It’s not that life is too short...

...it’s that it’s too long — too long to waste time being “friends” with people who, deep down, hate who you are.

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RELATED: What's next... safe-penetration sites?

Austrian police will hand out 6,000 pocket rape alarms on New Year’s Eve to help fight mass sex attacks such as those perpetrated by migrants in neighbouring Germany a year ago.

When activated, the gadgets will emit a shrill sound aimed at deterring potential attackers and attracting help, Interior Ministry spokesman Karl-Heinz Grundboeck explained.

Or you could arrest rapists and put them in jail.

Just saying.