THOSE DARNED 'MALES'...THEY'LL TAKE YOUR BLING, YOUR WHIP AND YOUR PUP

-- "Toronto Police are searching for a male suspect after a Porsche Cayenne with a two-month-old puppy inside was stolen in an armed carjacking at Sheppard Avenue and Jane Street in Toronto Sunday morning." --

The wild, wild, west...

-- "Officers from Peel Regional Police are searching for two men in their 20s following an armed robbery Dixie Outlet Mall in Mississauga." --

And there's the usual non-description...

-- "The suspects were reportedly wearing dark clothing and medical masks." --

THE SILENCE OF THE BLMs...

-- "Suh sick gang 10 down yutes jump flemmo yutes at Wendys near Canadas Wonderland" --