I'm so old, I remember when...

...Justin Trudeau super-double promised to do away with "first past the post" elections in Canada...

“I’ve worked so hard in my career, that I promise you, if I’m elected president you’re gonna see the single most important thing that changes America, we’re gonna cure cancer,” Biden told a crowd in Ottumwa, Iowa on Tuesday.

Apparently, Uncle Joe is a cutting-edge oncologist trapped in a lecherous old bagman's body.

Two words, my friends...

...disposable... diapers... never gonna happen...Better living through chemistry. Sometimes there's just no going back.

Go on gentlemen... ask your wives.

Drugs... the victimless crime

The Ontario Cannabis Store (OCS) has put out a call for new product categories, including edibles, beverages, topicals and extracts.

What could possibly go wro... sweet baby jebus...

Eight students at a high school in Virginia became sick Tuesday after eating candy laced with an "unknown substance," according to officials and local media reports.

Just don't shove it up my arse...

...a nickel at a time...

"Sure, an awful lot of bad movies have managed to overcome their badness and terrible reviews to still score at the box office. Sometimes the spectacle is enough. But there was no goodwill for Dark Phoenix.

Stars Jennifer Lawrence, Jessica Chastain, and someone named Sophie Turner, have gone out of their way to alienate audiences with mean-spirited and divisive political posturing."

"Who wants to see a movie that feels like homework?"

Well, well, well... if it isn't the...

...consequences of my own actions...

IF perp = white male

THEN establish MSM ‘white supremacist’ narrative

ELSE Ignore

IF narrative refuted

THEN cry racism

Time to throw another politician...

...on the barbie, mate...

In reality, New Zealand is quite heavily armed per capita, with an estimated 1.2-1.5 million guns in a country of approximately 4.7 million people. Two months ago, Reuters breathlessly reported, “New Zealand police expect tens of thousands of firearms to be surrendered by a guns buy-back scheme.”

Only 530 guns have thus far been turned in to the authorities.

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RELATED: The Left Coast......it ain't all fairy dust & unicorn farts...

California ammunition providers are seeing a spike in sales ahead of a new state law that will clamp down on individuals trying to buy ammo.

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LAST WORD: As usual, the real gold is...

...in the comments...

"I once inquired at Costco as to why the huge plastic clam shell packaging and the answer was simple. Shoplifting was the reason."

"So, Trudeau should ban shoplifting."

Diversity is our streng...

...sweet baby jebus...

BRAMPTON - The victim testified that some friends who also attended the Hindu Sabha temple told her they had been approached by others at the institution who asked if she would take money to drop the charges.

At a temple with a history of dispute among its leaders, others asked if she would accept money to proceed with the case, the decision said.

Sounds more like a crooked-ass casino than a place of worship.

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RELATED: Hindu, Hindu......that sounds so familiar...

"There's lots of art that I don't like," he wrote. "I don't go around gathering signatures of people who agree with me, and try to force the art to come down."

"That would be truly offensive, especially in a democracy like Canada."

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LAST WORD: Is Canada a shithole country?

THERE'S A REASON IT'S CALLED 'THE THIRD WORLD'

According to crime statistics from the Jamaica Constabulary Force, shootings in Montego Bay and its surrounding communities are up 32 percent over last year, and murders 45 percent. Robberies and home invasions are out of control. They’ve gone up 213 percent and 106 percent respectively over last year.

About 40 percent of the population in the Caribbean believes crime and security-related issues are the main problems facing their countries, even more so than poverty, the economy or inequality.

Another vacation spot struck off the list... sigh.

RELATED:   Of course, these days, nowhere is really safe...

Markland Anthony Campbell, also known as Jahiant Janh, was shot around 9 p.m. as basketball fans crowded into Byward Market bars to watch the Toronto Raptors game.

Smell the "professional" journalism...

“Markland was maliciously gunned down defending the principle of righteousness he lived by.”

Which, apparently, precluded calling 911. The myth of the "bulletproof rapper"... debunked yet again.

LAST WORD:   The Usual Gangbangers

Kyle Sparks MacKinnon, a man with a long history of violence, has been sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole for 22 years for the murders of Quinn Taylor and David Eminess, to be served concurrently.

Murder is their business...

...and business is good...

"Islamists and jihadi groups like the Taliban and ISIS perceive Ramadan as a time when martyrdom and jihad are exceptionally rewarded in paradise, prompting a spike in the terrorist attacks during the period every year."

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RELATED: What could possibly go wrong?

Time to ban the Toronto Raptors

Remember... "if it only saves one life"...

A man was stabbed to death in the heart of the city early Saturday as Raptors fans filled the streets celebrating the team’s big Game 4 win of the NBA Finals.

The deadly stabbing occurred at Yonge and Charles Sts., south of Bloor St., around 12:15 a.m. There have been no arrests and no suspect description has been released in the city’s 27th murder of the year.

It's not the first Raptor-related incident involving extreme mayhem.

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UPDATE: Victim id'd as James Andrew Smith, 52, of Toronto.

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IN OTHER HOGTOWN HOMICIDE NEWS:

Hassan Gutale Ali, 52, of Toronto, who was found dead in a transitional housing complex at 145 Queen E. at Jarvis Street on Thursday is the victim of a homicide, Toronto police said Saturday.

Toronto’s 26th homicide of the year.

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RIDE THAT FREAKIN' ROCKET:

"Two people were rushed to hospital, after a shooting on a TTC bus in Etobicoke early Saturday morning. One of those victims has life-threatening injuries while the other is listed in serious but stable condition."

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LAST WORD: The "Plastic Cutlery Ordinances" of 2019

"TPA President Mike McCormack said 283 officers retired or left the service in 2018 and another 133 have been lost this year. That means there are 416 fewer officers than there were at the start of last year."

LET THEM EAT BANKRUPTCY!

But sometimes they get their "just desserts"...

The Jury in the Gibson’s Bakery v. Oberlin College case has reached a verdict.

The verdict sends a strong message that colleges and universities cannot simply wind up and set loose student social justice warriors and then wash their hands of the consequences.

According to our reporter in the Courtroom, the jury awarded $11 million. Next Tuesday there will be a separate punitive damages which could be a double award (meaning tripling the $11 million to $33 million).

Scott Wargo, spokesman for Oberlin College, provided the following comment in response to my inquiry: “The College does not have a comment.”

Or, in a little while, a pot to piss in either.

QUESTION: Would she have been shot...

...if she was wearing a hijab?How did Officer Noor not assume she was the victim of the "woman being assaulted" call he had been dispatched to?

What made Justine Damond such a threat?

"When an unarmed Justine Ruszczyk Damond — dressed in a pink T-shirt with koalas on it, pyjama pants, carrying a glittery gold iPhone — walked barefoot towards the patrol car to meet police, Mohamed Noor shot her in the abdomen at point blank range."

Note that Noor refused to talk to Police investigators about what happened that night and only apologised to the family AFTER he was found guilty.

Lawyers for Noor, who was fired after being charged in the case and has never talked to investigators about what happened, argue that he used reasonable force to defend himself and his partner from a perceived threat.

An ill-conceived strategy that earned Mr Noor a 12 year vacation at the Gray Bar Motel. Maybe he should've stayed in the old country and been a pirate.

And then there's this...

Protesters from the Somali-American community held placards, calling the ruling unjust and labelling the case “identity politics”. Mohamed Noor’s brother Abass Noor has also slammed the “racist and inequitable” US justice system.

Remind me, please, once again, about the "warlord certified" justice system in sunny, pastoral Somalia.

The "Basic Dictatorship"...

...will balance itself...

On Wednesday evening, the full Senate refused to kill Bill C-48, the so-called Tanker Moratorium, by a whopping margin of 53-38.

A Senate committee, after months of hearings, testimony and submissions, had recommended that the bill be abandoned.

But now the Senate itself rejects the decision of its own committee.

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RELATED: Pierre-lite accuses Canadians of genocide...

On Wednesday, one day after the Canadian Prime Minister said Canada had committed genocide against thousands of Indigenous women and girls, the Organization of American States announced it expected Canada to cooperate with its investigation.

When truth is stranger than satire

The reliable satire-meisters over at The Babylon Bee have been rather sharp of late in their measurement of these events.

One problem — they may put themselves out of work by not being satirical enough and too close to the truth.

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RELATED: The next logical step...

"Don't call me Ricky Gervais again. From now on, you call me Bobo. I'm gonna have species realignment."

Your money... their friends

"Balls-Deep" Bains curiously quiet on intimate relationship with Irving Shipbuilding...

Minister of Innovation, Science and Economic Development Navdeep Singh Bains and his department silent on how many times they’ve alerted the Irvings about journalists.

I sent questions to Bains’ office and to the Innovation department about their policy. Here are some of the questions that weren’t answered:

• How many times since the fall of 2015 has the department shared information with Irving about journalists?
• How many times since the fall of 2015 has the department shared information with other defence and aerospace firms about journalists?
•Who in the department or Mr. Bain’s office contacted the Irvings?
•Does the Privacy Act apply to your department and if so do you consider providing information about journalists a violation of that law?
•Who in Mr. Bain’s office or the department co-ordinated with the Irvings on the proposed lawsuit against the Globe and Mail?
•Do you intend to share this Postmedia information/my personal information with the Irvings?

Navdeep Bains, Navdeep Bains... I've heard that name before.

#IncreaseMyFeminismToo

And George Orwell chortled...The "basic dictatorship" will balance itself, I guess...

“It increases my feminism. It continues to challenge and make us think differently about it,” said Justin Trudeau.

Just another story you won't see on the CBC.

Too many Per Diems...

...not enough honesty...

In its interim report, released in November 2017, the inquiry said its forensic review team would “put select police files on missing and murdered women and girls under a clinical microscope.”

The final report shows those requests were only sent out to 28 police forces across Canada between Sept. 20 and Dec. 31, when the inquiry’s authority to subpoena documents ended.

Partly as a result of the time crunch, the report says, the inquiry had obtained only 174 of the 479 police files it requested by April 2019.

Asked about the delay after the closing ceremony on Monday, Chief Commissioner Marion Buller said the timing was “not late.”

Of course, the Commission was too busy to report any of the countervailing minutiae...

"The overview reveals a virtually identical homicide solving rate for Aboriginal women (88%) and non-Aboriginal women (89%). The study reveals that the rate of stranger perpetrated homicide against Aboriginal women is 8%, virtually the same as for non-Aboriginal women (7%).

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RELATED: So many racists, so little time...

"Yeah, my salary isn't as much as someone else's... I mean some racist crackers tried to lynch me."

Lena DumDum

Of course... she's come a long way baby.

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RELATED: The Longest Day

Lord Lovat had asked his personal piper, Bill Millin, to pipe his men ashore. Private Millin pointed out that this would be in breach of War Office regulations.

"That's the English War Office, Bill," said Lovat.

"We're Scotsmen."

"Grounded, Mom?"

"I don't think so..."

A depressed seventeen year old Netherlands girl was legally euthanized last Sunday with the help of an end of life clinic. In the Netherlands, children as young as twelve can opt for euthanasia if a doctor determines that their pain is “unbearable.”

Not to put too fine a point on it... there's a reason we don't let minors drink, smoke or vote.

Hang on a second, Doc...

...the police aren't even allowed to stop and ask these guys for their ID any more...

Toronto should “end this senseless, iterative pattern of hate, vengeance and homicide of strong young black men by other strong, young black men,” said Dr. Patrick Antoine, former Grenadian ambassador to the World Trade Organization and mentor to homicide victim Jarryl “BJ” Hagley.

One... Toronto, as a geographic location, has nothing to do with this senseless slaughter and two... you're confusing strength with thuggish brutality.

This is culture, pure & simple.

"The commission says black people make up only 8.8 per cent of Toronto’s population, but were involved in 70 per cent of fatal police shootings between Jan. 1, 2013 and June 30, 2017."

Apparently, they've skipped over the number of non-police shootings for some reason.

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RIGHT ON CUE:

Officers arrived at Queen Street West and Spadina Avenue around 3 a.m. and found bullet holes in a building and multiple shell casings at the scene. Police said the victim showed up, on his own at St. Joseph’s Hospital with serious injuries and was later transferred to St. Michael’s Hospital downtown.