Dear Jacko... I'm thinkin' we should...

...start out with something easier... like maybe potable water and basic hygiene... 'cos, you do know we're talking about a place where, believe it or not... lotsa people still believe in witchcraft... right?

And hey... I'm just spitballin' here, but how about we save the "what you do with your penis" stuff until we know them a little better? The thing is, I'm not so sure it's as simple as... "If you bring them, they will, er...come."

"The head of the Catholic Church in Mozambique has told the BBC he believes some European-made condoms are infected with HIV deliberately."

Uh-huh.