C'mon folks... have a little sympathy

If you'd lived outside the country for three and a half decades... you might not be familiar with... the way things usually work either...

"In his remarks, the Liberal Leader said his caucus would not support Tory MP Candice Hoeppner’s legislation to abolish the registry; the vote will be whipped, which is unusual for a private member’s bills as MPs are allowed to vote their conscience."

Hey, Iggy... is that how they did it down at Hah-vuhd?

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THE FARMER BOB RIFLE REGISTRY REVEALED:

Me: “Hello, I’m not a criminal so I have to report to you that I’ve moved.”

Constable on duty: “Huh?”

Me: “I legally own a rifle so I have to report to you that I’ve moved.”

Constable on duty: “Who said you have to do this?”

Me: “Your boss Chief Jack Ewatsky and Prime Minister Chretien.”

Constable on duty: “Well, I… uh are you sure?”

Can we have our 2 billion dollars back now?

(via ffof)

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LAST WORD: Scratch a Liberal...

...find Big Mother...

"Since the Dog Owners Liability Act was enacted in 2005, pit bulls have killed fewer Ontarians than former attorney general Michael Bryant."

I'm just waiting for the inevitable crackdown on farm animals.

Lemme see... you've got the largest...

...concentration of broken down whores & degenerate heroin addicts... in all of North America... and this goes to the top of the list...
I've just got one question.

Are you people out of your freakin' minds?

-- VANCOUVER -- It has been nearly a decade since three levels of government signed a landmark agreement designed to transform Vancouver's notorious Downtown Eastside, but the neighbourhood remains a vortex that sucks in junkies, the mentally ill and other desperate souls from across the country.

And that's AFTER pouring another 1.4 billion dollars worth of taxpayer money into this black hole of self-immolation.

And please, please, please... don't start yappin' about your wonderful... Baskin-Robbins-style Institute of Pharmacology.

The Nature of the Beast

Gentzkow and Shapiro found that the Internet is actually more ideologically integrated than old-fashioned forms of face-to-face association — like meeting people at work, at church or through community groups. You’re more likely to overlap with political opponents online than in your own neighborhood.

This study suggests that Internet users are a bunch of ideological Jack Kerouacs. They’re not burrowing down into comforting nests. They’re cruising far and wide looking for adventure, information, combat and arousal.

No wonder the dead tree media are worried.

It is not difficult to discern Mr. Rock’s own political bias in his sneering dismissal of Fox News as he attempts to get a laugh from his ideological soul mates in the room.

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RELATED: Hmmm... Cass Sunstein...

That sounds so familiar.

Gotta confess, if I wasn't an atheist...

...I'd wanna make sure I was on the winning team... the gold standard.

I'm not proud of it, folks... but I'd be shoppin' around for the Chuck Norris of religions...

-- BRAMPTON, Ontario, April 19 (UPI) -- A fistfight among some 70 Sikhs in a temple west of Toronto escalated into a brawl involving hammers and machetes, police said.

Whoa... pounding & cutting tools... nobody can accuse these guys these guys of taking their belief system lightly.

And, trust me, these devotees ain't no "one trick pony".

The incident comes only two weeks after well-known Sikh lawyer Manjit Mangat was stabbed with a kirpan at the Sikh Lehar Centre on Bramsteele Road in Brampton.

Yup... Sikhism is the gig for me.

Buddhists might get the chicks... but Sikhs kick serious ass.

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RELATED: Redefining the word... "tensions"

Apparently, these days, it encompasses the phrase... "machetes, small axes and hammers."

Call me old-fashioned... but back in the day, we would have called this "a bloody riot." Heck, ol' troglodyte me... I remember when stabbing someone with an edged weapon was called "attempted murder."

Professional journalists... our moral & intellectual superiors.

I solemnly swear... that I will not...

...kidnap, rape, torture and murder teenage girls... ever again, amen...

-- OTTAWA -- Prime Minister Stephen Harper says the government is powerless to stop killer Karla Homolka from applying for a pardon when she becomes eligible this summer -- and that 99% of applications are approved by the National Parole Board.

Powerless, you say?

If I don't pay my taxes... the government will take away my house and everything else I own... but they can't deal with this despicable child murderer?

Un-freakin-believable.

I understand the folks at Euro-Disney...

...are turning cartwheels...

The European Union has declared traveling a human right, and is launching a scheme to subsidize vacations with taxpayers' dollars for those too poor to afford their own trips.

The plan would see taxpayers footing some of the vacation bill for seniors, youths between the ages of 18 and 25, disabled people, and families facing "difficult social, financial or personal" circumstances.

**********

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"I can see China kicking their ass from my house."

I'm just astonished & aghast. I got nuthin'.

Hey, Pat... way to audible

Just a day earlier, Mr. Martin had defended the probe during an appearance on CTV’s Question Period. “It is a safe format, a safe setting where people can share what really went on.”

Sure, Pat... "sharing"... that's what everybody was doing.

You mean like when Michael Ignatieff was "sharing" his thoughts on a possible Guergis-Corleone Family connection?

-- OTTAWA -- Michael Ignatieff is drawing a link between disgraced former cabinet minister Helena Guergis and organized crime.

But heck... I guess you've had a change of heart, huh?

“There are all kinds of reasons why we should put the brakes on this,” Mr. Martin said. “I’ve talked this over with our senior people, including our leader.

And, I'm guessing, the party's libel lawyers.

**********

RELATED: Paging Michael Ignatieff

How's that "guilt by association" thing working out for you?

"Surrey Liberal MP Sukh Dhaliwal has written to a U.S. District Court judge on official House of Commons stationery in support of convicted international drug trafficker Ranjit Singh Cheema, The Vancouver Sun has learned."

Funny... I don't remember a month long media shitstorm about this story.

Nirvana Inc. Q2 earnings forecast...

...downgraded on news of possible impending virgin shortage...

"U.S. and Iraqi officials say the two most senior al-Qaida leaders in Iraq have been killed in a joint operation near the northern city of Tikrit."

Once again... the capricious & unknowable "Will of Allah".

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QOTW:

"All your burka are belong to us."

Lululululululu!!!!

Imagine driving your car off the road...

...at 90 miles per hour...
Just spitballin' here, folks... but I'm guessing you don't need a degree in quantum physics to "foresee the possible consequences" here.

Meanwhile... in other "gravity holding shit down" news...

"Satisfies unwritten constitutional requirement that GG' be married to effete metrosexual."

Oh gawd... I think I just peed my pants.

G&M misses headline opportunity

How about... "Police stop terrorist armed with 5000 kg missile?"

-- TORONTO -- "Reports suggested the driver was going through red lights with his headlights off. Police reportedly set up a roadblock and opened fire when the driver steered his car at them." --

Hey, Gomer... you call the tune... ...don't be too surprised somebody punches your dance card.

**********

UPDATE: Guided missile driver id'd

"Ontario's Special Investigations Unit (SIU) is continuing to probe the circumstances surrounding the death of 50-year-old Wieslaw Duda of Mississauga."

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RELATED: Count Ignatieff to whip vote...

...on "Farmer Bob Rifle Registry"... 'cos it's obviously time to kick a little duck hunter, target shooter, sheep farmer ass...

-- OTTAWA -- Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff says he’ll require his caucus to oppose the next vote to scrap the controversial long-gun registry.

He says a new Liberal government would also eliminate fees for new licences, renewals and upgrades.

Uh, Michael... does this mean we get our "two billion dollars" back?

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LAST WORD: Paging Corrections Canada

Here's a thought. Just lock everything up tight & leave them there.

They'll figure it out in a day or so.

Your office playoff pool

If there are fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs taking part in your draft, remember to build in some extra time at the start for explaining what "playoffs" means.

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FROM THE COMMENTS:

"We went for a driving tour this weekend and we passed by a local Pub/eatery that had a great sign on it."

"FREE BEER FOR EVERY LEAF PLAYOFF GAME"

Ooooh... that's gonna leave a mark.

We send all those "Peacekeepers"...

...over to the Congo... who's gonna pull security detail in troubled Khalistan, British Columbia?

More than 100,000 people attended the religious parade and festival in the Vancouver suburb, but Surrey Mayor Dianne Watts said she was disappointed the parade included a float honouring Sikh separatist extremists as martyrs.

There were also posters of men who founded what are considered terrorist groups and who played a role in assassinating Indian prime minister Indira Gandhi, along with the slogan "They gave their today for our tomorrow."

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RELATED: More SPC 101...

"The same liberals who support the Sikhs' right to carry knives want to ban handguns."

Oh Canada.

Screw Disneyland

You wanna have an adventure... head for Meh-hee-coe...

"It was like watching two drunk guys in a bar fighting over a girl they didn't know was a hooker." --

Ole.

Believe it or not...

...that semen-stained dress may not actually be Slick Willie's finest moment... although I have to admit, selling your wife down the river... more than once... has gotta be a contender...

"Everything I learned in eight years as president … has convinced me that Barack Obama is the man for this job," Mr. Clinton said to a wildly waving sea of American flags.

Why does anybody listen to anything this guy has to say?

MSM wants to have it both ways

That's funny... just last week nobody was talking presumption of innocence... they were all, to a man, just screeching non-stop about hookers & blow.

Looks like they've suddenly had an epiphany...

But there's a larger issue here, the presumption of innocence, which has been thrown under the bus along with them. And for that, the prime minister bears a responsibility of his own.

Hang on a sec... wasn't this whole story all about Stephen Harper refusing to act on this matter?

Now that's he's acted... it's about "tossing someone under the bus"?

Seriously?

How stupid do they think we are?

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RELATED: Ask a private investigator

He said they discussed allegations against Gillani, an occasion when Jaffer and Guergis apparently dined with Gillani, and a gesture Gillani apparently made, holding up his cellphone, implying he had potentially incriminating photographic evidence of the former power couple.

Hey... it was enough for Michael Ignatieff & Jack Layton to go absolutely apeshit in the media last week.

Imagine... he held up his cellphone.

No wonder all the so-called professional journalists are backstroking as fast as they can.

**********

FROM THE COMMENTS: Looks like Ignatieff is...

...late to the party... again...

-- OTTAWA -- Michael Ignatieff is drawing a link between disgraced former cabinet minister Helena Guergis and organized crime.

And they say Iggy is the smart one.

This one should have started...

..."Once upon a time..."

On Saturday Mr Gates’s spokesman, Geoff Morrell issued a statement saying, “The secretary believes the president and his national security team have spent an extraordinary amount of time and effort considering and preparing for the full range of contingencies with respect to Iran.”

Unfortunately, those pretty words don't reflect the reality...

U.S Defence Secretary Robert Gates has warned in a secret memo to senior White House officials that the United States does not have an effective long-term strategy for dealing with Iran’s nuclear programme.

Ironically... the Iranians are having no difficulty figuring out the "Great Satan"...

"Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has labelled the US an 'atomic criminal' at a conference on nuclear disarmament in Tehran."

**********

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"The full range of contingencies?"

"You mean the range between 'blame Bush' and 'give a good speech'?"

Yeah... that sounds about right.

Don't you worry, my friend...

...wherever there is intolerable, world-shaking injustice... Dr Dawg will be there... to lift a leg...

It was a lovely, cold, breezy sunny morning. The llamas were grazing in the field. Two goldfinches were snacking on sunflower seed kernels from the bird-feeder.

I tried to work up a head of indignation about some elderly couple somewhere, running a little B&B business, not wanting two gay men to share a bed in their house… and… oh, I don’t know, I just couldn’t get angry about it.

And yet the planet continues to spin.

Good ol' Dawg... if I only had a buck for every time he called me a racist. He's certainly not shy about tossing his hurtful words around. Look what he said to a female Blogging Tory...

“I’m beginning to think, alas, that CC found exactly the right word to describe you, you Christian hypocrite.”
posted by Dr.Dawg | 06.15.09 – 9:11 pm

Geez, Dawg... what word is that?

Hmmm... I wonder what Mr Sensitivity would say to Angela Williams...

“He should not have been out on the street,” murder victim Ronell Williams’ mom, Angela Williams. Ronell Williams’ mom is correct. The fact Bourne, who is a cousin of slain teen Jordan Manners, was even free at all on Sept. 9, 2007 is embarrassing.

Maybe his third gun conviction will finally teach murderer Andre Dexter Bourne a lesson?

Woof.

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LAST WORD: Bright lights, big city...

Looks like London has their very own Jane Creba...

Two people have been arrested on suspicion of murdering a 16-year-old girl who was shot in the neck in an east London takeaway. Police said those being held were a 16-year-old boy and a 21-year-old man.

The shooting is being dealt with by detectives from Operation Trident - the Metropolitan Police unit which investigates serious crime in London's black community.

Hmmm... why would they need a "dedicated" investigative unit?

Yeah, Dawg, I know... we're not supposed to talk about this... because it's racism.

He has the technology

Given that the most optimistic evaluation of Obama's stimulus plan included this language, "If we do everything right, there's still a 30 percent chance we'll get it wrong," and that the government's record of "getting everything right" is shaky at best, the new department's current goal is to prepare for the impending "30%" outcome.

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RELATED: Message in a bottle

Tycho Ted here, writing from Luna City, located near Shackleton Crater. I live here in about 2110, and I’ve been reading a bunch of history books recently - Luna City, as you probably don’t know, since it ain’t happened yet, was founded by several private firms in 2020, primarily SpaceX and Bigelow Aerospace.

I understand that back there in 2010 you’ve got a President named O’Bama. What, was he from Ireland, or something? He was black, wasn’t he? From Ireland?

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LAST WORD: Reading the tea leaves

If unemployment doesn't abate and incomes don't rise much, President Obama could easily be hovering around 40% approval in November. What does the generic ballot, which is partially keyed off of the President's approval rating, look like then?

The real question is... does President McDreamy have a plan B?

Like lab rats in a big metal tube

Welcome to David Miller's new & improved... "socialist paradise"...

Mr. Miller has never let lack of money stand in the way of grand spending plans, so it is understandable he would be bewildered that the province might see the need to do so. The issue is whether transit riders should be forced to listen to his side of the argument while trying to get from Point A to Point B.

Adam Giambrone, the TTC chairman who has long been a Miller ally, and who hoped to succeed the Mayor until a sex scandal ended his campaign, defended the move, noting that the Premier can use provincial resources to respond, if he chooses.

That’s just what we need: Two politicians using public resources to squabble over money in front of a trapped audience.

Relax Toronto... he's just doing it "for your own good".

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RELATED: Professional journalists...

...our moral & intellectual superiors...

The issue here isn’t which person acted worse. It’s about the media thinking they can feed us tidbits of opaquely-wrapped popcorn and beer; and that we’ll dutifully swallow it because the great Press Gallery Class has told us so.

Say ahhhh...

More Pavilions at Folk Fair

If you build it... they will come...

Six months ago, migrants who landed off the B.C. coast were deemed potential terrorist threats. Now many of them live in Toronto and collect welfare. What happened?

I guess the Globe & Mail imagines that they are asking the BIG QUESTIONS... unfortunately the answer here is... it's just "business as usual".