gauging his own strength and restraining...

The Hero We Need

Talk about raising, uh... spirits..."The 29-year-old Brazilian beauty and reigning champion of Brazil’s famed Miss BumBum contest is doing her bit in battling the coronavirus and her fans’ boredo...

With bated breath, the world turns...

...toward... well, never mind...

I'm from the Government...

...I'm here to save you..."More troubling for Burr is that transactions, 33 in total, came as the Intelligence Committee was receiving daily briefings on the pandemic. Speculation began to stir that the senator had acted on inside information to protect his assets."And Canadian political hacks are no differe...

Oops there goes another...

...well... you know... Homicide #15/2020Toronto Police are investigating a homicide after Dobroslav “Bobby” Manchev, 51, was found dead in Scarborough on Wednesday evening. He is the city’s 15th murder victim of the year.Gonna file this one under "Just Desserts." ********** UPDATE: ♫ Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do ♫"Joseph Paquet, 48, of Toronto was arrested Sunday, and scheduled to appear...

Nerf the World - Episode #47

♫ "Everybody was Kung Flu fighting"... ♫"Harvard was not the first university to propose a 'universal pass' system. Students at Yale University proposed a similar model this week that they called 'No Fail Yale' that was designed to promote 'equity' amongst students."And Winston Churchill wept..."In the UK, people suspected of being infected with Covid-19 could be held for up to six weeks under new...

"Not me... not mine..."

..."not today..."Mark Oliva, NSSF Public Affairs director, “FBI NICS informed NSSF that on Monday, March 16, 2020, volume for background checks was 300 percent higher than it was on March 16, 2019.”MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH:Those darned "medium sized" Canadians.********** LAST WORD: Remember back......

KNOCK, KNOCK!!!

...

"Much like professional basketball..."

..."pimping is a bit of a monoculture"...On Feb. 23, 2020, Tyrone McEwan was arrested and was charged.Looks like this is the family business...On Wednesday, March 11, 2020, Courtney McEwan was arrested in Peel Region and is now facing charges.Don't take my word for ...

Meanwhile, back in #DiversityStrongistan

On Tuesday, March 17 and Wednesday, March 18, 2020, investigators with the Homicide Unit arrested two men with ties to the tow truck industry and they have since been charged. Charged are Mohamad El-Zahawi, 38, of Toronto and Abdelaziz Ibrahim, 23, of Hamilton. The dead man was identified as as Soheil Rafipour, 33, of the City of Toronto. The investigation is ongoi...

Quebec... one sick elderly woman dies and...

...the poutine hits the fan... Try to imagine what would happen... if there was a real pandemic...“If we needed proof of the gravity of the situation, we have it now,” a subdued-sounding Legault said at his daily media briefing on the evolution of the virus in Quebec. Legault said the person who died...

Virus updates from the "Cradle of Civili..."

...sweet baby jebus..."A suspected coronavirus sufferer in Kenya, George Kotini Hezron was beaten by a group of youths armed with stones on his way home after visiting a bar in the village of Msambweni in Kwale County. He later died in hospital."********** That's not a knife... this is a knife..."The WHO's 2020 targets include reducing the number of people in Africa dying from HIV-related causes...

The Usual, well... you know

Toronto's "Irregular" firearms enthusiasts reap the whirlwind, yet again...Toronto Senior Crown attorney Paul Kelly argued Aruran Suthukaran, 22, was aiming his firearm at Shakkil Shiyamalaraj who was set to fight Suthukaran’s buddy, Anik Stewart, outside a Scarborough bar. Suthukaran fired at Shiyamalaraj...

In other "Not a Shithole" News...

It makes as much sense as all the other argle-bargle politicians are throwing around..."Baltimore Mayor Begs Residents To Stop Shooting Each Other So Hospital Beds Can Be Used For Coronavirus Patients."That's an actual headline... not "The Onion." It gets better... by which I mean worse..."The prospect...

POP QUIZ: How many people on earth...

...die every day?Hey, Canada... you wanna declare a "War on Death"... maybe start here..."Every day, on average, up to 4 Canadians are killed and many more are injured in alcohol and/or drug-related motor vehicle crashes on public roads."You can shove Justin's "#KungFlu" up your bunghole. ********** RELATED:...

So, my home internet is down...

...and I'm sitting in the parking lot of a fast food outlet leaching off their internet connection.Not too much new to say about this insanity. On the strength of less than a dozen old people dying countrywide, Trudeau has decided to crash the economy by opening up the taxpayer taps to the tune of...

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

Well... maybe not..."Dr. Oz appeared on Fox & Friends on Sunday morning and said something I hadn’t thought about before. He told the panel that many people have already had the coronavirus and didn’t know it because 80% of patients experience very subtle symptoms."We've crashed the stock market and fucked up countless people's lives over a big fat nothingburger. RELATED: Get a grip, you dumb...

Guess what, Canada?

OLD... PEOPLE... DIE...VICTORIA - "British Columbia has recorded three more deaths from COVID-19, all of them stemming from a long-term care home in North Vancouver where the first death in Canada was reported." "There has been a cluster of cases at the Lynn Valley Care Centre, where a man in his 80s...

Justin fixes the World...

...Episode 49..."The government of Canada has formally notified the United Nations that Canada's laws will not be in compliance with a treaty meant to stop rich countries from shipping their hazardous waste to poor countries. The federal government's request for a delay is the latest manifestation...

Commie-Pinko Californians...

...trade granola for Glocks during Woohoo crisis..."According to the LA Times, the line of customers at the Martin B. Retting Gun Shop in Culver City stretched out the front door and around the block on Saturday." "Many of those in line waited five hours for their opportunity to buy a gun."How the...