15 May 2008

I, Robot

Anybody who hasn't been living in a cave in Waziristan is probably familiar with the story about the Tim Hortons gal who got fired... for giving a Timbit to a baby.

Well, I've got a Tim Hortons story of my own.

Mrs. N and I, as is our wont... took our regularly scheduled trip into Costco in Kingston today. When we first started doing this, we used to pop into Tims near Gardiner on Princess on the way home... and grab a coffee and BLT for the ride. It didn't take too long before we ended up skipping the sandwich, after discovering it had a whole lot less "B" than other stores we frequented. No biggie really, Costco has sandwiches and makes a decent slice to boot.

So we still stopped at Tims for coffee, but even that became less appealing after Mrs. N kept running into Timmy's resident lounge-lizard-cum-server. To be fair, he apparently didn't single her out... he would be... what could be characterised as "inappropriately familiar"... with each and every lady who passed through the door. Mrs. N was a little hesitant to say, at first... but finally shared the fact that this guy also had a wonky eye... which, for her, really put the "eep" in creepy.

Anyway, thinking I would spare her the encounter with Kingston's own "Leisure Suit Larry"... I decided today I would hit the drive-thru. After a ten minute wait... I ended up being distracted and went 10 feet past the mike where you order. Unfortunately, the guy behind me also moved up... so I decided to just proceed... and order my single coffee at the window.

I get to the window and Donut-Boy is apparently thrown for a loop when I tell him I'm just ordering a single coffee. Apparently I have thrown a huge wrench into the smoothly oiled Tim Hortons machine. DB earnestly tells me he has no way to take my order and that I'll have to do another lap around the building and go through the process all over again.

At this point, I'm both speechless and pissed off. I could explain to him that he could take my toonie and get the cashier behind him to ring it in... whenever... or ask to speak to a manager... but this is the straw idiot that breaks the camel's back.

Now, I'm not sure... this being Kingston and all... whether this particular Timmys has some sort of day parole arrangement with the penitentiary... but mounting evidence suggests it may not be the best place to buy anything you're planning on ingesting.

So, I hold my tongue... put 'er in drive... and vow to share this story with everyone I meet for the rest of the year.

There. Now I feel better.


UPDATE: A number of readers have also emailed...

To defend their local Tim Hortons. My generic reply to them would be as follows...

I get that there is a system. I get that fast food places want machine-like obedience. And I definitely understand that... you pay peanuts, you get chimps.

This was just the last in a long line of little cosmic indicators that said... if you continue to patronise this particular store... you will very possibly end up with a pus smeared bandaid in your beverage.

And, my friend, you have to spend another ten minutes in an idling car waiting for it.

My local Tims is just fine. They'll still get my business.


Anonymous said...

I have no idea why anyone pays a ridiculous price for TH coffee.

Neo Conservative said...

maybe it's the 18% cream... lubricates the veins.


Dave Hodson said...

Anon, compared to other restaurants, I don't find the prices at TH to be that ridiculous. Have a look at what they charge at Starbucks or Timothy's!

Sure, it's cheaper to make coffee at home, and that's what I do most of the time. Hell, I'm in the food business, have a warehouse full of coffee, and can generally make a cup for free! However, if I'm out somewhere, particularly a good distance a from home, and I feel like a coffee, driving back home sometimes is not the most economical option. When I bought my last car, I didn't order the in-dash coffee maker option!

Rose said...

If I drink more than one of their coffees aday I'm so hyper I could paint ten houses in an hour. What do they put in their coffee anyway?

Homi you should of barked like a dog and then you would get a free Timbit like they give my dog. We have a local lad who gets drunk and takes his horse through the drive through. He's been arrested several times for it, but alas he keeps taking his horse through the drive through. Snicker, I guess the steaming pile of horse poo isn't welcome.

Just being honest said...

Another place I've always suspected of working in cooperation with the John Howard Society on some secret "reintegration into mainstream society" program is Harvey's. In the Ottawa area, I don't think I've ever seen a clean, shaven Harvey's employee without prison tattoos. Not even the girls . . . No! I kid, Ikid, they're clean . . .

Anonymous said...

My condolences on the TH servitis. I'm incredibly lucky to have the best server on one of the best staffs at a TH I've ever seen (and that would be dozens from Ontario to Cape Breton, and even a few in Michigan and Ohio!).

No matter how long the line she is serving in, I head for that one. Fast, accurate and always with a smile. Can't beat that. You order when you are two or three back in the line, get it and pay simultaneously.

Toronto IS good for something...

Reid said...

I make it well known every chance I get that I hate Tim Horton's with a passion, on principle as a Westerner.

Now what I would have done had I been in your shoes (which I wouldn't because I hate Tim Horton's but let's play make believe) is that I would have just parked at the window and refused to move until they sold me the coffee or a manager showed up. Could you imagine the chaos of stopping the line of sheep at Tim Horton's? Talk about throwing a monkey wrench into the cogs.

Neo Conservative said...

"reid says... I would have just parked at the window and refused to move"

that, of course, is the temptation, but think about it reid.

make a fuss at a fast food joint... you're pretty much guaranteeing you'll get that "special sauce"... horck!!!... on your rejigged entree.

i get around a thousand hits a day here... chances are... somebody at timmys head office is gonna hear about my little adventure.


Neo Conservative said...

main post updated... UPDATE: A number of readers have emailed...


Anonymous said...

I go to Tim Hortons every day, on my 30 minite lunch break. This one time, they give me a French Vanilla Capacino that tastes like brown water. Here is my advice. If you want service, grow your hair real long, grow a big nasty white beard and get yourself some cheep sunglasses ! Free capacino and timbits to boot !!!