Another year...

Another mythical spring offensive.

-- KABUL -- The Taliban has said it will use new techniques and draw on years of fighting experience to increase attacks in Afghanistan this spring.

A statement Tuesday attributed to Taliban senior commander Mullah Bradar also warned Afghans working with the government to quit their jobs or risk being targeted.

Translation... we're gonna keep on sneaking out in the middle of the night to plant booby-traps beside the highway... and Allah be merciful to all those bureaucrats down at the Ministry of Agriculture... 'cos we're gonna slaughter them... and their wives & children too.

As for brilliant new tactics, what's really left... besides rounding up another lot of mentally handicapped villagers... duct taping semtex to their battered, undernourished bodies and sending them out into public venues? I mean, it worked out so brilliantly last time, didn't it?

The fact is, each and every time these raggedy-ass donkeyheads actually stand and fight our troops... they get a 'one-way ticket' to the foot of the prophet. Every time... no exceptions.

The only people who really seem to be impressed are Field Marshall Dion, Taliban Jack Layton and screechy, little Lizzie May.

“It's the same old story, it's the same old nonsense,” Mark Laity, the NATO spokesman in Kabul, said Wednesday. “What are they saying they will do? More destruction, more unhappiness, more misery.

So, Mullah Bradar, you give it your best shot... like you... and your late predecessors... threaten to do every year.

Just don't be too surprised when you look out from your hillside burrow one day and realise that you're about to get your fondest wish... meeting your bloodthirsty maker... courtesy of Rick Hillier and a bunch of hard-ass trigger pullers from a place called Canada.

See, we're on a schedule now, pal... and trust me... we're gonna bring the rain.

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UPDATE: Taliban kicks off "Spring Slaughterfest"

Hey, Jack... "negotiate this."

A car bomb has exploded near a farmers' market in southern Afghanistan, killing eight people and wounding 17.

The provincial police chief Mohammad Hussein Andiwal told reporters there were no security forces in the area and that civilians were the target.

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