Too many social workers...

...not enough cops...

At approximately 11:07 p.m. Wednesday, a man was gunned down at one of Toronto’s busiest intersections, Yonge-Dundas Square, and the suspects got away. CityNews has exclusively obtained an email that purportedly shows a Toronto police officer from 51 division sounding the alarm over what they perceived to be a lack of police on city streets — less than one hour before the fatal shooting.

According to the email, allegedly sent shortly before 10:30 p.m. on Wednesday, all five police cruisers working in 51 Division were “tied up,” with 31 calls still pending.

So far in 2018, gun violence alone in downtown Toronto has increased by over 150 per cent compared to this time last year.

But that's Wednesdays news... what's happening tonight?

A male victim believed to be in his late teens has been taken to a trauma centre in critical condition after a shooting in the area of Weston Road and Sheppard Avenue at around 10:45 p.m. Thursday.

**********

RELATED: It could've been worse...

Toronto police are hunting a two-man execution team believed to be behind separate assassination attempts. Both bids failed, one of which was thanks to an astounding gun malfunction at the final moment.

Investigators are trying to trace the hooded duo who were filmed by CCTV attempting to gun down two different men in the Regent Park neighborhood of the city on Wednesday night.

**********

LAST WORD: CTV says, "let's blame global warming"

"As temperatures rise in Canada’s largest city so has the number of gun-related crimes."

What's up with Toronto?

That's what... a half dozen bodies in the last ten days?

TORONTO — A man is dead following an 11 p.m. shooting on Wednesday in one of Toronto’s busiest intersections. Police say the man was shot on the Yonge St. sidewalk at Yonge-Dundas Square in the heart of downtown.

Don't be black, don't be black... GAWWWDAMMMMITTT!

"A Pickering teen who died after a shooting in Yonge-Dundas Square on Wednesday night has been identified as Israel Edwards, age 18."

Mayor John Tory called the incident “shocking” and commented...

“The objective is very simple, which is to make sure Yonge-Dundas Square remains safe.”

As safe as it was for young Israel, Mr. Mayor?

Diversity is our streng...

...you know what... I give up...

There was no ambiguity over how Gurratan Singh, NDP candidate in Brampton East felt about Toronto Police.

“FUCK THE POLICE,” said the protest sign that Singh, the brother of federal NDP leader Jagmeet Singh, carried during a downtown demonstration

At the time, Singh was pursuing philosophy and religious studies at McMaster University.

Apparently, the social justice apple doesn't fall that far from the political tree.

**********

RELATED: NDP... NDP... that sounds so familiar...

Toronto–St. Paul's NDP candidate Jill Andrew, a self-described black, queer, fat activist posted on social media that she was giving Toronto’s black police chief the “Coon Award.”

She also "devotes her time to fat justice and activism against 'sizeism.'”

So, Andrea... what's the deal here?

Remember, back... you were a kid...

...you had to worry about getting fragged at the theatre...

Yeah... me neither...

A bomb threat forced the cancellation of the opening night of the Stratford Festival on Monday evening and prompted an evacuation of as many as 2,000 people from the Festival Theatre.

Organizers of the festival said ticket buyers will be reimbursed and that performances will proceed Tuesday — with added security.

Well, alright... lets go out for a little dinn... sweet baby jebus...

***********

RELATED: Two female cops, one passerby murdered...

A gunman has killed two police officers and a passer-by before being shot dead in the centre of the Belgian city of Liege, in what a public prosecutor classed "as a terrorist incident".

A Belgian lawmaker said the man had been on an anti-terrorist police watchlist after being radicalised in jail, apparently as a convert to Islam — raising questions about why he seems to have been freed unsupervised and expected to return.

Confirming the attacker was on the police watchlist, lawmaker George Dallemagne, who sits on several Belgian parliamentary security committees, tweeted: "The supervision of radicalised prisoners remains tragically flawed."

**********

UPDATE: Belgian dead identified...

The police officers have been identified as Soraya Belkacemi, 44, and Lucile Garcia, 54. The passenger in the car was named as Cyril Vangriecken, 22, who was preparing to become a primary school teacher.

The capricious and unknowable Will of Allah.

Come for the atmosphere...

...stay for the autopsy...

Police are searching for suspects after a man was shot and killed at around 11:30 p.m. near Yorkville Avenue and Bay Street Monday night.

**********

UPDATE: Dead man is 37-year-old Matthew Staikos

“What we’ve seen since 2014 is a 145 per cent increase in shooting victims, 11 per cent increase over last year… Last year we had a record of almost 600 shooting victims in the city,” McCormack told CP24.

But, wait... there's more...

Toronto police say one male has suffered serious injuries after a shooting near Yorkdale Shopping Centre on Ranee Avenue just east of Dufferin Street, around 11:30 p.m. Monday night.

What's that... five homicides in the last ten days?

I suppose it could be worse...

"This violence is occurring in a city where gun control has been the go-to solution for crime for decades. The city banned handgun ownership in 1982, only to see the murder rate skyrocket."

Diversity is our streng...

...wait a sec...

A former Canadian passport officer, Aline Zeitoune, 44, took part in a scheme that provided people with false identities with passports, a judge determined. Zeitoune processed 24 fraudulent applications from imposters between June 6, 2012 and Jan. 31, 2013.

So, who were these "applicants?" What was their agenda? Are they now all locked up?

Smell the journalism.

**********

RELATED: This is happening today...

...every Starbucks in America is closed...

"So when a couple of black people a few weeks ago wanted to use the restroom at a Starbucks in Philadelphia without buying anything, and they refused three requests from employees to leave and three more requests from the cops to do the same, Starbucks took the only action open to it: give the black people lots of free stuff, then hold a racial sensitivity training session for 177,000 employees of Starbucks."

In other "glass half full" news...

Hmmm... if only there was a law...

Toronto Police were called to an altercation just before 1 a.m. near Overlord Cr. and Hupfield Trail. “Initial reports were five people had been stabbed, but when police arrived only two were found,” said police spokesman Katrina Arrogante.

But, wait... there's more...

One man is dead and three people were injured following four separate shootings late Sunday night in Toronto. Venojan Suthesan, 21, was pronounced dead at the scene, police said Monday morning. The city’s latest homicide happened as police were investigating three other shootings across Toronto in the span of 45 minutes.

Get out while you still can.

**********

MEANWHILE BACK IN JUSTINTOWN: Who needs guns...

...when you've got man-mountain fists...

An 18-year-old man, Tyler Hikoalok of Cambridge Bay, Nunavut has been arrested in connection with the murder of 59-year-old librarian Elisabeth Salm in downtown Ottawa last Thursday. She had been working alone at the Christian Science Reading Room at the time of the attack.

Over at the CBC, they seem to be having trouble figuring out who the actual victim is...

"The key thing that needs to be highlighted is the [wait for it...] importance around mental health and intergenerational trauma. I asked him constantly, is everything OK, what's going on, and he never told me any of his challenges."

Like, you know... resisting the urge to rape and beat a woman to death... a detail your "national broadcaster" appears to have skipped over...

Salm, 59, a librarian at the Christian Science Reading Room, was found bloodied, beaten unconscious and half-naked inside the office of the drop-in space.

**********

RELATED: Nunavut, Nunavut... that sounds so familiar...

"Just seven years into the much-heralded creation of Canada's third territory, Nunavut is racked by violence, with rates of homicide, assault, robbery, rape and suicide stunningly above the national average."

Unfreakinbelievable.

Justin Trudeau's biggest policy triumph...

...may not be all it's cracked up to be...

What people are consuming now is the product of a weed “arms race,” Robert MacCoun, a drug policy expert at the University of California at Berkeley, has said. In the 1990s, THC levels ran in the range of 3.7 to 10 percent. These days, the average potency on the Colorado market is 18.7 percent, according to a lab test.

Another study published by the Lancet in 2015 reported that patients using high-potency cannabis show a three-times increase in psychotic disorder risk.

According to a 2015 study conducted by researchers at Yale School of Medicine, using marijuana makes a person two and a half times more likely to abuse prescription opioids.

**********

RELATED: Don't get me started on the Dippers

Toronto the Good...

...showing a little wear around the edges...

Police were called to a home on Torrens Avenue between Broadview and Pape Avenues around 2:15 a.m. on Saturday where they found the lifeless body of a woman suffering from obvious signs of trauma in one of the bedrooms.

The woman has been identified as 41-year-old Rhoderie Estrada, a mother of three children who many in the neighbourhood described as a wonderful neighbor.

The 33rd murder of 2018.

**********

RELATED: I blame the National Cutlery Association

A man was taken to a trauma centre with serious injuries following a stabbing in the Kingston Road and Lee Avenue area shortly after 11 p.m. on Friday night.

And...

A man in his 20s is in hospital following a stabbing around 10:30 p.m. on Friday night in the Clearview Heights and Black Creek Drive area. Police found the victim with serious injuries, bleeding from stab wounds.

**********

LAST WORD: It's the new Wild West...

Police responded to a call in the area of Chinguacousy Road and Bovaird Drive area of Brampton shortly after 10 p.m. after reports of shots fired. Peel police say 26-year-old Nasser Abdoulkader was pronounced dead at the scene.

Come for the curry...

...stay for the cataclysm...

Two disguised men entered the Bombay Bhel restaurant, near a major Mississauga, Ontario intersection, planted an improvised explosive device and then fled. Moments later, at around 10:30 p.m. the device detonated, injuring at least 15 people.

I noticed the photo was labelled "Camera 13."

That's one security-conscious family eatery.

**********

RELATED: Diversity is our streng...

...sweet baby jebus!

“In speaking with the forensic pathologist, the deceased person was shot over 20 times — 20 individual strikes.”

Somebody wanted to be really, really sure.

**********

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH:

Can you say "Regent Park?"

A new specialty at Law School

...Civil Wrongs Lawyer...

“It is deeply troubling when innocent parties are falsely accused and I am truly sorry for any trouble these claims may have caused Officer Hubbard and his family. I take full responsibility for amplifying these claims to the point of national concern,” said civil rights attorney Lee Merritt of Waxahachie, Texas.

Think this sort of thing couldn't happen here?

You'd be wrong.

The Vancouver Police Department’s...

...message is simple...I'm calling it the "Three Stooges meets Frankenstein Defence"... which, sadly, relies heavily on idiots, explosives & falling anvils...

STEP ONE:

"If this happens to you, run!"

STEP TWO:

"If running is not an option, hide."

STEP THREE:

"If you can’t hide, fight."

STEP FOUR:

"Attack to incapacitate."

Hey, don't be a party-pooper... John Wick apparently once killed three men with a pencil.

**********

FROM THE COMMENTS:

"Look around you. Can you make some sort of rudimentary lathe?"

Think outside the constabulary. Maybe uproot a sapling or a stop sign to use as a bludgeon, or maneuver your attackers under a piano being lifted by ropes into a nearby hi-rise...

"The instructions are reinforced by a video released on Wednesday to teach the public how to react before first-responders are on scene."

The truth is... you've always been on your own. The VPD is just, (likely under pressure from their legal department), finally acknowledging that reality.

Just ask Jaiden Jackson.

Third homicide in a week

Remember, back, you were a kid... neighbours eatin' dirt like an old John Wayne movie...

Yeah, me neither

TORONTO — Toronto Police are investigating the ‘targeted’ murder of Abbegail Elliott, 21, in an Annex apartment Wednesday afternoon. The Spadina subway station was temporarily closed due to the investigation.

The 32nd murder of 2018.

**********

UPDATE: Surprise, surprise...

Two suspects seen running from the building on Wednesday have been identified as Saria Lopez Iglesias, 26 and David Obregon Castro, 25 of Toronto. They have both been arrested and charged with one count each of first-degree murder.

**********

RELATED: I blame the National Cutlery Association

Toronto Police issued a public safety alert after a knife-wielding stranger attacked two 15-year-old boys on a Scarborough street on Tuesday afternoon.

Not all Heroes wear Capes

Wonder if they've got tiny... "Jaws of Life of the Party?"

German firefighters are being trained to rescue men who have sex toy emergencies. Apparently, for the firefighters, it’s become a tonne of Teutonic trouble.

The new training is teaching them to cut off penis rings or to extract toys from, er, hard to reach places. The new initiative was launched after a slew of calls from kinkos in chaos.

Because it's 2018, right Justin?

That order capped a surreal 30-minute court appearance in which Rotondo didn't deny that his parents had given him multiple orders to leave their 408 Weatheridge Drive home. But Rotondo wasn't going to leave without a legal battle.

Greenwood tried to convince Rotondo to speak directly to his parents, Mark and Christina, while the judge waited. Rotondo refused, saying he'd made his legal arguments.

Sorry, Fraggle Rock...

...call me picky, but I have less than no interest in lounging about or consuming foodstuffs in a homeless shelter...

"On Saturday the company announced that 'any customer is welcome to use Starbucks spaces, including our restrooms, cafes and patios, regardless of whether they make a purchase'."

If you don't "make a purchase," are you actually a customer?Let's ask a hipster.

One viewer said “it will be a homeless camp. At least we won’t have to deal with them on the street.”

**********

RELATED: If you build it, they will...

...oh my gawd...

"Junkies are filling Bronx parks with over 5,000 used needles a week."

Incentivising homelessness & drug use... there's a solution.

You're gonna shoot the King...

...it's best you don't miss...There's no such thing as a half-hearted coup.

In response, it seems Washington diapers are beginning to overflow...

"Former CIA director and high profile anti-Trump Resistance activist John Brennan called on Republican congressional leadership to stop Trump from looking into any of that."

Toronto Homicide Cops round up...

...farmers, hunters and... wait a minute...

Toronto paramedics confirmed that one male victim, since identified by police as Mohammed Gharda, 17, of Toronto, was pronounced dead at the scene after a shooting in Scarborough early Sunday morning. An 18-year-old male was taken to hospital with serious, possibly life-threatening injuries.

But, wait... there's more...

"One man is dead following a shooting in the city’s downtown in the area of Yonge and Wellington streets on Sunday night, Toronto police confirm. Three armed suspects fled the area westbound on Wellington Street in a small black car."

Surprise, surprise...

"He has been identified as 28-year-old Toronto-resident Jaiden Jackson. Police say Jackson was at Pick 6, a newly opened restaurant and sports bar co-owned by the rapper Drake and his head of security, when he left with an unidentified woman around 9 p.m. "

Toronto's 30th & 31st homicides of 2018.

**********

UPDATE: The hits just keep on coming...

"A male victim believed to be in his teens was injured in a North York shooting at around 2 p.m. Monday afternoon in the area of Jane Street and Sheppard Avenue. Two male suspects were seen fleeing the area after the shooting, according to officers. No descriptions of the suspects have been released."

**********

RELATED: Pays you money, takes you chances...

Toronto police are investigating after one man sustained serious injuries in a stabbing at Spadina Station Sunday afternoon. Police said the stabbing may have taken place in the pedestrian tunnel at the busy station.

Subway trains on lines 1 are currently bypassing Spadina Station because of the investigation.

**********

LAST WORD: A little "Felonious Interruptus"

The two suspects taken into custody were identified by police as Amiin Mohamoud, 18, and Zarie Pitamba, 18, both of Toronto.

Each is facing a dozen charges relating to firearms possession and drugs possession.

Ever wonder why Ontario is...

...drowning in debt...

Reminiscent of the privatization of Highway 407, the sale involves a massive transfer of wealth from the Government of Ontario, and ultimately all Ontarians, to the private sector. Within two days of Great Canadian’s financial disclosures of the deal’s terms its stock price jumped by 36 per cent, adding some $840-million of market value to the company. As evidenced by stock market reactions, the accepted bid was clearly below market value.

Continued poor-decision making by the Ontario Liberals, especially when it comes to protecting taxpayer dollars, only serves to fuel anti-government, anti-establishment views in the province.

Just wait til Kathleen Wynddfarm becomes North America's biggest drug lord.

Not that their federal counterparts are abstemious...

Trudeau’s Liberals will bill you $548.39 for coffee for six when a trip to Timmy’s would cost you about $11 and a more expensive coffee shop, say Starbucks would cost you $15.

**********

LAST WORD: Diversity is our streng...

...WTF...

TORONTO – The mayor of Toronto says the city will need to open an emergency reception centre over the next seven days to deal with an influx of refugees claimants.

First Trump... now Jordan Peterson

The mainstream media and their "anybody I don't like is a Nazi" journalism...

"The attack on Peterson by the Forward was click-bait disguised as reporting. This new genre of 'news' combines fake outrage by authors and masochistic curiosity by readers who lack the time or discipline to do proper research."

**********

RELATED: More imaginary "hate crimes"

“He went to Starbucks, and they asked for his name, and his name is ‘Peter,’ and they wrote this ‘beaner.’

And he’s saying that’s not fair.”

Sounds about right to me

The "once upon a time" people are reaping the whirlwind...

TORONTO – The Globe and Mail is making a number of editorial and design changes to better focus on their most loyal demographic, people who have passed away whose families have not remembered to end their subscriptions.

“We keep trying to make inroads with the ‘alive’ elderly but they just think we’re too out of touch.” stated Crawley “All it takes is someone’s grandkid teaching them how to use an iPad and then there’s one less subscriber.”

Remember back, you were a kid...

...all those violent gun battles on Ontario highways & byways...

Yeah... me neither...

"Police have made two arrests after a man was shot while travelling in a vehicle with his wife and two toddlers on April 30 outside a residential high-rise building in the Finch Avenue and Duncanwood Drive area.

Tesfa Welsh-Hope of Toronto, and Jeangat Nsiah of Toronto, are facing a combined 30 charges, including four counts of attempted murder each."

**********

RELATED: I blame the National Cutlery Association

**********

LAST WORD: Tornto the not so good

Police were called to a bar at 1721 Eglinton Avenue West, between Dufferin Street and Oakwood Avenue, just before 10 p.m. for a report of a shooting.

Land of the Brave...

...Home of Free Money...

Sources in the Somali community told Fox 9 it is an open secret that starting a daycare center is a license to make money.

In order for the scheme to work, the daycare centers need to sign up low income families that qualify for child care assistance funding. Surveillance videos from a case prosecuted by Hennepin County show parents checking their kids into a center, only to leave with them a few minutes later. Sometimes, no children would show up.

Either way, the center would bill the state for a full day of childcare.

Hmmm... whaddaya think it costs to house, clothe, feed, educate and doctor 50,000 Syrians? I have no idea because no one in government is willing to say.

**********

RELATED: A Tale of Two Cities

DIXON – A 19-year-old former Dixon High student is in custody with a non-life-threatening gunshot wound to the shoulder after bringing a gun to the school this morning. The man shot at school resource officer Mark Dallas, who returned fire around 8 a.m., Sheriff John Simonton said.

"We're lucky the officer was there. His brave actions saved a lot of lives," said City Administrator Danny Langloss, whose daughter was among the seniors in the gym.

Compare that to...

Former Broward deputy Scot Peterson is collecting $8,702.35 per month on his pension, following his resignation after he failed to confront the Parkland shooter.

There are givers and there are takers.

Jordan Peterson for Prime Minister

Peterson is an apologist for a set of beliefs that we once took for granted but now require an articulate defense, such as: Free speech is an essential value; perfect equality inevitably conflicts with individual freedom; one should be cautious before attempting to reengineer social institutions that appear to be working; men and women are, in certain quantifiable respects, different.

He is promoted by Random House Canada as a bearer of timeless truths and denounced on Canadian public television as a borderline fascist.

The perfect antidote for Prime Minister "Sunny Ways."

**********

COMPARE AND CONTRAST: Smell the "social justice"...

Rinaldo Walcott, the Director of the Women & Gender Studies Institute at the University of Toronto, has long argued that free speech is an ideal designed to uphold “white supremacy.”

In December, Walcott called embattled Wilfrid Laurier teaching assistant Lindsay Shepherd a “crying white girl.”

**********

RELATED: Taking wisdom where you find it**********

LAST WORD: Dear Secret Service... "This is CNN"

"Cillizza’s GIF comes just days after MSNBC host Nicolle Wallace made a reference to strangling White House press secretary Sarah Sanders."

FROM THE COMMENTS:

If my life is in danger, please send me an alert and get my attention, by all means. If a kid has been kidnapped, please let me know, but don’t make me crash my car or drop what I’m holding with an obnoxious shrill alert.

And don’t do it twice, so I can further despise our national bilingual policy.

And don’t do it three times to tell me the kid has been found.

This was a major fail.

**********

RELATED: I'm from the government...

...I'm here to save you...

"People cannot opt out of this," said CRTC spokeswoman Patricia Valladao. "There is a high importance that people -- want it or not -- receive these alerts."

Here's a few home truths...

Cellphone amber alerts are political virtue-signalling and have nothing to do with missing children. The last thing the government wants is citizens tackling random mothers & children in public. It's mostly about blasting out a "we care" message to the entire political constituency at once.

The real purpose of this system, however... is for use in anticipated mass casualty events, like the terrorist bombings and shootings we see happening in Europe. When that 9/11 type event inevitably happens in Canada, the Civil Defence wallahs need a way to control and damp down the panicked populace. Think about that.

There's another 200,000 votes...

...for Doug Ford...

"The board members of Ontario power utility Hydro One voted to boost compensation for their own part-time jobs to $185,000 a year, at a time when the company's share price was falling. The board of Hydro One is already under fire for sweetening the severance pay of its top executives."

Liberal Premier Kathleen Wynne appointed all the current directors, who meet once a month, in 2015.

The document shows the board approved the following compensation increases:

$70,000 raise for the chair of the board (to $330,000).
$25,000 raise for regular board members (to $185,000).

So that's $15,400 taxpayer dollars per day for a regular board member. And $27,500 for the Chairman.

Nice job if you can get it er... kiss up to Premier Wynndfarm sufficiently.

**********

RELATED: Ask a Conservative

“They have the nerve to increase their compensation,” PC Leader Doug Ford said. “A part-time job — they were making $160,000 – they gave themselves a pay increase up to $185,000. Who does that?”

A statement from Hydro One’s directors says their compensation had been far below that of peers.

If you build it, they will...

...sweet baby jebus...

"Sweden is also remarkable for a shocking number of grenade attacks, with criminals using the military explosives at least 43 times in 2017."

**********

RELATED: Those poor Palestinian protes...

...now wait just a second...

That's some "Religion of Peace"

The TV report said Hamas had been spurring the violent protests, and telling Gazans who die in the violence that they will be guaranteed a place in paradise. It said women were prominent among the protesters.

It said Hamas leaders were seeking to grab control of even a small part of Israeli territory, even for a brief moment, in order to claim a symbolic victory and the start of a “return” en route to liberate Palestine.

Protesters on Sunday were heard chanting “Death to America.”

Which didn't work out as well as they thought it would.

**********

RELATED: Speaking of "Right of Return"...

...where's PM Dressup in all this?

Few who left to join ISIS have been charged upon their return, an issue that has been raised repeatedly in the House of Commons, with the Conservatives accusing the Liberals of greeting returning ISIS members with “group-hug sessions.”

The best the RCMP can do is send an intervention team. The intervention teams can “engage with the returnee and the returnee’s family to open up dialogue with the individual and to help support the returnee’s disengagement from their radical ideology and past behavior.”

Unlike the United Kingdom, which has revoked the citizenship of ISIS fighters so they cannot return, Canadians who go abroad to commit terrorism have a “right to return,” according to a Briefing Note prepared for Public Safety Minister Ralph Goodale.

The government estimates that about 190 Canadian extremists are currently active in terrorist groups overseas, mostly in Syria and Iraq. An additional 60 have returned, and police are bracing for another wave of returnees over the next one to three months.

**********

LAST WORD: Little Mosque on the Hudson

A local Muslim woman, Jabin Ahmed Ruhii, took to Facebook to express her frustration. “Although the invitation letter said, ‘dear brothers and sisters’ – the men were explicitly told that women are not a part of this gathering,” she wrote.

The president of the Islamic Center, Abdul Hannan says there wasn't enough space for women and because of security concerns not all community members were invited.

Mr. Hannan believes things are fine following a meeting. "She realised that she needed to talk to us instead of posting her thoughts on Facebook," he says.

Ms. Ruhii describes the meeting as "tense but respectful."

As in...

"We told them the women in your community do not feel accepted," Ruhii says. "You haven't opened the doors for us."

Doesn't sound fine to me, Abdul.

Sometimes, the herd...

... just thins itself...

A man in his 20s is dead after he fell about six metres to the ground from an electrical tower early Sunday in Toronto, paramedics say. The man is believed to have climbed the tower and fallen after there was a small flash or explosion.

**********

RELATED: You forget your kevlar, brah...

...that's on you...

A 26-year-old Toronto man, Kevin Prempeh, has been identified as the victim of a deadly shooting in Vaughan over the weekend.

Prempeh, Prempeh... that sounds so familiar.

There is just some stuff...

...a level of detail I really don't need to know...

"Huda then brings in the expert in all things vagina, Dr. Doris Day, who is definitely not the ’60s movie star, but a certifiably Googleable New York dermatologist to talk us through 'DIY vagina lightening hacks,' using ingredients such as lemon juice, yogurt, coconut oil and egg whites."

Hmmm...

Maybe the question isn’t what happened to Alan Dershowitz.

Maybe it’s what happened to everyone else.

Life's little mysteries

UPDATE: Feeling safer yet?

Khamzat Asimov, the suspect in a deadly knife attack in central Paris on Saturday evening, born in 1997 in Chechnya was on a French terrorist watch list.

Yup... here we go again...

The police said the attacker was armed with a knife, but gave no other details.

French media reported that two people are dead, and BFM television said one of them is the alleged attacker. The motive or reason for the attack was unclear.

Which was echoed by the CBC...

"The identity of the attack suspect and the reason for the attack are unclear."

**********

UPDATE: Oh, wait... I think there's a clue!

"A witness told The Independent the assailant was shouting "Allahu akbar" and trying to get into restaurants as diners barricaded the doors."

Chechnya, Chechnya... that sounds so familiar.

You can almost smell...

...the professional journalism...

The advertisement read, “Everyone smiles in the same language!” and was promoting a teeth-whitening treatment.

Yet another gang of horrific hate criminals exposed to a shocked nations gaze.

COMPARE AND CONTRAST:

The owner of Joe Van Gogh Coffee is closing his shop on the Duke University campus, he said Friday, to preserve the company’s “brand independence without conditions.”

Like, you know... the right to broadcast this heartwarming rap ditty...

"♫ Never trust a bitch, never trust a nigga
Fuck bitches, fuck bitches, Get the scrilla ♫"

Now... who would you rather be associated with?

Yet another Trudeau "friend"...

...drops a steaming diversity deuce in the Liberals big tent...

Jaspal Atwal, the man at the centre of the Trudeau's India trip fiasco, was recently arrested and charged with one count of uttering threats to cause death or bodily harm, the Sun has learned.

Photos of Atwal surfaced with Liberal politicians and Sophie Trudeau, raising questions about security protocol and the screening and vetting of delegation invitees.

Atwal was convicted of attempted murder in 1986 when he tried to assassinate a visiting Indian politician to Canada.

**********

RELATED: Speaking of Sainted Sophie

**********

LAST WORD: How the sausage is really made...

OTTAWA -- Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has called a byelection for the Quebec riding of Chicoutimi-Le Fjord, only days after pledging $60 million in federal funding for an aluminum-smelting project in the area.

And, from the folks who brought you the Phoenix payroll system...

"It's the largest sole-source deal ever signed by Shared Services Canada. It may be the largest non-competitive contract in federal procurement history."

And, apparently... Abu was right

Public Safety Minister Ralph Goodale, citing operational security, refused to provide details today on the status of a Canadian former ISIS fighter who has confessed to an execution-style killing in Syria and is now home living in Toronto.

Abu Huzaifa said he told himself it was justified — that "you can do it and you won't be held accountable.

CBC Radio is now reporting that Abu has retracted his statements about murder and torture... and now claims he was suffering from PTSD when he said those things.

But, why worry, folks? I mean, what could possibly happen?

**********

RELATED: What's the opposite of confession?

TORONTO -- Crown attorney Liz Jackson noted there are six months between April and November. “And somehow your fingerprint managed to stay on that door, for that length of time, despite the door being cleaned daily with Windex and paper towels.”

I guess you can fool...

...some American presidents, some of the time... unlike, say... Israel...

In the words of Israel’s defense minister, Avigdor Lieberman, “If there is rain on our side, there will be a flood on their side.”

Don't be black, don't be black...

...don't be black... gawddammit...

Homicide detectives are investigating the death of a man found with gunshot wounds at the scene of a crash in Etobicoke on Monday. When paramedics arrived on scene, police said they discovered that the driver had injuries “more consistent with gunshot wounds than a collision."

38-year-old Christopher Reid, of Toronto, was rushed to a trauma centre without vital signs and later died in hospital.

Sadly, Black Lives Matter Toronto, was, yet again... unavailable for comment.

Yeah, sorry... not prejudice at all.

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RELATED: Toronto's cutting edge

A 23-year-old Toronto man, Birhan Imam, has been arrested and charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault and carrying a concealed weapon in relation to the stabbing of a 22-year-old man in North York’s Willowdale area earlier this week.

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RELATED2: Shooting at the chicken joint

A man in his 20s was rushed to a trauma centre in serious condition after a shooting in a KFC parking lot in the city’s Mount Dennis neighbourhood early Saturday morning.

It happened at around 2:30 a.m. outside a KFC near Bartonville Avenue and Weston Road.

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RELATED3:

VAUGHAN — Police say one man is dead and another man is in custody after a shooting in Vaughan. The victim, who has not been identified, was pronounced dead at the scene.

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LAST WORD: Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

Critical Socio-Medical breakthrough...

...in study of sexually transmitted diseases...As always, the real gold is in the comments...

"How could that not be a crime? Is stabbing you with a dirty needle different from stabbing you with a dirty dick?"

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RELATED: The Lardass Chronicles

Diversity is our Streng...

...sweet baby jebus...

TORONTO -- “Calvin Nimoh stabbed university professor and cancer researcher Dr. Mark Ernsting a total of nine times, four times in the back and five times in the head, face and neck. The lethal injury was a stab wound so forceful it broke the blade from the knife handle.”

Nimoh, 23, pleaded guilty to manslaughter, but the prosecution rejected has his plea, contending the Crown will attempt to prove the killing was planned and amounts to first-degree murder.

The Toronto Sun can't seem to find an image of this savage murderer... don't worry, I can fix that.

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RELATED: The invasion continues apace...

More than 50,000 asylum claims were made in 2017, the highest number in our history. Almost half of those claims came from people who crossed illegally from the U.S., most at this one location on Roxham Rd.

So far in 2018, the number of border jumpers has already tripled since last year.

You can thank Prime Minister Dressup for this one.

Addicts... there are no real surprises

First step to recovery... admit you have a problem...

Or, I suppose, you could set up a "safe ingestion" site.

Funny how "social justice"...

...inevitably includes some sort of violent mutilation...

“We will never give up to fighting for our rights and fighting to end this racist country that this ‘president’ has created!”

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RELATED: Ground Zero for SJWs... Santa Monica

I blame Donald Trump... ...he hates libraries, right?

"Basically a homeless shelter with books," said one library user. "It's hard to concentrate because there's always someone snoring loudly with their filthy feet up on the furniture."

Another person mentioned seeing a homeless woman drying her panties in the ladies room with its hand-dryer.

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MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH:

Heads will roll at CBC as Commissars fail to catch reference to ethnicity in article...

"Emergency services were called to a housing complex on Pelham Park Gardens near Davenport and Old Weston roads just after 11 p.m. where they found a woman in her 20s with gunshot wounds.

No arrests have been made, but Toronto police say that two males were seen fleeing the area, describing them as black and wearing dark clothing."

Only really rich, pretty people...

...should be allowed to have guns...Or maybe... this guy...**********

RELATED: Ask a "Professional" Journalist

The Wild, Wild East

In any event, the wave of shootings over the past weekend, viewed alongside statistics showing gun crime in London rose by an astonishing 42 per cent from 2015/16 to 2016/17, would appear to suggest that limiting legal access to firearms for ordinary citizens does not deter criminals from using them.

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RELATED: Mayor Sadiq Khan's Londonistan

The sister of a teenager who was ambushed in a suspected acid attack today called for an end to street violence, asking: “When is this all going to stop?”

Dear Cultural Relativists

"Are you complaining about that? Sorry, I couldn't hear you. I was scratching my butt with your face."

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RELATED: Nigeria about to shed reputation...

...for fraud & thievery... and go bigtime...

MAIDGURI, Nigeria — Armed bandits attacked a village in Nigeria’s northwest Kaduna state, killing at least 40 people, residents and officials said.

In a statement, the local government said it is concerned by the incessant banditry attacks in the region.

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LAST WORD: More self-inflicted injuries

Diversity is our Streng...

...sweet baby jebus...

PATNA, India -- District Magistrate Jitendera Singh said the suspects beat up the 16 year old girl's family members for complaining against them and burned her to death after finding her at home alone on Friday.

While the government has passed a series of laws increasing punishment for rape of an adult to 20 years in prison, it's rare for more than a few weeks to pass without another brutal sexual assault being reported.

Proud Home of the...

...Obama Presidential Library... and strict gun control...

CHICAGO — At least 74 people have been shot in the nation’s third-largest city since Monday. 28 people were shot between Friday evening and early Sunday, according to police.

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RELATED: Murder... by the numbers

The murder rate in Baltimore is 27.3 per 100,000.

The murder rate in New Orleans is 24.5 per 100,000.

The murder rate in Detroit is 20.2 per 100,000.

The murder rate in Salt Lake City is 1.0 per 100,000 residents.

Well, shoot... that probably just means the peace-loving citizens of Utah abhor firearm... wait a minute...

Utah has the second highest numbers on the FBI’s National Instant Criminal Background Check System behind Kentucky at 46,898 checks per 100,000 residents.

nb - those homicide statistics are courtesy of commie-pinko CBS News

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MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH:

A man is dead after a stabbing early Sunday on the corner of Queen Street East and Blantyre Avenue, in Toronto's Beach neighbourhood around 3 a.m.

I blame the "National Cutlery Association."