halls of macadamia: 2010

31 December 2010

Remember back when you were a kid...

...every New Year they used to pull out the ol' Geiger counters?

-- Yeah... me neither. --

In other Islamophobia news... wait a minute...

A bomb killed at least 21 people outside a church in the Egyptian city of Alexandria early on New Year’s Day and the Interior Ministry said a foreign-backed suicide bomber may have been responsible.

A statement on an Islamist website posted about two weeks before the blast called for attacks on Egypt’s churches, listing among them the one hit.

And...

-- NIGERIA -- The explosion occurred at Mami market, a busy area where people congregate to socialise on the edge of the Sani Abacha army barracks but not in its militarised area.

Boko Haram, a radical sect which wants Islamic law throughout Nigeria, said it was behind the bombings in Jos on Dec. 24, which also wounded more than 100.

Fashion Crime

"This is not the first time he has hit a bank in Ottawa," Larouche said. "There is no way of saying for sure, but sometimes descriptions given by witnesses bear some similarity and a hijab is sort of out of the ordinary."

What people really mean when they say...

..."You can't fight City Hall."

That hint of an answer is found in what happens when intransigent bureaucracy (the federal Indian and Northern Affairs Canada, or INAC) meets stubborn and hypersensitive first nation, in this instance the Pikangikum band.

And what happens, as Ontario Superior Court Judge John dePencier Wright found, is … nothing.

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RELATED: I'm from the government...

...I'm here to save you...

The professional standards investigation found the employee, whose name it would not disclose, had spent 176 hours — about four and a half work weeks — on the Internet over a three-month period. A search of his CBSA e-mail account found he had used it to send and receive explicit descriptions and photos, including pictures of genitalia and sex acts.

“He exchanges e-mails with interested parties and gives detailed descriptions of himself, including his sexual organs,” the investigation report says.

CBSA officials are responsible for stopping obscene materials from entering the country. The agency often highlights its involvement in intercepting child pornography brought across the border.

Vote Liberal... I dare you

I'm with Mark the Mouth... I say we give each & every prisoner in federal lockup as much heroin as they want... every freakin' day of the week...

“We didn’t get into specifics,” said Liberal public safety critic Mark Holland when asked if his party would support needle exchanges or safe injection sites in prisons. “We’re simply saying to the government they have to do more.”

Heck, let's thrown in a Sunday special... say, amphetamines, tequila & hookers... just to break up the monotony.

Yup... there's a problem that's gonna cure itself doubletime

(h/t reader robert)

30 December 2010

I'm just waiting for grisly photographs...

...of firefighters cutting mangled bodies out of cars to appear at pedestrian crossings... or on cases of beer. How about we start putting pictures of horribly burned people on the side of woodstoves?

Do they have dioramas of smelly, emaciated junkies at safe-injection sites? I mean, seriously... what kind of moron doesn't know that injecting/ingesting liberal doses of chemical poisons isn't good for you?

More to the point... isn't this type of self-destructive behaviour just nature's way of thinning out the herd? Why is it the taxpayer's responsibility to shell out billions of dollars annually to remediate this type of self-involved, self-inflicted immolation?

Oh, that's right... there's no such thing as personal responsibility anymore. It's all... "save me, oh wonderful government."

The larger question here, though... has to be... "Why would a truly Conservative government... a government that ostensibly respects the intelligence of the people... buy into this condescending propaganda shithole?"

And don't give me your sanctimonious "save the children" yip-yap. If your kid is an alcoholic, junkie, promiscuous, gang-bangin' fuckup... it isn't because the government let them down... it's because you failed as a parent.

If you're not prepared to put in the time and do the job properly... don't have children. It's that simple.

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RELATED: Something to think about...

...the next time you're stuck waiting in the local hospital emergency room for seven hours...

When the nurse asks him why he's using, he mumbles: “Experimentation, I suppose.” She doesn't ask if he's injected drugs before. She simply mixes up the stuff, ties off his unmarked arm and shows him how to find a good vein.

On a personal note... I bet Dalton McGuinty doesn't have to wait months to see a urologist.

Apparently... Barry knows better

-- WASHINGTON -- US President Barack Obama has bypassed the US Senate and directly appointed four new ambassadors, including Robert Ford, who will become the first US envoy to Syria since 2005.

In the most high-profile case, that of the new envoy to Syria, a number of senators objected because they believed sending an ambassador to the country would reward it for bad behavior.

The administration had argued that returning an ambassador to Syria after a five-year absence would help persuade Syria to change its policies regarding Israel, Lebanon and Iraq as well as its willingness to support extremist groups.

Of course... you mention Syria, the first words that come to anyone's mind are reasonable & accomodating.

Syria is designated a "state sponsor of terrorism" by the State Department.

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RELATED: Let's do the "Neutron Dance"

Here's the biggest legacy of the McDreamy administration... "live & don't learn."

Or...

...we could simply legislate 50% of the existing male directors into having sex-change operations...

A Liberal senator wants to use the power of Parliament to force women into the boardrooms of the nation.

The bill would require all publicly traded companies, banks, insurance companies and trust companies to have 50% of their board of directors made up of women.

Yup... let's just wave that magical left-bot wand... and smooth over all of life's inequities...

"It's not fair that university degrees only be awarded to the academically gifted. They should be equally distributed amongst all the various protected categories of citizens."

"To reward those with aptitude and diligence at the expense of those lacking such attributes is a clear violation of our rights."

Uh-huh.

29 December 2010

Here's the thing, Dalton...

Running a couple million dollars worth of healthcare commercials... isn't the same thing as actually providing healthcare. It's not what you say... it's what you do that counts.

Actually, let me be a little more specific than that. Today I took Mrs. Neo into Belleville so we could get the paperwork to apply for a SIN number for the boy. No big deal, right?

Wrong.

Now, how this works, in Belleville anyway... is that you take a number and go sit and wait to be called to the desk. Unfortunately, as is standard government practice, there are never enough front line clerks... so Mrs. N had a 30 minute wait... to pick up a piece of paper. I don't know why we were so naive, the dozens of poor sods sitting in the waiting area should have been a tip-off.

It gets better. Even though this place is called Service Ontario... they apparently are unable to actually provide the applications for something as esoteric as Social Insurance numbers.

When Mrs. N was impertinent enough to point out that the Service Ontario pamphlet she had taken from a nearby table and had been reading to pass the time said otherwise... well, that was just an unfortunate mistake.

So, even though the Liberals made a screamin' big deal about recently centralising all the government services in one location in downtown Belleville... there is apparently some other location that handles SIN numbers. Once again... they lied right to our faces.

As far as I'm concerned, they should actually call this place Disservice Ontario.

Sorry folks... just another reason... friends don't let friends vote Liberal.

**********

THE COMPASSIONATE, INTELLECTUAL LEFT REPLIES:

"Asswipe. Fuck off with your torys are better, you're an idiot to fall for their bullshit."
Posted by Anonymous to halls of macadamia at 10:56 PM, December 29, 2010

Ah, yes... the much admired "you're a big poopyhead" defense.

What sort of deluded madmen...

...consider mass murder an appropriate response... to a cartoon?

-- Copenhagen -- During the arrests, Danish police found an assault rifle and silencer, ammunition, as well as plastic strips, which are often used by police as hand restraints.

All four suspects have Middle-Eastern or North African backgrounds.

Of course, to be fair... a lot of these folks come from unsophisticated medieval theocracies... wait a minute...

A survey of 600 Muslim students at 30 universities throughout Britain found that 32 per cent of Muslim respondents believed killing in the name of religion is justified.

A little something to think about...

...while you're enjoying that really cheap third world vacation...

Some ten unidentified gunmen on Thursday set Erika Gandara's home ablaze and torched two cars parked outside before abducting her, witnesses told the state of Chihuahua prosecutor's office.

Gandara was the last police officer in Guadalupe, located on the US-Mexico border some 60 kilometres south-east of Ciudad Juarez, after her colleagues either resigned and fled or were killed.

The town, population 9000, is in an area frequently used by traffickers to smuggle drugs into the United States.

Not your problem, right? You just want a little inexpensive downtime.

Nationwide, more than 28,000 people have been killed in drug gang violence since December 2006, when President Felipe Calderon deployed soldiers to battle the cartels in their strongholds in northern Mexico and along the Pacific coast.

Shame on you.

Somebody remind me...

...why exactly is it, we're all constantly sucking up to Quebec?

-- MONTREAL -- Attachment to Canada has waned dramatically among young Quebecers: only 18 per cent of those age 18-24 report strong feelings of attachment to the country — a cause for concern for the future of national unity, Jedwab said.

Seniors are the only age group where attachment to Canada is strong, with 49 per cent of those 65 and over describing themselves as strongly attached to the country.

Perhaps Quebec would do well to refocus a little of that "f@ck the anglos" anger...

Media reports have exposed allegations of bribery in some municipal administrations and corruption surrounding the awarding of government contracts in the construction industry.

It has been alleged that construction and engineering firms have funnelled thousands of dollars to the governing Liberals using false names.

28 December 2010

More Criminal Masterminds

"A Florida woman has given new meaning to the term 'internal medicine'."

I'm sorry... a freak accident is when...

...a 747 drops out of the sky and flattens your entire family... and as tragic as this incident is... it was, unfortunately... entirely preventable, and more to the point, entirely predictable...

In fact... just last month, the very same thing happened to a man entering an underground parking garage in downtown Toronto. The simple fact is, you never, never, ever... lean out of the door of your car while the transmission is engaged. The risk of falling out of the vehicle... or, as in these two very recent cases, being crushed in the door opening is a very clear & present danger.

Perhaps the media, instead of trying to portray this thing as an "Act of God"... might alert people to the actual issue here. Whatever happened to... "if it saves just one life?"

Oh right... that wouldn't sell papers, would it?

I'm from the Globe & Mail...

...I'm here to save you...

What's life without a dream, huh?

As comedian Chris Rock once famously said...

"You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-havin' motherf@cker!"

-- "Plenty of people got beat up, shot and stabbed in 2010 but there were no killings. The last year that was murder-free was 1963." --

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RELATED: The wild, wild west

Remember, you were a kid... people used to steal cars at gunpoint?

Yeah... me neither...

Mounties in Richmond, B.C are warning the public to be vigilant after a series of recent armed carjackings in parking lots.

27 December 2010

Brits dodge Christmas bullet

Coming soon to a big city near you...

-- LONDON -- A covert surveillance operation was carried out by police and MI5 which involved following suspects and recording conversations, the court heard.

Prosecutor Piers Arnold said Trafalgar Square was visited and then Westminster, where a mobile phone was allegedly held up and pointed at Big Ben.

Surveillance teams then followed their quarries to the South Bank and the London Eye giant ferris wheel, which was being ‘observed intently’.

In fifty years...

...we'll all be chicks.

**********

RELATED: Thank you comment moderation

"Scratch a shrieking right whinger and find a douchebag praying for the big one so he can say 'I TOLD YOU SO'."
Posted by Moo Moo to halls of macadamia at 8:14 PM, December 27, 2010

Grow a pair and blog under your real name Nancy.
Posted by Johnny Boy to halls of macadamia at 8:16 PM, December 27, 2010

Of course, Nonny... you irony-deprived dumbass. Apparently I've rented a large permanent space smack between your ears.

And that "nancy-boy" thing? That's your best shot? Seriously?

Anyway, Nonny... I'm afraid compassionate, intellectual Zorpheus already beat you to the punch. Funny how all you so-called liberals think calling somebody a fag is the absolute worst insult imaginable.

I'll spare everyone the other dozen nonsensical taunts (these two were the pick of the litter) my biggest fan posted in the space of five minutes.

I'm thinkin', maybe there's a good reason...

...Canada has that stringent protocol for foreign trained medical doctors...

Officials in Brazil have now launched an investigation into how medical chiefs failed to realise the woman was alive and not dead when they sent her body for burial.

[...]

You can say it with flowers...

...or, hey... wait a minute...

The 7-foot-tall statue of 1st Lt. Neil Bucken holding an actual red rose arrived late Wednesday at his relatives' Staten Island home, a day before his 11-year-old sister's birthday, and in the nick of time for Christmas.

"Half the family was all bawling their eyes out," said his mom, Donna McBrien.

26 December 2010

Stand by for breaking news...

...on gravity holding shit down...

-- MONTREAL -- Preteens dabbling in vandalism, bullying and truancy are more likely to be in trouble with the law as teenagers, according to a new study by Montreal researchers.

The more troubled kids – the ones who regularly stole, destroyed property, bullied other kids and got into fights – were found to be six times more likely to sell drugs, eight times more likely to be arrested, nine times more likely to join a gang and 11 times more likely to carry a weapon as teenagers than their peers.

Hmmm... if only we were able to identify that particular troubling demographic and target it with all our resources.

The youngest killed by bullets in 2010 were Sealand White and Devonte Gondwe-Prosper — both 15.

Oh, right... I forgot.

We're not even allowed to talk about this stuff.

**********

RELATED: C'mon... spit it out

"Congratulations Ms. Chi, as the leading Oriental and homosexual candidate we are pleased to offer you employment..."

(via sda)

When you absolutely, positively have to...

...say some damn thing or another...

When he was asked Sunday if he is willing to bring down the Harper government if the budget does not reflect Liberal priorities, he replied: “Of course, yes.”

But Mr. Ignatieff held open the possibility that he might also support the Conservative financial plan.

Way'ta audible, Peyton.

Bright lights, big city...

...Merry Christmas to you...

A Christmas killing at a west-end highrise brings the city’s murder count to an even 60 for the year.

Gunshots rang out shortly before 4 p.m. Saturday at 200 Woolner Ave., off Jane St. a block north of St. Clair Ave. W.

**********

RELATED: Paging Inspector Clouseau

-- TORONTO -- More than 100 firefighters were needed early Monday to tame a five-alarm blaze at a west end house that had been targeted in a drive-by shooting and a Molotov cocktail attack earlier this month.

The flames broke out around 10pm Sunday night at 489 Winona Dr., near Vaughan Road and Oakwood Avenue.

25 December 2010

Peace on Earth...

...goodwill towards... wait a minute...

Meanwhile... in other Christmas news... the professional journalists at the Globe & Mail are confronted with yet another mystery.

Here's a hint, fellas... I'm guessin' it wasn't Colonel Mustard in the library.

It's been a quiet week here at the Halls

This is, I believe... the first time in four years that I've taken a week away from the keyboard... and it has, apparently, done me no lasting harm. You can get too used to screaming into the whirlwind, I think.

Anyway... the stockings are hung and we await the hopefully not-too-early appearance of The Boy. It seems like just yesterday we were rocking his world with toy trains or a tricycle... but these days he leans heavily towards consumer electronics.

So... to all of you who sometimes stop by to share a moment... Merry Christmas... and all the best to you and yours.

**********

BOXING DAY UPDATE:

Because Neophyte continues to be both a civilised human being and a solid A-B student... he & I got up at 05:00 today... ran down into Belleville and iced his Christmas cake with an Ipod Touch.

Time for ol' Dad to head back to bed.

19 December 2010

Never a Taser around...

...when you really need one.

Another Canadian falls

Cpl. Steve Martin, 24, from 3rd Battalion Royal 22e Regiment, was killed by an improvised explosive device, or IED, while on foot patrol early Saturday afternoon, local time.

The bombing that killed Cpl. Martin preceded a suicide attack Saturday on the vehicle of an Afghan district chief in the Canadian area of operations.

The attack on District Governor Hamdullah Nazik happened when a car packed with explosives tried to ram his vehicle as he drove home. The bomber missed and plowed into bystanders killing two people, including a child, and wounding 11 others.

18 December 2010

That ignorant, homicidal George W...

...wait a minute...

Nearly 60 people have been killed in a series of attacks by US drones in the past 24 hours in Pakistan's Khyber tribal district, officials say.

At least 50 died in three unmanned air strikes in the Tirah Valley, a day after seven others were killed nearby.

**********

FROM THE BREITBART COMMENTS:

"I'm still sitting in front of the TV waiting for CSPAN to broadcast the health care debate. Anyone know what time it will start?"

Write your own headline

-- OTTAWA -- Daniel Maxheleau, the paranoid schizophrenic who stabbed his parents and sister to death five years ago, wants to keep information about his latest transgressions secret.

The 35-year-old was supposed to appear before the review board Friday for a "restriction of liberty" hearing to determine whether he is fit to be living on his own.

But Maxheleau was so anxious about appearing before the board and members of the press, he refused to appear, instead opting to sit in the double-locked psychiatric unit where he's lived since Nov. 3.

Anxiety, huh? That's what we're calling it now? What does that mean exactly?

Police returned him to the Royal Ottawa Hospital after he was spotted walking naked and screaming in the street near his Findlay Creek home in Ottawa's south end.

Wait, wait... gimme a second here.

Never mind the naked psychotic rage thing... this guy slaughtered his entire family and he's out on the street in less than five years?

Seriously?

Two words, Mikey... blue...crush...

And, seriously... "ride the wave"?!?

You seem to be forgetting that you're herding the sharks that created it...

“I don’t think it was an anti-government vote. It’s a vote that says, give me what I paid for,” Ignatieff said during the interview in Stornoway, his official Ottawa residence.

Uh-huh... you mean like that ADSCAM thing?

You go with that.

I dare you.

17 December 2010

Hey, Quebec... if you do ever separate...

...would you mind taking British Columbia with you?

-- "A University of Victoria study recommends hiking alcohol prices in the province, while giving homeless people controlled access to free booze." --

**********

SIDENOTE: Ever bought heroin?

Sure you have... if you're a Canadian taxpayer.

Three Vancouver heroin addicts have started getting their fix for free -- as the first participants in a government-sponsored study on the effects of controlling junkies' supply.

As participants in the new North American Opiate Medication Initiative, the three got their first taxpayer-funded fix on Monday.

I guess it's true... information just yearns...

...to be free...

Julian Assange has his own embarrassing e-mails. The lovesick WikiLeaks founder sent a 19-year-old girl a series of gross-out messages for 10 days until he finally heeded her pleas to go away.

"You pulled a tiny petal off my world just when I thought you were to add one but all around is the meadow, where I shall again dance and skip and sing till some fool girl should brush my wing. Julian."

C'mon, you knew it was only a...

...matter of time...

**********

BREAKING: It's beginning to look a...

...lot like Christmas...

Ontario's highest court has come down hard on convicted terrorists, dramatically hiking prison sentences for the first Canadians convicted of violent jihadist activities.

Iggy Pops

There it is... a ruler in one hand... the other on his zipper...

"Barring a total climb-down by Prime Minister Stephen Harper on all of his major priorities, the Liberal Party will oppose the Conservative government’s budget." --

There you have it... no wiggle room here... the Puffin King demands "a total climb-down" on, well... everything.

Let's get this show on the road.

**********

THE COMPASSIONATE, INTELLECTUAL LEFT RESPONDS:

"Thanks to Julian Fantino, we can all show up at CPC rallies and say "Heil Harper". Hahahahahahahaha!"
Posted by liberal supporter to halls of macadamia at 7:44 PM, December 17, 2010

Karma... she's a pitiless bitch

Yessirree, I do love a good... "If only I had a magical time machine" story...

-- OTTAWA -- A former Ottawa gang member, deported to Somalia last week, says he would rather be serving a life sentence in a Canadian prison than suffering the trauma of his return.

Geez, Ahmed... maybe that's something you should have considered before going down that glittery, violent, drug-dealing narcissist career path?

16 December 2010

How government really works

Just something to think about... the next time you're wading through your income tax forms...

-- (CNSNews.com) -- Sen. Jeff Session (R.-Ala.) told CNSNews.com on Wednesday that there is “no way” someone could master the full 1,924-page, $1.1 trillion omnibus spending bill before Congress votes on it later this week.

“There’s no way you can really thoroughly master that bill in two or three days time, to tell you the truth.”

Other senators said they were working through the bill with their staff, and one remarked he would be “lucky” if he was able to read all of it.

Is Canada really that much better?

Just think 2 billion taxpayer dollars... to construct a database of farmers, duck hunters & skeet shooters.

And then, try to imagine all the other items that never make the front page.

**********

UPDATE: The pot starts to boil

-- WASHINGTON (AP) -- Democrats controlling the Senate have abandoned a 1,924-page catchall spending measure that's laced with homestate pet projects known as earmarks and that would have provided another $158 billion for military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan.

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FROM THE COMMENTS:

I thought "earmark" was how Jean Chretien used to summon Marc Lalonde.

**********

LAST WORD: What, exactly... is an "earmark"?

Less safe injection... more introspection

Apparently... information age be damned... stuff like this still needs to be said...

"If you're stupid, start smoking," he quips. Quintessential Ralph. He laughs. He wheezes.

**********

RELATED: I'm okay with "safe injection" sites...

...as long as they put them on Baffin Island.

If the end-game here in Canada is to eliminate addiction to illegal drugs... how does a "safe injection" site make any sense at all.

Alcoholics Anonymous doesn't hand out cases of beer.

CLICK HERE to do a Google Search on the terms "methadone" & "accidental death". I got 25,100 hits back in 2006.

Each day that passes will increase that number.

Well, whaddaya know...

...a little humanity...

Judge MacPherson deliberately scanned the small courtroom, his eyes seeking out the clutch of people – Stefanie’s parents and stepfather, grandparents, an aunt, her baby brother Ian – in the back row.

“We know there are family members present,” Judge MacPherson said. “You sit here to listen to legal arguments and you have to …[but] we know there’s a personal side of this.

“We are just very sorry you have to relive this again, very sorry something like this has come your way.

Tales of beer, bus trips, bbqs & song

"Backed by a local band, Harper played keyboards and belted out tunes by The Rolling Stones, The Who and The Proclaimers, among others." --

Oh my gawd... he's not gonna... somebody stop him... too late...

"Ignatieff kept his debut as a soloist short and sweet: one chorus of 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' at the opening of his party's annual Christmas bash." --

But he did it en Francais... right?

**********

RELATED: Yeah... I bet he does...

Ignatieff stops short of saying Liberals will attempt to pull the plug on the government over the next budget in February or March.

Brag, brag, brag... mumble.

Bend over & grab your ankles Canada...

...it's gonna be alright... because they say so...

The Senate’s internal economy and budget committee however rebuffed the call for more oversight.

“We still have to submit to a whole bunch of rules we established for ourselves.”

Somebody help me out here.

If we abolished the Canadian Senate... right now, right this minute... how, excepting these $130,000 babies... would it affect any of our lives?

15 December 2010

That heartless, controlling Mike Harr...

...wait a minute...

-- Dec. 15, 2010 -- Finance Minister Dwight Duncan said the austerity measures aimed at eliminating waste and finding savings are necessary to help the province manage through hard times and erase its record $18.7-billion deficit.

Hard times, huh?

-- Oct. 31, 2009 -- Premier Dalton McGuinty is defending an untendered, $81-million contract for an energy centre built to power a casino in Windsor.

Hmmm... whose riding it that, anyway?

Oh Dwight.

Today's "listen to your mom" moment

If Jacko and Iggy really wanted to save lives... maybe they could start a national "Wash Your Filthy Hands" registry...

"We found that they kill nearly 5,000 Ontarians every year, representing about six per cent of all deaths."

Meanwhile, in other startling, "gravity holding shit down" news... unfortunately, no... they're not talking about the human brain...

"Size is extremely important to the effectiveness. The larger the size, the greater the impact. Health Canada has done some excellent research, it's a matter of public record."

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MY PERSONAL OPINION: Thinning the herd

It's a free country, it's not illegal... but if I were supreme dictator and for as long as we have publicly financed healthcare... every smoker in the land would be forced to wear a "Darwin was Right" t-shirt to purchase these things.

And I bet it still wouldn't stop them.

Those darned Christian Crusaders...

...defiling everything in their wake...

The remains of a Turkish diplomat buried in Canada were reportedly forcibly removed from a local cemetery after a prominent Christian family said they weren’t comfortable praying next to a Muslim grave.

Arthur MacDonald, described by the paper as a businessman belonging to “one of Toronto’s leading families,” said he objected to the fact that Mr. Dayioglu had been buried next to his mother and his cousin.

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THE COMPASSIONATE, INTELLECTUAL LEFT REPLIES:

"My Irish Catholic grandmother wouldn't be buried anywhere besides a "Catholics Only" cemetery...right here in Toronto."

Hmmm, there's an equivalence... your grandmother... modern day Turkey.

I think that's my point, you dumb bunny.

Accountability from Canadian institutions...

...who could possibly be against that?

-- OTTAWA -- MPs will investigate the CBC and how the state broadcaster releases -- and sometimes refuses -- to reveal information to the public.

Conservative, Bloc and New Democrat MPs all voted Tuesday in favour of having the Commons access to information committee study the CBC in the New Year.

The CBC eats up a billion plus taxpayer dollars each and every year. Who could possibly be against greater accountability?

Liberal MPs abstained from the vote.

Wake up Canada.

**********

RELATED: Well... who'da thunk?

-- OTTAWA -- CBC is fending off allegations it is violating its own polling rules by using Frank Graves and EKOS Research to perform their political polling.

14 December 2010

It stalled? It broke down? Seriously?

'Cos if we're going with analogies... it kinda looks to me like Iggy & friends poured some sugar in the tank...

"Bill C-23B would take away the ability of someone convicted of three indictable offences to get a pardon, or in the new government terminology, have their record suspended."

Hang on... three indictable offences? Who could possibly object to that?

Of course... Mark the Mouth.

Not that there's anything...

...wrong with that...

King’s quest for a healthier eating option while behind bars ended with a county lawyer forced to research the origin of Festivus and its traditions and a Superior Court judge recognizing the holiday – which lodged its place in pop culture on an episode of Seinfeld – as a legitimate religion.

Hell's bells, that's nothing... how about state-subsidised Festivus... in the nude?

In Praise of Serial Killers

"Abdulwahab, O beloved, I do not know him, yet when I saw his picture I adored him ... Get ready for punishment, woe to the debauched countries, from the curse of Taymour, and the anger of his companions who are brave as tigers."

Hang on, that looks like fun... lemme give it a whirl...

"There was a shaheed from Nantucket..."

**********

UPDATE: More capricious & unknowable...

..."Will of Allah"...

-- TEHRAN -- Two suicide bombers blew themselves up near a mosque in southeastern Iran on Wednesday, killing at least 38 people at a Shiite ceremony, state media reported.

One of the attackers detonated a bomb outside the mosque and the other struck from inside a crowd of worshippers, state TV reported.

Hey... where's my murder poem?

Sauce for the Goose?

Remember the (cough... cough) apparent difficulty the MSM had... finding pictures of Colonel Russell Williams... that didn't include Defense Minister Peter MacKay?

It'll be interesting to see how diligent the CBC & CTV are about exploring this guys political connections...

-- VANCOUVER -- A 42-year-old former political staffer with Vancouver's COPE party has been arrested and charged in connection with three terrifying child rapes over the past 15 years — one involving a six-year-old victim.

Irrelevant, you say?

Hmmm, as I recall... it seemed to be pretty much front and center... when a serial killer was being tenuously linked to the Conservative Party of Canada.

Or how about last weeks nonsensical stories about "once upon a time" Harper advisor Professor Tom Flanagan being a one-man assassination squad?

What the heck is COPE, anyway?

After graduating from UBC Theatre in 2002, Ibata went on a political detour and worked as a personal assistant to lawyer and Vancouver City Councillor Tim Louis, as well as Councillors Ellen Woodsworth, Tim Stevenson, and Dr. Fred Bass.

In 2005, Ibata was hired by the Coalition of Progressive Electors as a political organizer, and helped lead the organization into the November 2005 Civic Election. Ibata also worked on the 2005/2006 Federal election campaign as the Database Manager for the NDP in Vancouver Centre.

Ibata currently runs RhythmNation.ca, a local event production and DJ company, and has now returned to COPE – just in time for the 2008 election!

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THANK YOU COMMENT MODERATION:

"I can now call you a nazi because of your use of Big Lie techniques. Hahahahahahahahaahhaha!"
Posted by liberal supporter to halls of macadamia at 7:02 PM, December 14, 2010

C'mon now, Sven... don't take it personally...

...apparently these guys aren't too fond of Muslims either...

-- BAGHDAD -- A suicide bomber blew up his car Sunday outside government offices in a province west of the Iraqi capital, killing 17 people, including women and elderly people waiting to collect welfare checks, officials said.

At least 23 people also were wounded in Sunday's blast, according to the officials.

**********

UPDATE: Maybe there is a gawd, huh?

The theory of an accidental detonation appeared to have gained some traction with the police.

The two explosions set off by the Stockholm bomber occurred on side streets crossing the pedestrian mall called Drottninggatan, the city’s principal shopping street, and suggested that a catastrophic outcome had been narrowly averted.

Once again... the capricious & unknowable "Will of Allah."

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THANK YOU COMMENT MODERATION:

"you're a chickenshit taking potshots and(sic) the scary Muslims from the safety of your 60 acre bunker."

And thank you... Mr Anonymous irony-deprived troll.

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LAST WORD: No Sharia Law in Canada?

I guess it depends on who... or more to the point... what deity you talk to.

Might also be a timely idea to start up "Kevlar Vest Fund"... to help out anyone who finds themselves on the wrong end of a fatwa.

And, no... I'm not joking.

It ain't rocket science

You wanna discourage bad behaviour... you bring down the full weight of the law...

A Thai official told the National Post that Thailand had arrested a Canadian citizen, who was then “handed over” to Canadian authorities. The official did not want to be named and said the case was considered classified and active.

13 December 2010

Beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia...

...where festive candles aren't the only things that get blown away...

VANCOUVER — Deputy Chief Warren Lemcke said “no innocent people” were struck by bullets during the early Sunday morning shooting.

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UPDATE: Payback... it's a bitch

Vancouver police Chief Jim Chu said Monday this explosion of violence may have been triggered by several factors, but “started” with Gurmit Dhak.

Dhak, a 32-year-old longtime gangster, was executed point-blank just before 6 p.m. at Burnaby’s busy Metrotown mall on Oct. 16.

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RELATED: Back in Toronto the Good

No word yet, on which gun club the shooter belonged to.

In other "big city crime is down" news...

-- TORONTO -- A woman is being treated in hospital after being stabbed in the face or neck in the Yonge-Eglinton neighbourhood during the Monday morning rush hour.

The victim, in her late 50s, was rushed to Sunnybrook hospital.

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UPDATE: Stabber arrested

A dramatic and near-deadly scene outside a midtown Tim Hortons has ended with the arrest of the victim's husband.

Adrian Tidd, 57, was charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault, assault with a weapon, forcible confinement and weapons dangerous.

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THANK YOU COMMENT MODERATION:

Lots of LOL'ing & PWN'ing and "you're just a hater" from the usual trolls.

Yeah, you dumb bunnies... this is all about me... who cares about the victims?

Akiel Eubank and Gregory Sappleton have been acquitted of killing 11-year-old Ephraim Brown.

Both men embraced each other in tears as Ephraim's mother quietly wept in her seat. Eubank and Sappleton, both 24, were accused of opening fire on each other during a gang shootout.

None of my detractors disputes that all these horrendous things are happening... instead they simply say I'm a monster for pointing them out.

Heads firmly up their asses... there's a solution.

Another Jane Taber tongue-bath...

...must be Monday...

"Bob Rae thinks he’s figured out the Conservative’s strategy about a proposed North American perimeter arrangement with the United States." --

Yeah... I remember when ol' Boob thought he'd figured out what was ailing Ontario... never mind, for instance... Canada... or perhaps Sweden...

Remember folks... friends don't let friends vote Liberal.

Toronto... a place to realise your dreams

“In all our lives, we’re trying to be in a place where we can have more comfort, and that takes a bit of financial stability,” he said.

“So, I’ve been trying my best to get things up and running.”

Teach your children well

"For years, I’ve been hearing tales of political correctness gone amok at OISE, including radical anti-Israeli events. But it took the Peto case to really get me probing around to see what else is going on at OISE."

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RELATED: And Marshall McLuhan wept...

Lee came from the University of California, Los Angeles, where he spent nearly five years researching the lives of rappers in South Central Los Angeles. He is under contract with the University of Chicago Press to turn his thesis, "Rap Dreams," into a book.

Lee is what could be called a hot ticket. The day before we met, he had just agreed to an assistant professorship at the University of Toronto. Toronto has agreed to let him stay in Philadelphia for another year so he can stick with the gunshot victims he is tracking.

12 December 2010

Meet Taimour Abdulwahab al-Abdaly

Stockholm bomber identified... but Swedish Prime Minister apparently not convinced...

"We know that a man is dead. We know that a car exploded. We know that some threats has been given to the secret police and media," Reinfeldt said.

"But we are not sure they are connected. And I think it's very important not to give final answers based on speculation."

Well, you know Fredrik... he did have a bag of nails strapped to his body.

Maybe he was a carpenter... like Jesus.

**********

UPDATE: Every terrorist's nightmare...

...premature emasculation.

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RELATED: That good ol' time religion

A bomb blast has hit a school bus in the north-western Pakistani city of Peshawar, killing the driver and a 13-year-old boy.

The roadside bomb, of the type used against Nato troops in Afghanistan, was planted in a bin.

A 13-year-old girl is among four people seriously injured after Monday's explosion, police say.

Yet again... the capricious and unknowable "Will of Allah."

If only there was a Long Gun Registry

Interestingly... no word yet on how many of those involved were actually... farmers, duck hunters or skeet shooters...

Ten people were injured and several others were taken into custody after what Vancouver police are calling “an outrageous display of gang violence”.

Six men and three women were treated for gunshot wounds and two of the victims were in critical condition. A tenth victim refused treatment and was taken to police headquarters for questioning.

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RELATED: Meanwhile, back in Hogtown...

A Toronto cop’s gun was fired during a struggle with a man in North York early Sunday morning, police said.

There was a struggle, the suspect did try to disarm the officer,” Toronto Police Const. Everett Chan said. “As a result of the struggle, the firearm was discharged.”

Yordan Grigorov, 21, was charged with assaulting a peace officer with a weapon, attempted murder while using firearm, escaping lawful custody and other offences.

Buffalove

“It’s pretty amazing to see such a wild animal in this sort of an unusual setting, really,” he said, pointing at Bailey and Jim Sautner in the bar. “Bailey is a little frisky at times, but it’s amazing how tame he is.”

11 December 2010

So... are you listening now?

Two nearly simultaneous explosions rocked central Stockholm on Saturday evening, killing one person and injuring two others. Police believe the man who died may have blown himself up.

The fatal blast occurred just minutes after a car exploded on another nearby street sending two people to hospital.

Roughly ten minutes before the explosions, Swedish news agency TT received an email telling Muslims in Sweden and Europe it was "time to take action".

Geez... that kinda sounds like a clue.

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FROM THE CBC COMMENTS: Traveling hopefully, as always...

"Its a little early to surmise what really happened. It may have been a terrorist attack or not."

Hey, Sunny from Surrey... read slower...

From the CBC article...

Swedish media also reported that a suicide bomber blew himself up about 200 metres from the car. The man apparently had canisters on him and shouted in Arabic before the blast.

Swedish media were also reportedly sent a threatening email before the blast, criticizing the role of Swedish soldiers in Afghanistan and urging Muslims to take action.

[video here]

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UPDATE: Paging CBC's Sunny from Surrey, BC

Sweden's SVT television later reported that the man who died in the attack was the bomber. A bag filled with nails was found near the body, SVT said.

Hey, Sunny... maybe he was a carpenter, huh? Or, how about a plumber?

The Aftonbladet newspaper quoted a source as saying that the man was carrying six pipebombs, of which only one exploded.

Turn your back for just a second...

-- MCKEES ROCKS, Pa. -- Authorities say a 2-year-old girl spent 15 minutes stuck inside a toy crane vending machine in a Pittsburgh-area mall.

Moon Run Fire Chief Paul Kashmer tells WPXI-TV that the girl didn't seem upset by the ordeal Wednesday night in the food court at the Mall of Robinson, in Robinson Township. Kashmer says firefighters arrived to find "the cutest little girl in a pink outfit sucking her binky inside with the other toys."

The girl apparently climbed up the chute into which the coin-operated crane drops prizes. Kashmer used a tool to pry open a door on the machine to reach the girl.

The vending company hasn't been identified.

Oh, c'mon... it's not like she's gonna be...

...working in a hostile environment with some of the most dangerous men in Canada... wait...

"As a correctional officer, she will be permitted to wear gloves and long sleeves to avoid skin-to-skin contact with male offenders in accordance with her religious and cultural practices."

"But she is fully aware that in an institutional environment, there may come a time when she does have to have skin-to-skin contact with males."

May come a time?

Seriously?

Tonight's CTV Moonbat moment

CTV's Gallery Talk & uber-analyst Bob Fife expounding on a poll that was favorable to the Conservatives...

"I wouldn't read too much into it... the Prime Minister has a knack to screw it all up." --

And he doesn't stop there...

"I don't know what he's been smoking... it's not the Stephen Harper we're used to." --

So Bob... is the Prime Minister a doper... or just incompetent?

Bias... what media bias?

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FROM THE COMMENTS:

"Frankly my dear - I don't give a Fife."

10 December 2010

In other "crime is down" news...

...it looks like incoming Mayor Rob Ford has his work cut out for him...

Serious crime spiked in the last three months on Toronto Community Housing property while arrears rose over $4 million and evictions dropped.

And, apparently... "affordable housing" just doesn't begin to describe it...

Meanwhile, compared to 2009, evictions from TCHC property are down 51% while the number of households in arrears climbed to 5,755, up 11% from the same three months a year earlier.

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RELATED: Unlike the Liberals & NDP...

..."the community" knows that harassing farmers, duck hunters & skeet shooters... just ain't gonna get the job done...

Pastors and other leaders of the black community are appealing to young men to put their weapons down and stop killing each other following gunplay in which two men were shot in Whitby.

Twenty-six of 29 men killed by guns in Toronto were young blacks and they left behind families and friends who suffer, members of the group pointed out.

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LAST WORD: And the struggle continues...

Two men were hurt, one critically, when officers from York Region opened fire on a mini van in the west end of Toronto early Friday.

Police say the officers involved in the shooting were members of the Hold-up Squad working undercover to track down suspects behind a recent rash of armed gas station heists that began last month across the GTA.

Health care, the economy... crime?

Nope... obviously the Natural Governing Party has other pressing priorities...

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RELATED: Mirror, mirror, on the wall

And hey... how about that Chinese guy, too?

"One year ago, I was humbled to receive the Nobel Peace Prize -- an award that speaks to our highest aspirations, and that has been claimed by giants of history and courageous advocates who have sacrificed for freedom and justice."

You don't tug on Superman's cape...

...and you don't mess around with, uhm... Alice...

“I think I am a real nice person. If he had come and knocked on my door, I probably would have opened it. That’s the kind of person I am. I like to laugh. I like to joke. I am a soft-hearted person.”

She dialed 911. Two days later the RCMP made an arrest.

[via reader jo]

FROM THE NATPO COMMENTS:

"Call for a cop, call for an ambulance, call for a pizza -- see which shows up first. When is she going to be charged with assault?"

**********

RELATED: The first thing we do...

...is hang all the lawyers...

-- VANCOUVER -- Eric Kirkpatrick was “highly compromised” by his epilepsy medication and not thinking clearly when he shot his boss several times with a shotgun, the accused killer’s lawyer told a jury Thursday.

“He had no plan to kill Ben Banky. He liked Ben Banky a lot. He respected him. They shared the same values.”

Hang on a second... who did Ben Banky murder?

And why do we let lawyers say stuff like this?

And Marcus Welby wept

The gastroenterologist had told the man if he pursued this course of treatment, he would refuse to be his doctor anymore. "You'll be on your own," the man remembers the doctor telling him.

Indeed, he was on his own, standing in the office of a Thai doctor, asking her to pick the worm eggs out of an 11-year-old girl's stool.

If you build it... they will come... and come...

...and come...

This is what happens when government rings the dinner bell, and it's an indication of just how loose the rules are for vetting past injustices, real or not.

Throw in the cult of victimology permeating modern liberalism and you have a cash cow ready to be milked. Victims will come out of the woodwork.

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RELATED: Somebody remind me again...

...why is it, we give the United Nations a single red cent?

Hang on a sec... probation? Seriously?

In other "live & don't learn" news...

-- WINNIPEG -- During an interview with his school guidance counsellor, the boy repeated references to the Columbine and Virginia Tech massacres and threatened to kill a male classmate.

"The student involved was so scared he stopped going to school," Baragar said.

Another classmate claimed the teen told him he wanted to "blow up the school," Baragar said. School officials seized bomb diagrams from the teen and found gunpowder in his pockets.

Gembey said the teen is learning how to control his anger and has distanced himself from gang-affiliated friends.

Yeah... maybe he got scared straight, huh?

Judge Tracey Lord told the teen to choose his words more carefully in the future.

"I appreciate you don't censor yourself ... but sometimes these kinds of words can really scare people," she said.

Thank you Judge Yoko.

09 December 2010

Jumping the... well... you know

Seriously?

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RELATED: Yup... business as usual

An extensive search of the WikiLeaks database by the Guardian by date, name and keyword failed to locate any of the incendiary allegations. It suggests this is the first case of WikiLeaks being exploited for propaganda purposes.

And despite this decision...

...whaddaya wanna bet... he never gets deported?

“I find that [Mohamed] Harkat has engaged in terrorism, that he is a danger to the security of Canada and that he is a member of the Bin Laden Network,” Justice Simon Noel writes in a decision released Thursday.

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FROM THE COMMENTS:

"Remember when Mr. Harkat made a show of cutting off his GPS ankle monitor? The male part of his crowd of supporters screamed "Allahu Akbar" while Mr. Harkat snipped away."

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RELATED: Live & don't learn

The CSIS agents wanted to know how the Khadrs managed to travel between Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, Turkey, Yemen, Syria and Canada during the late 1990s, with no apparent means of support other than their work for Islamic charities.

Mr. Khadr replied his father lived off a Canadian disability pension.

Oh Canada.

Sure it's a modest start, but at least...

...the meter's spinnin' in the right direction...

Mayor Rob Ford’s campaign to stop the “gravy train” scored a small but tasty $48,000 victory.

Toronto city council voted Wednesday to scrap snacks and beverages for councillors during all meetings for the next four years.

And, heck... let's put this "victory" in the context of what usually happens in the center of the universe...

Three councillors tried and failed to get council to add them to their committees of choice.

Mihevc wanted to add himself to the TTC by creating a new commissioner position. Coun. Glenn De Baeremaeker wanted to create an extra seat on the Toronto Zoo board for himself while Counc. John Filion failed in his bid to create an extra seat on the planning committee so he could serve there.