I'M SO OLD I REMEMBER BORING WHITEBREAD SCARBOROUGH

-- "A man was rushed to a trauma centre via emergency run after being stabbed early Sunday morning near Kennedy Road and Finch Avenue in northwest Scarborough. Toronto police said that they responded to reports of a large bar fight in that area at around 3:15 a.m." --

And

-- "A woman is suffering serious injuries and a man is in custody after a stabbing Monday morning at Birchmount Road and Eglinton Avenue in Toronto’s east end." --

POP QUIZ:

-- "How did boring, white-bread Scarberia become Scarlem — a mess of street gangs, firebombings and stabbings?" --

Meanwhile, back in the wild, wild west...

-- "Police in Peel Region are investigating after a person was shot in the parking lot of a nightclub near Eglinton Avenue East and Dixie Road in Mississauga early Sunday morning." --